Not sure is I have aspergers or not?

Post Reply New Topic

Well, I've known there's something wrong with me. I still can't find it. But something's there. I've considered ADD, but my mother doesn't believe in that. She won't take me to a psychologist. I have Social Anxiety Disorder, as a fact. And I am majorly depressed.

Well basically something that got me to consider Aspergers is that a close internet friend has a mild case of it, and I seem to have a lot in common with him, when it comes to ways of thinking, and that sort of stuff. It also runs in my family...One of my uncles is borderline autistic. He hasn't been tested but acts extremely like it. Virtually all my uncles have a mental problem! XD

Well I definately have problems socializing. I am often spaced out when people are talking...Even to me! In many social situations I just find myself in this bubble. I just feel cut off from reality. I have issues keeping concentration at school, for if I don't love doing something, if it isn't hands on and visual, I can't concentrate. I really hate homework more than the average child, and rarely do it. I also struggle severely with math, especially algebra. I can't grasp it. If I don't like the teacher, the class is close to useless.
That's one thing I'm not sure about. Aren't people with Asperger's generally not too keen with reading other people? I think I am pretty good at it, but it's more intuitive. I can't put it into words. And It's more of an emotional state I'm sensing than anything else. I find a bad teacher, or depressing person awful to be around.
Um, I like English, a lot. But only creative writing and essays. Having to read literature and do work sheets is awful.

Um, well I can find relating to people awkward. I can be very open with close friends, but it ends there. Comforting crying people is a nightmare. I feel sympathy, and stuff, but haven't got a clue nor feel comfortable showing it. I've never even kissed a guy, and the thought of that makes me feel very uncomfortable...Even though I desire it. Just the closeness and commitment seems scary. I don't really desire ever meeting new people, I do NOT like school dances, dancing, or youth group. I prefer solo or with close friends. Having to form small talk and look appropriate kills me.
I say the wrong things more than the average person. One time my friend literally had the most awful breath on earth, and she kept breathing it in my face. It was killing me inside and I wanted to ask her politely, but was worried she woud overreact because one time I casually offered everyone gum and she took offense at THAT. So me, being the socialite, blurted out "Pew! your breath stinks!" She was really offended, and I felt so stupid and ashamed of myself. I will say som things that are not intended to be mean, but they just come out wrong. And then I can't explain myself well, because I'm not a very verbal person.
I also tend to bring up taboo topics. I pick up when people aren't interested pretty easily, but often the pervert within comes out!! ! XD. I enjoy talking about things other people would consider awful in a quite frank manner. In my head I think of unpleasant stuff just as much as pleasant stuff. I can talk about sex for hours in an objective way.

I am quite sensitive to physical sensations. I probably use my sense of smell as much as my hearing, which is as much as my sense of sight. Small noises and movements really catch my attentions. So do smells. Some miniscule things really bother me. Like the scent of blood, or when the bathroom smells like vagina (yes, that's very wierd!) I cannot stand when people burp silently and let it breeze out, or when they chew loudly, smacking their lips. My dad does both, and I can't eat with my family anymore, because the noise and sight of it brings me almost to tears of frustration. I can get frustrated by things very easily.
I'm really sensitive to light, I have to squint extra hard in sunlight and my eyes get red. Also if someone's leg unexpectadly touches mine, my leg does a jump start thing, it's so wierd... just like the reflex when the doctor hits your knee. I also have to have some things done, like the doors must be closed when I'm in my room. It just bothers me insanely if they aren't closed. The tv heard from the other room KILLS me. Basically I have these little things that irritate other people because they don't realize the extent to which they bother me...it's probably an abnormal extent. I can get pretty hot headed during fights. If I can, I'll just hide in another room, because I hate confrontation, but I've been known to say some awful things, that just slip out when I'm angry .

