Are these signs of an Aspie? It's kinda long

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I'm sure many of you get this a lot. Honestly I'm freaking out... I've just spent the last day not sleeping reading about this Aspergers. I stumbled upon it accidently while trying to figure out why my voice sucks pretty much. It's very unattractive, deep and monotone. I can't express emotion though my voice. I just don't know how...neither can I though my face. I'm horrible at pictures cuz I don't know what to do with my face! So I was looking this up and came accross this condition. In all my research I've never found so much that perfectly describes me and my life since I was a boy. I'm 23 years old just so you know. It was like I finally found me, a reason, a rhym to my life. Yet I'm a little depressed at the same time. So what I am asking is not for anyone to say yes you are, or no your not. I know it takes a professional. What I would like is for someone, as many as possible please, to say yes it's possible, or yes those are conditons of aspergers. And if you think I do, you can say it. And I'd like to learn a lot more about it so any respectable resources would be nice. Documentaries too...I've can't find many of those.

Alrigh here I go... Lieing I don't understand it, and I don't do it. I lie even when the consequeces are dire, or yes babe you need to lose weight. I love people, love being social, love parties, but I have no freaking clue what I'm doing, what to say. I can't carry a conversation unless I'm babbling about cars or science or the army...or complaining. I just can't talk, I don't know what to say, my mind is blank. I have no friends really. A few people that I talk to on occasion, but no one really likes hanging out with me which I find out. I consider myself a pretty normal person. I am extremely individualistic, yet someone a part of the mainstream. I have normal guy hobbies, I'm attractive, like girls, love cars, I'm a great listener and am always nice and tolerant to everyone. But someone I get the vibe that people think I'm boring. They won't tell me of course cuz they lie which is dumb, but no one ever wants to chill unless there's alcohol involved. Also and I read somewhere that sexual fantasies can be a bit different...I have to admit that mine are out there...I don't like blood, other bodily stuff, or toes..nothing odd like that, but I like anything kinky, rough and I have a fetish for very petite girls. I consider myself very inteligent. My ASVAB scores were through the roof, I don't have to study and I was an honors math student for many years. I have a 141 IQ and find anything logical simple. In fact I live by logic, whether its friendships, work, anything...my brain processes everything through logic which has led to me falling away from religion. Oh but I'm only smart in fields that interest me...I'm plain stupid if it's boring..can't pay attention to subjects like english or anything that I just don't like. It won't stick or makes sense. I have extreme sensitivity to sunlight. All my life I've worn sunglasses not thinking anything of it until in the army they told me to take them off. I marched into the hospital and got a note from a doctor that allowed me to permanatly keep my shades, but even then I still hurt. I see wonderfully at night which was great for mission in Iraq, but painful if I ever didn't bring my sunglasses for the day. Even bright rooms or flashlights hurt. I can't stand anything that's not perfect. Straight lines, a clean house. I'm always cleaning and I get very upset when people mess with my alphabitzed stuff or move a nick nack or don't rinse their dish. Paper has to be folded perfect and so on...(ocd) I am very athletic, and have no problems getting around or with balance. I suck at basketball and baseball cuz I get make it or hit it, but I'm an accomplished martial artist, avid mt. biker, runner, and just fit overall. Beside my voice being horrible and boring, raspy and such I don't have any speech problems except that I don't know what to say. I've been told a lot I'm not very polite which irritates me cuz I'm always thinking of others feelings often ahead of mine. But I've been told I don't acknowledge people appropriately, I don't greet people or say thanks to strangers. I hate saying hi to people and striking up new converstaions. I pace or need to stay very busy when I'm excited, but I don't have any ticks or anything. I'm often overly conscience of what to do with my arms. I feel like I'm not doing it right, but I have good posture. I eat whenever...all the time but neve to a schedule. I'm horrible at sleeping. Period! I am not creative...I can never think of anything to do so I just stick to what I know. Usually focusing on one thing for a long time, one show, one hobby, one friend, one activity. Then I move on to another, at work I'm great at multitasking, but in life not so. I considered myself my whole life as a normal person and I thought my lack of friendships and social abilities was due to me being more mature and not fitting in with the beer drinking, farting dudes who think women are toys and so on. And maybe that's just it. But now I've learned that there could be something more to me, something that explains why I strugle day to day with so much and why I have so many questions. So if anyone has any input or advice I would greatly appreciate it.

