Do you think about things you did in the past alot?

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I have a problem with looking back at all the things that I did to make myself look stupid. This year i've made alot of mistakes and im paying for it right now. It's like I can't erase it from my mind. Yall ever heard of the saying "guys think about having sex every 5 minutes". Well that's kind of similar to my situation. It's driving me crazy. Do you all have this same habit.

there is not a minute that passes by without me reflecting on some injustice done to me or faux pas in my past

I do NOT let go

It's hard to get over some things especially when it's hard to overcome it by having aspergers like finding a girl or keeping a job.

I used to spend 95% of my time either worrying about the future or regretting the past. I'm much different because of some books I read and some counseling. It now takes me less time to get over something. When you think about it it truly is a waste of energy. I understand because I was very much the same, mostly reliving past humiliations. I don't know if you are resistant to spiritually based books but Seat of the Soul by Gary Zukav was helpful. He also wrote Dancing Wu Li Masters explaining quantum mechanics to the non scientific among us. It's just his take on things but he has some valuable insights.

Not really. On occasion I get stuck thinking about stupid things I did in the past (like checking myself into the psych hospital, I didn't know it would be taking two years and counting ), but it's not like I'm always thinkign "if only I'd done that differently" or the like.

I do occasionally.

Yup, very often, not sure about frequency but I still worry about things I said in childhood and adolescence (I'm 29 now). Worry is my modus operandi. I just can't stop.

Yes, constantly. It's the main reason I'm on meds.

Constantly. Unless I'm really busy with some other stuff.
I try to think in advance of whatever may happen in the future, too.

Interesting theme, thanks for bringing this on

Yes I have a problem with this, its like my ghost is constantly chasing me. I have difficulties to deal with my past and some issues I wish I could erase from my mind

I tend to obsess on things I've done when I'm trying to figure something out, like, a social failure of some kind. Most of the time I am confronted by people acting stupid or strange and I don't know how to handle it. That's my number one problem. How to handle these tense situations that, generally, piss me off. I have no idea to make them into better situations, or, if it's possible. Nowadays I consider them people wanting attention for whatever reason, so I completely ignore anything that ressembles harrassment. I experienced one of these situations the other day and I acted like it didn't bother and got away as quick as possible. I will be happy when I forget that incident, it goes to the back of my mind and I don't have a compulsive need to mention it because it's so ridiculous, it's meaningless.

Power of things to come topic

The future kicks ass. Let it knock out the past and toss it overboard for a burial at sea.

I have this problem too

I have this problem and it used to be very debilitating. I remember embarrassing moments back in kindergarten. Coming into present day (I'm 30 now), these flashes of memory became more violent and it started to develop into what appeared to be tourettes syndrome. I would have ticks, say things under breath, smack my head or other things to stomp or short circuit the memory.

Walking towards a solution

After a while, I got tired of this and discovered something rather interesting. For people who have limited memory, like progressive amnesia, they cannot remember the past and as a consequence, their future is limited as well. They cannot plan or think into the future. They are constantly fixed in the present.

I found 2 quotes that comfort me.

and



At the height of the problem, I found these quoted comforting. Whenever I had one of these episodes, I recited these either aloud or in my head. The outbreaks were less and it seemed to work. I don't know what type of therapy this is called, but I got the idea from reading about REBT and CBT.

Neurological reasons

Reading about, I discovered that our emotions are extremely important. Most of the parts that control emotions are deep in the brain. Hippocampus and amygdala and others. What's interesting is that these emotions are what helps us filter our minds.

We are not conscious of all the information our senses take in. To do so would be maddening. Instead, the filtering takes place via our emotions. Anything that we have an emotional response to, we tend to remember. If we aren't emotionally aware of it, we don't care about it. Advanced artificial intelligence is becoming aware of this process in our brains.

Also, neurons that fire together, wire together. This means that different people will see the same situation differently, depending on how their emotions are acting upon it. This is why positive people tend to be more attrative because it engages our dopamine circuitry, it feels good. But when we remember these embarrassing pasts, we reinforce the wiring to bad emotions. Then the circuitry is reinforced with other neurons and, as in my case, develop into bad physical responses.

This is also now long term memory works. We remember those things that we are emotional to. Objectively, you can check your pupil dialation when seeing things as well as galvanic skin responses for when we think of things.

When I started to recite the positive quotes when these embarrassing pasts shoot into the present, I was really weakening the brain circuitry that would remember and evoke the bad emotions. By replacing it with positive stimuli, I was really changing my mind about the past. I later found out about neuroplasticity and neurogenesis. And it makes sense with how the positive thinking works, the luck factor and with meditation.


Bringing it together
Now that I know these things, I can begin to rewire my own brain without the use of brain implants (and they do exist today) and without drugs (except multivitamins). It's a long process but it's well worth it. Of course, when I started out, being positive is actually a chore. It's uncomfortable and unnatural for me. After many repetitions (habituation), it started to become a habit and then second nature. I do falter from time to time, but for the most part it works. Having a good diet, water, exercise, and variety of experiences all helps this process along.

I asked myself, "What would it take to be happy". What I explained here is part of that answer.

+1

Some things helped me to stop doing this by leaps and bounds.

1. I went to a therapist who told me about "emotional memory" vs. "intellectual memory." Intellectual memory can fade over time very quickly. Emotional memory "imprints" with vivid detail and come back with perfect clarity if something triggers a given emotion. The only way to deal with emotional memories is to find "closure" which he explained as coming to a place where you can find resolution with the emotional pain that keeps resurfacing. Once I learned that, I started trying to find an emotional "closure" to the pains brought back up over past blunders. Often, this was just accepting that what is done is done, over 99.999% of people I meet don't know about those mistakes and couldn't care less, and that dwelling on something I can't change isn't adding to my life...rather it is taking from it.

2. I've forced myself to be more "balanced" over my screw ups. There is a time to regret, feel bad, analyze to figure out where I messed up and how I can avoid it in the future. After that, dwelling and revisiting it only hurts me. So, I try not let myself get side tracked onto thinking about it. It's not worked 100% of the time, but I've gotten better.

Yes, all the time. I'm an easily embarrassed person, so that only makes things harder.

I definitely do this. One example that immediately comes to mind is a girl I talked to at a couple parties who clearly (now that I know the signs) didn't want to talk to me at all. Every time I think about this, I feel completely stupid and embarrassed for not picking up on the signals, even though that makes as much sense for being embarrassed for not understanding Chinese. It's the only time I have any vocal tics; I will hunch forward, rock, and cuss under my breath. Every time I try to gauge someone's impression of me, I think back on her, and every time it brings the same feeling.