I'm a very disorganized thinker, and can be quite sloppy, but my morning ritual hasn't changed for years, i'm pretty sure it's an attempt to compensate for my lack of mental organization. I do everything in the exact same order, following the time on my phone...So I get everything right to the last minute, almost. I tend to have routines, I do the exact same thing upon arriving at school every day, I use the bathroom at the same times every day, pretty much. When I take walks, I take the exact same routes. I have a lot of routines and can get a bit stressed if they are interrupted. I also will eat the same foods over and over. Just because I like them. At restaurants I order the exact same thing every time.
I do like adventures though. Hiking and travelling. Just my home HAS to have the routines and organization I want.

I wouldn't say my interests are as specific as a lot of aspergers people might have, but I do have my passions. I fervently love my computer for all it is. I ADORE music. I love reptiles, and RC hobby cars. Anything automotive is amazing to me. I really lvoe anything made of metal and grease , and I love drawing, I'm very good at it. I love physics and science, although the maths part is hard for me to grasp. I feel that's more because I haven't really had many good math teachers though. I wouldn't say I'm an expert in any of the areas, but that's because I never have a chance to do them . I get upset when I do not get to enjoy hobbies..Sorta depression.

Another thing is I'm quite imaginative. I think in 3d, sounds have shapes, songs create a wonderful visual sensation for me. And I'm apparently a strongly visual-spatial thinker. I love learning how things work. I can come up with scenarios and see things move quite easily in my head. As a kid I loved playing make believe, inventing and designing animals then pretending to be them. I heard that is NOT a sign of aspergers. So I'm not sure.
I cannot speak ideas or anything well at all. My head dissapears if I'm on the spot. I can communicate much better via writing. Often I try to explain something and no one understands .
You could call me more of a "do" person. I'm much more comfortable doing things than talking. I dislike shooting the breeze on the phon.e There are some exceptions though. I can get into deep dicussion mood.

I have a pretty good sense of humour. I am above average intelligence. I can sympathize, emphasize with people, and pick up social cues pretty well. But I feel it's learned, because I love observing people. And any sort of understanding of other people comes from me looking to my own mind. In general I feel like I'm very introspective and detached.
One last thing is stuff can NOT stay in my head. I have learned bits of math over and over. I always forget them. I forget birthdays ALL the time. I can't even remember my mom's. It isnt that I don't care, I just CAN'T remember. I am so willing to do things for people is they just ask me to, because those things often bypass me without me realizing it.

Sorry that was so long! I can't write everything down, is there any other symptoms a person with aspergers would have??? Is there a possibility I could have it? If so could you ask me specific questions? Thank you for your time, really, thanks! I understand that was a big chunk of time. XD

Sounds like some type of ASD may be a possibility. I take it from reading your post that you are still a kid in school. Perhaps if your parents cant/wont take yoiu to a psychologist, your school may have one. Check with your school office, and they can certainly provide more info.

i asked them about it, they didnt contact me back. oh well...maybe some time soon. maybe i can convince my mom to take a general sort of test to figure out whats wrong with me. do they have those?

Welcome to WP!

thank you. . im a bit reluctanct to welcome myself, though. Not sure If i have ADD or AS...

also do sleep problems accompany aspergers? i have a lot of sleep issues. im often a zombie at school, due to it.

If it's interfering with schoolwork, it would be worthwhile to consult with someone. You should get your mom to take you to see someone who can help you with paying attention during school and wanting to do homework. Tell your mom that it's in the best interest of your future to do so, you are having problems with your schoolwork and have plans to attend college, are worried about your grades and getting a good job while older. That might convince her to take you to see someone. You could try talking to a school counselor. Make an appointment with one who can get you a referal.
It's best to get this taken care of ASAP before you get too far behind or totally disenchanted with school.

ok, i will talk to her. ive treid before, she doenst seem to care. maybe if i am persistent?
not just that, i just want to KNOW whats wrong with me. so i can at least feel a kinship to some people about it.

I haven't read your whole post since it's very long and it's very late here, but from what I have read it does seem you could be on the spectrum. I can relate to feeling you're different and possibly AS and then your parents won't take you seriously. I had that exact same experience when I was 16/17. I didn't get a diagnosis back then but did eventually get one when I was 20/21.

As for sleep problems, they certainly can be part of AS but they are also fairly normal teenage problems I think, particularly sleeping less at night than you would need.