Is it normal to be more attracted to the friendship of...

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Is it normal to be more attracted to the frienship of teacher than to that of other students?

Now, I do not mean this is a creepy love way; I simply mean friendship, as is having friends. I feel like I would rather become great friends with my teachers (actually, adults in general) than with the peers around me. I suppose it is as if I think the teachers are more willing to take the time to understand and listen to me. They are more patient, whereas most of the other students in my classes tend to ignore me or get annoyed when I get tripped up in sociallzing.

As of now, I speak with my teachers more than most of the other students during school (with the exception of a couple of very close friends). I look forward to seeing many of my teachers everyday because some of them always tell me good morning, hello, how are you, etc. It is like a daily routine that exists just between the teachers and I. I like it. I'm not used to getting spoken to very often outside of home.

So, do you think this is okay/normal, and do you have any thoughts to add?

Thank you.

It is perfectly normal for people with AS to be friends with their teachers more than other students. Teachers have a higher intellectual ability than students. People with AS tend to not fit in with other students for being intelligent.

Yes, at least it was for me. And some other people who were older.

Me too. Common interests are a major driver for relationships of any kind. It might also have had something to do with hearing the teacher talk more than any one of the other students. I wonder if some of the resistance I had to developing friendships with the other students, was due to there being so many of them, and unable to pick one out and focus my attention. In a class there is only one teacher, and this person generally gets to do most of the talking.

I've been there before.

It never worked that way for me when I was in school, although it would have been my preference (and I admit, some of the teachers were very kind - one of our art/ceramics teachers made me a small clay bust of a 1940s-type RAF pilot as a gift, because the era was a mutual interest, and to this day it's on my bookshelf).

At university, definitely so. I'm still in touch with a few of my lecturers, including my former head of subject, who I see socially from time to time. He commented that there was a marked difference between me and my fellow students which even the age gap didn't explain.

My teachers all loved me, and I never quite figured out why. So I guess that was true for me.

And yes, I would say that making friends or wishing to hang out with people of a particularly different age group is quite common.

My stepson also gravitates to the teacher but not for the same reasons as kids with AS. He gravitates towards younger children and adults because his peers are more likely to judge him. It is not so he can have an intellectual conversation (he likes to talk about objects), it is because he knows the adult will accept him, is less likely to reject him but his teachers will tell him he needs to quit asking questions and he needs to join the group but he has NVLD and maybe undiagnosed autism, not AS, it's a world of difference as I am learning.

It is? I thought that both were believed to be closely related to AS.

I think this is exactly why I tend to get along better with the adults (and for that matter, younger children, as mentioned). I feel like they (adults) will take the time to accept and understand me. I don't always say words and phrases in the correct order (ex: the other day, someone asked me how I was doing. I replied, "How are you. Fine, thanks." Luckily it was a teacher and she just went along with it. Another student would have begun making fun of me for that). As for the younger children, I (being older) am someone they can look up to and they see me as someone who knows more than they do, therefore they will respect me. It is a good feeling.

Last edited by Aspienoid on 08 Sep 2009, 5:30 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I thought they were closely related but my stepson doesn't seem to fit. I don't know. I haven't read a post here in a week of anyone like my stepson.

You'd probably make an excellent teacher.

You are making an unfounded assumption that all people with AS choose to talk with teachers for intellectual stimulus. Simply, adults and younger children are more tolerant then a childs peers. Your stepson exhibits similar behaviour to me as child and now that I'm an adult I find it easier to talk to younger people who are more tolerant and less judging.

Not sure what you mean by, "it's a world of difference"? Some with AS are exceptionally proficient at grammer, reading, mathematics etc and may have no learning difficulties. Others like myself have learning difficulties, especially with reading, spelling and grammer . I do not satisfy the criteria for NVLD, but I certainly have some of the traits and consider my issue to be a visual processing problem.

Last edited by EvoVari on 08 Sep 2009, 7:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I have considered it. But then again, I don't know that I could handle getting up in front of a classroom of children and be expected to be responsible for their education. I feel like I would not adequetly do the job or be able to connect emotionally with the children.

I would enjoy working with kids, though, and am considering a career in pediatric emergency medicine. I do realize, however, that I would have to comminucate reasonably well to them, their parents, and my coworkers. But It's something to strive for.

By the way, I never mentioned this before, but it could be relevant, so, I am a junior in high school, in case that helps anyone provide an answer.

with me, this be true.

I normally wouldn't spend time/hang out with teachers outside of school, although there are several other adults I would rather hang around with than peers. However, in school it wasn't uncommon for me to hardly talk to any other students all day and have lengthy conversations with teachers or my school counselor. Even if I wanted to spend time with teachers outside of school, I don't think they would do it. Most adults don't want hang around someone my age, even though I'm -technically- an adult.