Can't even tell the truth convincingly??

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OK, when I was little, I absolutely could not utter an untruth without getting this guilty smile on my face. Later on, I learned to control it mostly.

But when I'm saying something that IS true, but I am worried that the person I'm telling it to isn't going to believe me, I immediately get this shifty, untrustworthy look on my face. And then I worry that I look like I'm lying, which makes it worse!

This happened yesterday when I was ill so I had to stay off school. I have ordered some books from Amazon that are due to arrive today or tomorrow, and yesterday my mum asked me if I skipped school so I could get my books faster. I absolutely didn't, because they weren't even being delivered yesterday anyway - I really was (and still am) feeling ill. I answered "no", but I could just tell that I totally looked like I was telling a lie. And this morning, when I said I was still feeling bad (still true), she said, "It is about the books, isn't it? I saw that look on your face when I mentioned that yesterday!"

Another time, when I told my mum that we got two days off school in the middle of the week because the cleaners were on strike, she was staring at me too long so I got the look on my face again, and she said, "You're kidding, aren't you?" and I said, "No, I'm not. Check the school website!" (She did check the website, and of course it confirmed what I was saying.)

I've had teachers accuse me of telling lies when I've been telling the truth, as well.

I don't know, maybe I should get a T-shirt: "Don't even bother trying to read my facial expressions or body language. It's just not gonna work."

Does anyone else have this problem?

I used to have this problem all the time. My mother’s way of deciding who to punish for an incident was to make me and my sister look her straight in the eye and recount our side of the story. The theory was that anyone who couldn’t hold the gaze throughout, smiled, looked nervous, fidgeted or gave any other sign of discomfort was the liar. This was always me whether I was lying or not.

This ultimately led to me being blamed for everything and being labelled the trouble maker, while my sister who was equally guilty got away scot free time after time.

I very much have that issue. I think the cause is a pretty big combination of factors... I rant about 'em all the time on here..

This is one of the worst things about this, never being believed even about really simple stuff. At least you haven't waited til you're 30 to do something about it. I've lost too many friends and noone has ever trusted me because of this and it's all down to the non-verbal cues you don't even know you're giving off.

Hope you got http://www.amazon.com/Truth-About-Lying ... 155&sr=8-1 as I've heard from a few sources that it's the best, read it myself too and it's amazing. Get one about body language too ( http://www.amazon.com/What-Every-BODY-S ... gy_b_img_c ). It's a bit of a shock to find out the things you do all the time are giving out such negative cues but fixing it is a relief.

You need to do a kind of reverse engineering with these books, you'll see you've been doing some of the things the books say are negative without even realising so you can then work on not doing them in the future. You'll also be much better equipped to be able to tell when people are lying to you. You'll see an immediate improvement if you avoid the negative cues and it's not difficult to do at all.

Once you've finished the book turn it round and start again, this stuff needs to really sink in and become second nature so you do it without thinking. It's also very easy to slip back in to bad habits without realising.

Don't make that T-shirt up by the way, you won't need it! Make another one up that says 'I can tell when you're lying to me' instead.

Remember to post the books you got if they helped.

Thanks for all your posts so far.

@Hmmmn - thanks so much for the advice. I'll buy that book when I get some more money.

Yup, it's not only personal relationships that suffer but proffesional too, I've always had the impression doctors never believe what I'm saying, one time it took me nearly dying before one would believe I was actually ill. Then he still thought I was fishing for drugs after the operation.
Government officials such as benefit advisers are another bad one, they basically assume anyone who looks or sounds off is trying to defraud them and they don't like that at all.

Everyone here must know what it's like to be followed around by store detectives in every shop they go to. Always being searched at customs. Always being blamed for things that are nothing to do with you etc etc it's all the same thing and reading the books will tell you what exactly it is that you're doing wrong, reversing it is really hard but not impossible I'd say especially if you start young.

tis good yeah!

Teachers never belived me, even (perhaps especially) when I couldn't see how they could possibly not beleive me. In fact, it somewhat shaped my thoughts about authority. I'm a bit if a sceptic when I'm told people are trying to work alongside me. I just want to tell them all to pull their heads from out of their behinds and LISTEN. TO. ME! I feel I'm dismissed often and that people just don't trust me so in my late teens and early twenties I started just abusing the fact that people are always ready to accept what they want to hear, even if it's not true. Then I didn't like who I was so I don't do it often, but when I'm having to work within a system that I don't trust or feel trusted by I will still do it for my own survuival.

If I was subjected to a lie detector, and they asked me "What's your name?" and I answered truthfully, they'd have to conclude I'm lying from the readings.

I rarely ever cry, but without fail being accused of lying when I'm telling the truth will bring me to tears.

I'm the same, I (almost) never lie yet sometimes I can't seem to keep a straight face telling the truth! The only time I fib is if I'm upset with my husband and he asks me what's wrong - then I say "nothing" because I don't know how to tell him what is really wrong, but he knows there is something.

I wondered why I always get tested for drugs / bombs and patted down at airports and my husband rarely does. Once I was wearing tight jeans and a tight t-shirt - no room to hide anything! - and I was still patted down, making me very uncomfortable and likely to seem even more suspicious (I thought perhaps the female security guard fancied me!).