Thanks for taking the time to read this. There is more, but I think you get the jist.

Goodness, there is no need to freak out. It's kind of eye opening, isn't it, to discover that you're simply not just inexplicably weird, that there are others out there who have similar experiences? Be comforted and breathe a sigh of relief rather than be freaked out.

From what you describe about yourself, I think most here would say that it certainly sounds quite possible (if not probable) that you are on the spectrum. Things like sensitivity to sunlight, predominantly logical thinking, trouble sleeping, difficulty with appropriate social response, not fitting in with peers your own age, and preference for individualistic sports are quite common (though there is no hard-and-fast rule for any of this). You've listed other traits that are quite common as well, but those are the ones that stuck out for me.

Anyways, you are most welcome here, regardless of your neurology.

Could you do the AQ Test and/or Aspie Quiz post your score?

Hello Adonis,

Yes, it sounds like you may be an Aspie.

I would like to offer a word or two of caution though. I totally freaked out when I discovered Asperger’s too. I did tons of analysis of my past. By the time I saw a professional to start the assessment process I just had so much information to convey.

The issue is that when you walk into a mental health professional’s office and start spewing tons and tons of information about events that would normally be attached to deep emotions without physically displaying any emotion, they may mislabel you at first. This can lead to being prescribed inappropriate medications that may make things worse. I am also very sensitive to bright lights. The mood stabilizers that were prescribed to me because the first doctor thought I was bi-polar made my sensitivity worse. Sunlight made my eyes tear up and hallways lit with florescent lights vibrated.

Bi-polar disorder, schizoaffective disorder, and PTSD may be the first things the mental health provider thinks of if you go in and just start blasting them with information. Do your best to remain collected when and if you go to see someone about Asperger’s. Be sure to go to someone that is experienced with Asperger’s.

You also mentioned sleep issues in your post. I’ve always had those too. When I was going though my “OMG I have this” stage, my sleep issues got worse. I was only able to sleep for about 2 hours a night. After 3 weeks of this, I was a mess. Lack of sleep plus too much self analysis can be bad. Try to make sure you are getting enough sleep.

If you decide to seek a diagnosis, prepare to be patient. It will take a long time. Some good books to read while you wait are “Look me in the eyes” by John Elder Robinson and “The complete guide to Asperger’s Syndrome” by Tony Attwood.

I hope that’s helpful.

Josh

You can always talk to a specialist and see what they say about your voice. A voice that is different than the norm, in some way, or a lack of expression in the face can mean AS, but not these alone.

The rest of what you posted, it's hard to say. Generally, with AS, they look for someone who has a history of social awkwardness, loneliness, wanting to do their own thing instead of being with others; ie: if you spend the weekend doing something you want to do instead of partying and being with others. Usually, there's a narrow interest of some kind. There's also active phases of AS and phases that seem inactive, where the individual isn't as bothered by it so much. You are more likely to be diagnosed during an "active" phase because they want to see some kind of impairment before they diagnose.

You'd have to consult with a specialist to be sure.

You sound like an aspie to me. I'm no doctor, but it seems to click together with all those aspie traits you rattled out in that post. WELCOME TO WRONGPLANET.NET!

Oh, I almost forgot to mention this. You will find the 'You Might Be An Aspie If...' thread in the general autism discussion forum quite entertaining and funny if you are indeed aspie-tastic.

Is this true? I haven't noticed this information anywhere, and I don't think it's true of myself.

Social awkwardness yes, wanting to do their own things instead of being with others... not necessarily. I think that's particularly untrue of the extraverted Aspie. John Elder Robison points this out in his book Look Me in the Eye (which, by the way, is a very good firsthand account of growing up and living with AS). He says that everyone seems to think that those with Asperger's prefer to be by themselves. He said that wasn't true for him at all. He desperately wanted to fit in but couldn't figure out how. Those that are like this often describe themselves as "on the outside looking in" of social situations, wishing they were on the inside. I know the feeling well.

