On my own again: The culmination of AS discovery

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I'll do a backstory here, and then get to the point...

I currently live in a house with my son and his mother. She and I never really had a solid relationship, but we did have a child. We've been living together in a state of perpetual stress and conflict, and we never exactly knew why for the 5 years we've known each other.

I discovered that I had AS last December, shortly before joining this site.
Suddenly, everything made sense. My son's mother and I gradually deconstructed all of our problems in the new light of understanding. And then we realized that there were some fundamental obstacles there at the core... Irreconcilable differences in how our brains worked, and how we conducted our lives. The truth of AS finally explained the root of our difficulties and, in a sense, gave us clearance. Almost like a permission to go our separate ways. It wasn't just stupid personality conflicts after all. Realizing that there wasn't anything we could do about my neurology created a feeling of freedom. We were free to move on.

That was 10 months ago. I'm still here. We have "moved on" in the sense that we always know the reason why when there are total misunderstandings between us. We no longer try to a perpetuate a relationship that will never work. We've just been trying to figure out the practical end of me moving out.

That is happening now. Things are starting to fall apart. Her family, which had previously thought I was great and could do no wrong, are starting to realize the problems I have, and how much hurt I've caused her. They're starting to want me gone just like she wants me gone.
I'm looking at apartments, and planning for my move. Probably in a month or two is when I'll go.

I'm scared at the massive change that this will mean.
But I'm excited, because I will get to live my own life again.
I feel like this is the next long phase of my life beginning.

What I would like is any words of wisdom that you may have.
Some of you who I know have been in similar situations.
I suppose I'm just desperate for feeling understood.

Sorry for dragging this out.
Thanks for reading all of this and any comments and advice you may have.

You mentioned being excited about having an independent life. That is a positive amongst what sounds like a negative. My philosophy when dealing with challenging situations in my life has become this: If you can identify even one positive in an otherwise negative context, then you have that positive to hold onto and help you through your troubles. I don't mean as a pretence, or as a sort of prayer, but as an existing hope. I find that as the negatives dissipate with time, your positives will grow stronger and new ones will appear as you maintain an outlook befitting of your goals and ideals.

The only thing I can say is...that's so unfair. It's just a tag. And much more in that case, where you (any of you) are starting to recognize the problem and to work after the new perspective. Before you where at the top of their consideration, wich was possibly not correct, and now you are on the bottom, which is even less correct.
Unfairness exists everywhere and also on every side.
Fortunately you are valiant enough for going on and focus on your life, instead of regretting the past.

Don't forget your son.

Sure it's scary, but the end result, being alone, you will love.

Good luck!

You are very right. And in my situation, everyone involved is guilty of some kind of injustice. We've reached a point where no one feels that trying to reconcile and compromise would be productive anymore. It's gone too far, and the only positive thing to do is to focus on life ahead.

That goes without saying for me. Which is why I didn't mention it, I guess. He is the most important person in this situation, and his well-being is my foremost concern. I know that it will confuse him at first; why I'm not living in the only house he's ever known. But based on experience, I also know that he will benefit from focused one-on-one time with either me or with his mother, and that he really does not need to see us fight and argue and constantly misunderstand each other.

Thanks for your reply.

Best of luck for all of you.
Because, even if everybody agrees on the separation and the modalities of after-separation, it's still a rough time to go through.
And it can take some times for things to settle down.