I would like some input from other people.

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Hello, I am a 22 year old university student and I have recently been reading about ASDs. I would like the opinions of some other people. I have not been medically diagnosed with an ASD, but I feel like I have always displayed many of the symptoms I read about. I never really thought anything was strange about me, but I feel more strange as I learn more about other people.

1. I have always preferred solitary activities even since childhood.
2. I will often pick activities that I can do for hours and hours at a time. I taught myself HTML when I was 9 or 10 by looking at websites and studying the code. I really enjoy things like that even now.
3. I rarely look people in the eye. Whenever I do, I am forcing myself. I am aware and anxious about it the whole time.
4. I have been in college for four years and have not made a good friend. I don't really desire friends.
5. I have been dating a girl for seven years and we have lived together for two years. She seems to be all of the company that I want. She has friends she often hangs out with, but I have never even met most of them. I usually stay in my apartment and entertain myself with by writing music or playing video games.
6. I can be very talkative with people I know very well, but I often find myself fumbling all over the place if a stranger catches me off guard and tries to engage me in conversation.
7. I absolutely despise group assignments. I love assignments that challenge my own brain. I have always done very well in school, but I do not put any effort into it unless I really enjoy the subject matter. I very much despise wrote memorization; all of my bad grades have been due to my inability to find a reason for memorizing facts.
8. I have held several jobs that involve constant customer interaction and have never had problems. With that being said, interactions with people have always been the most taxing part of work for me. I have also been denied positions because of personality tests that reveal my isolated nature.
9. My eyes often water or blink constantly when I am in a supermarket full of people. I can be pretty sensitive to sound also.
10. I have always had only close friends. I am still very close with 2 or 3 people from high school. I never participated in social events like the prom even though all my friends did.
11. I really don't like being put on the spot. My brain seems to shut off completely if someone asks the wrong question at the wrong time. I really like to have long periods of time to ponder problems and questions on my own.

I have read that people with ASDs often have trouble with humor and sarcasm, but I find most types of humor to be the most enriching things in my life.
I also have read that people with an ASD desire personal interaction, but I don't really know if I do.
I really don't know if I have trouble understanding people or if I am just extremely introverted.
I almost feel like a misanthrope, but not quite as extreme. I do not wish bad things for people and I have never been violent towards people.
I guess I just feel distant from everyone else. I feel kind of like I am watching everyone but not participating. This hasn't ever bothered me much, but there is something about me that wants to know why.

I guess my big question is if I would get a medical opinion, how could this help me?
If I do get diagnosed, what will the doctors want to do with me?

Thanks in advance for your thoughts and opinions.

Well, what I've grasped from my studies of it in the past year, hardly expert, though I'm a fast learner...

It's a spectrum, not a set group of traits.

I don't have some of them as much as others, I have some to an extreme level.


I'm not sure either what the benefits of diagnosis are, but being aware of what AS is can help you understand yourself a bit easier, but most importantly it can help you understand people without it.


Took me YEARS to figure out how to deal with people, and even then I basically just force the situation into my control, or flirt. No clue how to really socialize, so I fake it!

Hi & welcome! Certainly could be AS - may also be other explanations!

Your description could be explained by other things such as introversion. The diagnosis is made when there are enough ASD traits present, when the traits were present in childhood, and when there is impairment in important areas of functioning. Diagnosis is usually sought for self-knowledge and/or support with functioning.

Autistic neurology would explain every item on your list. Rather compelling, I would say.

Getting formally diagnosed with a mental disorder (yes, that is what formal diagnosis currently is!!) can be of considerable benefit to those needing accommodations in school, or government support. I suppose in some cases it might also ease misunderstandings within families. Diagnosis might also help in a small number of employment situations, but I would posit that unfortunately, overall, formal diagnosis could well be harmful to one's career.

If you don't require/want accommodations or support, an option is to read up on AS so that you better understand yourself, and move on and enjoy your life. In my opinion you are not strange, but special, a lone wolf perhaps.

And WELCOME TO WP!

Hey tinypaperhat and Welcome to Wrongplanet

Not all the time that people with ASD have trouble with humour and sarcism, i'm a funny person without even realising it in humour wise and I do enjoy that and I do laugh at some of the humour, but not all of them... Makes me wonder, does this also occur to someone who has HFA aswell?



When I was diagnosed with high functioning autism, i haven't got aspergers as i recently found out, they didn't put me on any medicine and the medicine option might not always be available or they might not work as well as you thought it should do, also to be aware of the side effects on the other hand.

I was doing all these tests and having constant appointments to a see a therpist (don't even know how to spell the word) about my autism and it seemed like a pain to me, but then I was a child back then and I was transferred to another school.

^^Above, you might not be doing that because I have no idea what they would do to you if you was an adult being diagnosed but I would of assumed you won't be doing as much as I was doing to get far?

I can really relate to this.


Same here. I understand humor on television and on the internet just fine. Where I get tripped up is in social situations where there's a lot of fast paced banter. I also don't spontaneously laugh at typical banter and jokes made in social settings. I often have to fake a smile at jokes to appear polite. Either I don't get the joke or more often I just don't find it funny.


Same here. I find "mingling" and small-talk incredibly boring for the most part. However I enjoy doing things with people. I also enjoy more in-depth personal discussions.


I can relate to all of this.