I think it's the norm, wanting to be social, the exception. The problem is, we want to "do our own thing" but society says, "no, no, no! Your own thing isn't that much in demand We want you to have an expressive smile, never look like you're scowling and have hi how are you and you mom and your dad and your brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, cousins and neighbors doing?" down pat and said without exception otherwise we are being inconsiderate. No lie, that is what is expected where I live. This deep concern for everyone and all who they know.
Maybe if I were appreciated for doing my own thing I would want to inquire how everyone else is doing. It's not that I don't care. It just feels like I am being backed into a corner and who I am and what I like doesn't matter and you simply MUST do the NT Two Step without missing a step. It's like a dance contest that I don't want to enter in the first place but it's mandatory.
I think there is an active and inactive phase. I saw a really great documentary on the Science channel the other night about a man named Daniel who has a mathematical gift, can do pi in his head and loves prime numbers. It said in this documentary that he isn't "autistic" at the moment because he isn't exhibiting any signs he is autistic. He is doing the NT two step in perfect time with the music. Of course, I understand we are all autistics all the time, but, NTs aren't comfortable with this. They want to be able to "see" an impairment. In this documentary, they said that Daniel wasn't diagnosed "autistic" at the time because he wasn't exhibiting any of his autistic traits. He was behaving like an NT with savantlike skills in mathematics and languages. He went to Iceland and learned the language in a week.
These aren't my opinions, just what I notice about others. Sp please, don't accuse me of saying that autistics are only autistic during the "active" phase. It does seem to be what some people believe.

sounds like you're a pretty typical guy, maybe a little shy/socially awkward/whatever. lots of neurotypical people have at least some of the traits you mentioned, myself included.

You will not know until you seek professional advice. Asking people here (alot of who are poorly self-diagnosed misfits looking for somewhere to fit in) is pointless, this condition is like a club to them.

If you have serious self-concern, seek PROFESSIONAL help, self-diagnosis is pointless as are online tests.

I have yet to run across these mythical "poorly self-diagnosed misfits looking for somewhere to fit in" here on Wrong Planet. By the sound of it, you'd think they have their own forum! However, there are plenty of people (such as ShogunSalute) who believe in an artificially narrow definition of AS, and likewise believe that everyone who doesn't fit this description of AS are simply posers looking to fit in. Many of those who self-diagnose go on to get professionally diagnosed. So either the definition is broader or all of the professionals are wrong, too.

A professional opinion can, however, certainly be an excellent, unbiased opinion. If you're having trouble with life and think you need some outside help, by all means you should seek a professional opinion. If not, I'd just save your money, make yourself welcome here if you want to stay, and ignore folks like this.

There is such a myriad of traits of people on the spectrum, some are good at math, some bad, some social, some not...etc. I could never hit a baseball and I'm NT (of course I never practiced, just played in school when I had to) and I'm good at math, but I also had to work hard and study at things. My stepson has NVLD and it is like AS except they really want to be social. What I am saying is, your traits could be AS, maybe you share traits but it's not enough - you need to see, I think, either a psychiatrist or a neuropsychologist, not sure, for a diagnosis but I think it would be worth it.

Gosh, when you mentioned alphabetizing of things and cleaning, I thought of my husband! I think he's NT because he doesn't fit all the criteria of AS (I've checked) but who knows! Was he a geeky brainiac in school? Yes, by all means, but I don't think makes you AS, I think there is more criteria. Good luck!

Well it does sound like you have Asperger's but i have to say this post to me is awesome! My son is 7 years old and has Asperger's. Problem is, his Aspie traits are dead on, the traits he doesn't have are not even close to Asperger's. When you just explained all the things you have done as a possible Aspie (like being in the military) that just makes my day. I know he's only seven but my son's place on the spectrum (i guess you would call it) sounds alot like you. Thank You!

Thanks so much for all your great replies. I've been very busy at home. You all had great points.

Sounds to me very likely you are Aspie

Welcome to Wrong Planet BTW