Being Forced To Go To A Support Group

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I can't see how it'd work, nor the reasoning behind it.
"Ok! We'll get a bunch of people who have social difficulties and social anxieties to talk to eachother face-to-face about a private matter such as their disability!"
It sounds like one great big, hour long awkward silence...

Does anyone go to these things, and do they work? I don't want long-term friendship, I don't particularly want to talk or be talked at, but I'm being forced, so yay...

Never been to a support therapy group before, though I've been recommended to go to one for AS-NT couples. I've said that I don't mind giving it a go, but that I don't expect anything much would come of it - I don't like the idea of being expected to open up to a group of strangers. I guess it depends on whether or not the leader turned out to be on a guru trip, and how closely my problems resembled those of the rest of the group.

I don't understand why anybody should try to force anybody to go to anything like that. I think if you don't see any point in going, you probably won't get anything out of it.

I go to one every other week.

You will probably be asked to introduce yourself. Past that, you can probably sit back and just listen. If the group is lead by a counselor, the counselor will come up with conversation topics to avoid wasting peoples time going to a meeting and not talking.

The experience may help put some things into perspective for you. It gave me a better understanding of the “spectrum”. There are several in my group that are lower functioning than I am, but I can still relate to them. When you see people that have a tougher time than you, but work through their difficulties regardless, it helps you understand that you CAN do things you think you can’t.

At least that’s been my experience.

I hope it turns out to be a pleasant experience. I go on purpose, but I can see where someone else might be reluctant. In our group, we mostly listen to the AS leader explain how the world works to us.

My wife and I have joined a parent support group for our autistic son. It is voluntary. We've been to one meeting so far and I had no problems with it, though my wife did the introducing of us to the group since it was our first time there---I have Asperger's and I don't particulary like to open up to people. I know one of the parents there, and my wife knows another---so we feel pretty comfortable with it. But, if we didn't know anyone there, I think I would find it very awkward at first. But still, I can see benefits behind a support group so long as they don't try to push their beliefs on you. This support group works with the parents talking with each other on what things work well with our children, and what doesn't.

Our son has a lot of meltdowns, sensory issues, and misreading of people. And he takes things literally. The other morning we were getting the kids ready for school and we misplaced something. I said, "It's hard to tell where it's at, we only have 500 rooms in this house." Our son took off through the house and came back a couple minutes later and said, "Uh, I just counted and we only have 12 rooms in our house." Anyway, back on topic, I would give the support group a try and remember that when support is offered, people generally mean well in giving it. But at the same time, what works for one may not work for another. You know the saying, "You've met one person with autism, you've met one person with autism."

When we took our one son (we have two boys) to the child psychiatrist/clinic, the psychiatrist said after the intense thorough screening, "I am diagnosing your son with Asperger's...I don't recommend any medications at this time, but you might want to attend a support group in your area." We left relieved and not surprised---it was so obvious he his under the spectrum. Even before the official diagnosis (in order that he can get an IEP at school) the school had used him as the district's representative autistic student model for an autism conference in the region.

The nice thing about our support group is that the children get to come too. The meetings are held in the public library, so the kids get to check out some books before they come into the meeting room. One boy was intently flapping away, then my son started rocking back in the chair, and then had a skyscraper started out of books---and everyone just smiles and goes on about the meeting. It is a very nice environment. But as I said, I have only attended one meeting so far. Some support groups, like ours, often offer special things like going to the movies where they turn the volume to a reasonable level for us with noise sensitivity. That is real nice---special viewing of movies just for us and our children.

So before you get too negative a feel about the support group, try to be open-minded about it and see what it has to offer. It might be fun. Good luck.

C'mon. That won't work. You need to want to go. Otherwise you'll just sit there, you won't participate, and you'll be miserable.

Tell your overlords that you will go on your own, when you are ready. If you don't want to confront them, write them a note or send an e-mail.

15, so yep, a minor.

I'll give it a go, but I'll just put some selective mutism in to effect.

'I'll try it out.'

I recommend saying that to your parents. Specifically, try not to get into an argument or debate with your parents (or additional arguments or debates).

'I will try it out. That's all I can do, and that will just have to be good enough.'

Patiently say that if your parents try to push for more. This is not a cool situation. Your goal is to use your skills to make the best of it.

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At the group:

'I have been asked to attend by my parents and speech therapist.'

Or put it in stronger terms, your choice. Once there, you can freely participate how you choose.

What I recommend is that you hold back somewhat and under-participate. Keep your introduction, if any, on the brief side and mainly just listen. Watch and see how it goes. One exception is that you might want to be prepared to stand up for someone else if you observe that person unduly pressured or bullied.

'Hey, we do not all have to believe the same thing. We do not all have to feel the same thing. Right?'

Said with confidence, that can make a difference.

The QUALITY of a support group VARIES WIDELY. A lot depends on the skill and experience of the leader. (like ToughDiamond said above, if the leader is on a guru trip, that usually doesn't work out. Such a leader is more interested in "being right" than in helping people. You want a leader more in the coach model, where he or she draws forth the strength of the members.)

You do not have to go back a second time. And if it turns out lousy, you can even say 'Excuse me' and walk out of the room.

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If you haven't written to your grandparents, your uncle(s), your aunt(s) in a while, you might want to consider doing so.

This is awkward, this is difficult. But, but you might need more family resources.

You specifically need family members who understand that You are You! That it's okay to be different. That You are Uniquely Yourself as a Human Being on This Earth, and That is Perfectly Fine!

And that you are trying your best during your teenage years according to your own lights.

If you can, tell other family members some of what's going on. I recommend the method of measured disclosure. That is, tell them a medium amount, and then, depending on their reaction, you might tell them more.

If you can, and trust your gut instincts (your immediate emotional reaction), say first to your Mom and/or Dad, 'I haven't written to ________ for a while. I think I need to. And a little bit, I think I need to tell her some about this support group situation.'

If you feel you can't tell your parents, don't tell them.

You do not need to allow yourself to get isolated. There is no rule to that effect. You can reach out when and where it feels promising to you, even if it also feels low probability. Just don't invest too much in it (and that brings us back to the method of measured disclosure).

Your goal is to stand up for yourself, and also take the high road as much as you realistically can.

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And please do not let this negative situation keep you from pursuing other positives in other aspects of your life.