Help!! !
My childhood best friend is coming to town and wants to hang out. I haven't seen her since I was really young so the whole asperger's thing wasn't all that noticeable. Now that we're 27, I don't want to hang with her because I'm nervous about not being able to act grown up or being able to identify/empathize/sympathize about the things she's interested in now (she's getting married too). Any books, websites, tips on adult conversation?
I would say just try to be yourself. Ask her questions about herself and what she has been doing since you saw her last. Ask her about her wedding plans. Talk about past experiences you had together as in "Remember the time we did such and such" or something like that. She will probably ask you similar questions about what you have been doing since she last saw you. Try not to spend too much time talking about special interests unless she shows an interest in your subject. If she's interested she will ask you questions about it. If not, she'll just sit there with out saying anything or responding to what you say. But mostly, just try to be yourself and enjoy your visit together.
Maybe just ask her questions about herself.... Her life where she is living.. what she does, her interests, how she met her bloke etc. Where she'll live when she's married, What her bloke is like etc.
You could possibly tell her what you are doing in your life . If things get really awkward tell her you are not all that great in social situations as you're a private sort of person " so don't take it personally if I seem quiet or aloof" By doing this sort of thing you can demonstrate some interest in her life and also relate where you are at in life.... she might appreciate your honesty. If it comes to it you might just have a reminisce session about your childhood times together....these sort of things are not supposed to be anything more than just remembering stuff at random that you did together. I was confronted with a similar situation some time ago... but the reason we met up was that a mutual childhood neighbour was dying of AIDS.
We just talked about the past..... no logical progression, just snippets and looked at photos of that era.
For a short period of time this type of stuff can get you by but it isn't much help if she wants to live in your town and resume a friendship.... deal with that when/if it happens.... most people live a "couple" life when they are married so it mightn't be a problem.
It is acceptable that people change and go their own ways as they get older!
just noticed Cosmicat's post..... much the same and she has given a clearer picture of handling your meeting.