Is this Empathy or Sympathy

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A few years ago I was on a "Team Building" day out with work. We ended up in a bar that night and after a few drinks I got talking to one of the guys in my team. He asked the classic "How come your so quiet?". Normally I react in disgust to this question and usually respond "Why do you never shut up?" etc.. but in this case I was tired after the day we'd had and was getting drunk so I told him I had problems with communication. We ended up having an interesting conversation about psychology and he told me he was adopted. He eventually told me that the adoption happened because he had been born as the result of a rape. I was speechless after he told me this, I had no idea what to say back and we were then interrupted by other people who sat at our table. The matter was never addressed again the rest of the night.

The next day we were in work all nursing hangovers, I said to the team at one point that I couldn't remember much of what happened the night before blaming the alcohol and how tired I was after the team building day. I did this to excuse anything I may have done/said that was weird during the night. The person in question then said "Thank god for that" and seemed visibly distressed. I suddenly remembered what he had told me and I felt glad I'd said that I couldn't remember anything because it made him feel better as he was clearly upset about what he had told me.

Did I display Empathy or Sympathy here and would anyone else have felt any differently than I did over this incident?

I'm not sure.

my husband and I recently discussed empathy/sympathy/compassion and looked up definitions to get a better idea, because we felt that sometimes people misuse the words.

this is what we came up with (definitions that make sense to our AS minds):

empathy: the ability to feel what someone else does (doesn't mean you do, it means you can).
sympathy: feeling what someone else does (like being in tune with them emotionally).
compassion: a desire to take action to alleviate the cause or symptoms of another person's distress.

I never considered compassion in the same space as the other two. I don't think I was compassionate as I said I couldn't remember much of the night for my own selfish reasons. To hopefully explain anything odd I did that night. I didn't know that he would be upset about what he told me until I heard him say "Thank god for that" and saw a clear look of distress on his face.

I can't put myself in his position as I've no idea how someone adopted as a result of a rape would feel. Would he be worried that I'd think he might be a rapist because he has a genetic connection to one.

No, but I think we've all been guilty of over-sharing from time to time and then wished we could take it all back. I would feel sympathetic for him in that way.

He might be worried that you would feel sorry for him for his beginnings and treat him differently. Most people don't like to be pitied.

I dunno. you felt glad you hadn't said anything after you realized his feelings. that sounds like compassion. you could have said "oh yeah, I remember now" and made him feel worse

of course if you're not the offspring of a rape there is no way to understand all the feelings that come from dealing with that, but most of us can still empathize with the feeling of distress over revealing something private and not being sure how others will look at you.