I'm not an expert on the whole diagnosis process since I was diagnosed with an ASD back when I was 4 years old. Other people who were diagnosed as teenagers/adults may be more help to you.

As for usefulness I have used my diagnosis to get accommodations in college. I was able to obtain a private dorm since being with a room mate at all times would probably drive my to commit a homicidal act.


You're welcome. Welcome to WP!

A doctor would do nothing to you. There are no medications for AS. There are medications for the common co-morbids, ie depression, ADHD.
Sounds like a good girlfriend who doesn't need you as an arm ornament or to fill in all her emotional needy places.
You should find some of the articles here fascinating. I am in a more peaceful place now that I understand why eye gaze was so painful in my early years, and why other people subconsciously get uneasy around me and finally call me weird when I am not.

Hello, tinypaperhat. Welcome to WP!

Many things you describe about yourself ring true for me as well, particularly:

Also, I very much relate to this:

I actually do like people quite a bit, but I've found that they are people within my boundary, my comfort zone, my subculture. In those situations, I'm actually quite extroverted when I'm really comfortable. I feel very distant from the rest of society, but since I was little I've been okay with that.

I am first and foremost a musician. I can make small talk, I can socialize within my comfort zone and do a decent enough job at it... but at the end of the day, I would rather sit down and play tunes for hours and hours and not have to say a whole lot. I feel a bit like a penguin sometimes, waddling around in conversations, but when you get me in my true comfort zone (music), I'm extremely graceful.

I hadn't really ever explored reasons for me being a bit different than most folks. I accepted it to be true and, much like you, never let it bother me. Then I discovered WP and learned some of those reasons. I have to admit... it rocked my world for a few months.

I had the same reaction! I'm 33, and I was officially diagnosed only a few months ago although I had suspected I had AS for a while before that. It took me a while to find WP and during that time I felt confused. I thought I was a freak, as I come from an entirely NT family. I'd thought having a diagnosis would make me feel better, but I felt worse. I'm still of two minds about it. Some days, I would give anything to be neurotypical. I envy how easily things come to my brother and my husband, and wish I was like them. However, as I get used to this diagnosis, my mind has changed. Finding WP, which I read for a while before registering, has helped. As I read the posts here (including yours) I find myself nodding, smiling, even saying, "Yes!" as I come across others who feel and react and think the way I do. I feel like I finally found a group of people I identify with, who might understand me in a way my NT loved ones can't. I'm not ashamed of having AS...and if people do not like how unique (or weird or eccentric or whatever) I am, they do not have to associate with me. I do find that when people give me a chance, they usually like me.

In most jobs, unless you need an accomodation, I don't think you should tell anyone you have AS or HFA (I'm sure others disagree and have good reasons). For you, I'm not sure it would make a difference, and it could even hurt. A lot of people don't understand what AS is, or assume all of us on the spectrum are the same and discriminate. (I'd venture that NONE of us are exactly the same.) There are also many jobs you can do from home -- bill collecting, for example, or technical writing. In those, your desire to be solitary would be a benefit! However, if you are working closely with a supervisor in what you plan on for a serious career -- for example, as a Student Teacher -- it makes sense to tell that supervisor. A teacher (among many others) is trained to notice these things; when I told my host teacher, she simply said, "I know, and I wish you had told me that from the beginning." If you go into music, I think you could probably tell people -- you might be surprised at how many of them share your traits or even have a diagnosis! Music and math are closely related, and many people with AS/HFA are really good at math. (I'm not at all -- I have a learning difference.)

Honestly, as an adult, the most that you'll do is probably have to learn how NTs interact in social situations. Helps on the job, let me tell you! My doctor helps with that; she asks me to record "Aspie moments," and then I talk with her about how an NT would handle it. There are even exercises that can help you memorise what facial expressions mean -- I don't know about you, but given a card depicting 10 facial expressions, I got every one wrong, except for "happy." I can't read facial expressions, but I am learning to memorize what they look like -- telling concern from anger, for example -- so that I can react in a way that won't put off an NT. If you do get an AS diagnosis, your therapist or doctor might suggest these or other ways to handle awkward situations. (Or you could try recording moments in which you feel like you've put a foot wrong but don't know how or why, and then talk to a trusted NT about what he or she would have done.) You could also ask an NT friend to signal you somehow when you're commiting a social faux pas -- my husband will gently squeeze my knee or run his hand down my spine when I'm doing it. Looks like affection, but tells me to watch myself. You might also get accommodations in school, from a single dorm room to a Student Assistant in class who can take notes or assist you in whatever ways you need.

That's what I'm experiencing in my first days here.

Tinypaperhat, I don't know whether I have AS or not either, though I suspect it much more strongly since learning more about it, and I share a lot of the same traits you mention.

There are ways in which I think we learn to adapt -- not in the same ways as other people, but just for our own survival dealing with the world. It's funny, because as I learn more about AS I recognize and remember so many things I dealt with as a child but learned to cope with. However, as I got older and had more stressful jobs, more demands on me in social settings related to work, I found that I became sort of exhausted. Since learning more about AS, I find that I feel so differently about what it means to be myself. It used to mean wrestling at all times with my coping persona to do what I sort of wanted to do, while still seeming "normal" even to me. Now I'm considering ways to make me feel comfortable as myself most of the time and only use coping strategies when I have to with other people.

As someone else said, you're very lucky to have found your girlfriend. She sounds like someone to treasure.