feeling like lying when approximation

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Does this happen to any of you? I can say things like 'It's about 2:00" when it's two minutes before or after 2:00. But NTS seem to be able to say about and is and mean the same thing. If I say it's 2:00 and realize it's two minutes before it, I feel like I've lied. This happens with other things but I needed an example to phrase it.

And NTs seem to be able to say they never do something when they have done it. It might be years ago and so long ago that they think it's the same as saying they never do it. I can't. If I've done it once, even accidentally, I phrase it as "I don't do...whatever it is.

Yes, I definitely do the same kinds of things ... and I even catch myself and have to refrain from saying something like "Well, I have always (or never) thought (one thing or another)" when in fact I might have only even first heard the issue or question just a few years ago. Driven, compelled or whatever, I "always"(!) try to be as absolutely accurate as possible. And along with that, I do not recall ever having a truly original thought, and I am inclined to let people know I am no more interested in my own opinion than in anyone else's. For myself, facts are much less troubling.

I have come to realize lots of folks don't have the instant recall memory of if they had done it before or not, and that it really does not matter to them if it is two minutes to 2 or two minutes after.

I used to get so upset if I told someone something and they didn't remember it exactly as I told it to them. I thought they were being disrespectful. They just didn't have the memory, nor the backstory nor the inclination to remember it as I had told it to them. I had to see it was only important to me, and not to them.

so now I just deal with it within myself and let them slide.

Merle

sinsboldly wrote:

My mother does that to me and it drives me crazy. One thing in particular -She asked me once how to approach modern art. I said-"Well, first of all ask yourself if you think it's interesting"Now she tells people I gave her a great line when she doesn't know what to say about a piece." My, how interesting ! !

Anyway, I am very aware of misrepresentation both intentional and unintentional. I think maybe it just upsets my sense of balance or "rightness".

arrgh, I would have pulled my hair out on that one, too! To change it from asking herself her actual opinion on the subject, to just passing caring about the whole subject altogether!

For me, it feels like lying when I say "I don't know" when I don't feel like giving an explanation that is exact enough for something that really requires a couple hours to properly assemble and explain, and quick answers won't really do.

I feel like that too, and try to give as exact answers as possible. As far as time is concerned, I say the exact time my watch says (except if I purposely have it fast so as to avoid being late, since I tend to wait until the last second to leave my house some days. Right now it's correct though, since my new watch came with the correct time on it). If it's 2:02, I say 2:02, because 2:02 is not 2:00.

I guess I didn't need to post what's in parentheses, but I guess that does support your theory. I couldn't say that I always say the exact time my watch says, since if I know my watch is wrong, I do the math to give a correct answer. And if I didn't elaborate that the watch I have now is correct, you might think that it's on the wrong time. Even though no one actually cares. And by time I'd get done with the explanation it would be about 2:05 in the example. Even though it's actually 12:41 right now.

Then there is trying to figure out when I accidentally liked (wrong) or when I just approximated (right in NT's eyes). When do I tell them I was wrong and the guilt is appropriate and when did I just approximate and it feels like lying because of my AS?

Approximating may feel like lying but Nts don't consider it to be (I am one) and would be baffled at a confession that you approximated. Approximation is the NT norm and precision is used only for those times that it is really needed in order to avoid a problem. There is nothing wrong with being precise, but in dealing with NTs it isn't at all necessary and will sometimes be met with annoyance if the effort to be precise slows down communication.

I just reread my message and realized how little sense part of it made. Glad you know what I mean.