Looking back at my childhood..

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My (fabulous) son has AS. Looking back at my childhood, I think I definitely had a lot of AS traits, but through time I have learned to cope better in social situation and am now probably borderline AS.

Does the following experience sound familiar to anyone, especially other females? As a baby I was a constant crier -label: 'a miserable child'. As a young child I would not join in any group activities (e.g. music and movement) and got berated by my teachers. I was asked to leave Brownies after a short while. My teacher told my parents I had no empathy. I often insulted people by accident (e.g. asking them how they got their birthmark is one example) I didn't know how to console other children in the playground if they were upset - this seemed to come naturally to other girls. Hated being singled out, or centre of attention. Uncomfortable in family or group meetings (e.g. being told to come down from my room and speak to my parents friends or distant relatives then criticised by parents for being rude!). Always reading dictionaries/atlases/encyclopedias, labelled 'odd' 'weird' 'absent-minded' 'clumsy' 'stubborn' 'too clever'.

As I grew up, I followed my favourite sports team / favourite band perhaps more than the norm but mixed quite well with the 'indie' crowd. Now I enjoy socialising but sometimes I talk too much and other times I can come across as bolshy (even though I don't mean to be), my mind wanders when people are talking, hate loud noise, quite stimmie (nail biting, leg jiggling). Still find the girly huggy/kissy thing quite disconcerting!

As I child I had low self esteem. I wish that I had not felt so criticised or misunderstood. Sadly my mother has passed away, otherwise I think she would confirm what I suspect myself, (following my son's diagnosis) and realise why I was a difficult child. I don't blame my parents, they loved me and did their best. On a positive note, I am determined that my son grows up knowing he is loved, accepted just as he is

Do you think my experience sounds like AS?

I think my brother/father also have traits. Also my brother's son is termed 'gifted'.
Thanks for reading!

Yep. Sounds very familiar.

It's quite possible. I think a lot of parents that start looking at themselves realize it after their child's diagnosis, especially those of us who were oddballs that they never even had a real label to pin to us, so to say.

I found that part that I quoted hilarious, because I was just talking to my boyfriend the other day about this... I told him we seem to play opposite roles in our relationship. He searches for cutesy images and e-mails them to me, along with those silly little "I love you" types of things, and I just... laugh. I don't know how to respond to it, and really don't feel comfortable with it all. It's almost too much for me to keep up with all of that, and I feel like I'm supposed to match this somehow to make him feel okay... but I never can get motivated enough to do so.

In my last relationship, my fiance at the time, got me a bunch of flowers. I don't care for flowers... you have to get a vase, fill it with water, sometimes add some junk to it so they don't die right away... but they always die eventually and you can't do much with them besides look at them. So I took the flowers, and said "awww, thank you" and tried to be convincing, but it didn't work... and a friend of mine was right behind him with something behind his back. Right after I put the flowers in the vase and all that and was just kinda bleh from them, the friend pulls out the RISK game and I started jumping up and down and squealing, flapping hands and the whole 9 yards. I just couldn't help it...

I remember a boy wanting to go out with me in grade eight. He told me I was very pretty and all sorts of niceties. My response? "That's nice... so what do you want?" He was totally crushed. I hope he's not a serial killer because of that.