What have you tried to change?

Post Reply New Topic

It can be something major or minor whichever. For me today my dad said that I'd often say "I don't know" to everything so I broke down and tryed NOT saying it example: How do you cook this Me: Uhh look at the instructions (which IMO comes off as rude but whatever) It DROVE ME CRAZY forcing myself not to say it! Does anyone else feel this way. It fealt VERY Fake and stupid!! !! Sure I'd like to believe the "Be yourself Montra" but if I truly did that my behavior would land me in jail considering my past actions. (and I like posting on WP Oh and my freedom too LOL!)

I'm working on some of the basics:

Trying to maintain more eye contact, NOT answering rhetorical questions, NOT taking things literally,

I'm still adjusting to the relatively new knowledge of these and other special qualities that I seem to have but I figured I would be better off if I could get some control in these areas.

i try my best to control my meltdowns

It's probably just language processing delay, and IMO he ought to chill -- it's not like
it's a crime or something (and not like you're NT). Stealing cars, not so good; "I don't know" not so bad, IMHO...

It's always taken me at least a half-second to understand people and some more time to figure out what I want to say back. And when I started to feel pressure to respnd faster ended up pushing to answer when my brain was stuck at the point of "uhhhhh...still thinking...." which meant "I don't know" would come out of my mouth.

"The Right to Say, "I don't know"

The only thing I am successful at changing is my mind.

OTOH, changing the way I look for and look at boundaries has turned into a full time job. Having a wall around me requires so much maintenance not to mention guarding the hole in the wall I use to access the outside world. Once out in the world, my boundaries our obviously wide open, so why isn't everybody else so wide open dammit. Perhaps this attitude needs to change a little.
Changing how I try to do it all on my own is also a complicated task requiring full time attention.

Change and acceptance are things that I have to learn to tolerate in others, as for myself, I can either change or accept the intolerable things I learn. Once my fear of change is accepted, the change itself seems to accept me. After all, the only proof of life is change.

Work from the inside-out. Find the CAUSE of your problem, rip it out of your brain, mental-imagery-wise, take a good, loooong look, and deal with it.

It's usually something emo, like a forgotten memory or a trauma ya STILL get angry over.

i try to feel empathy/appear sympathetic. when a friend tells me something, and i accept but dont feel anything, i really think hard about it. because i know they are my friend and deserve this of me. it's succesful, and i experience a lot more empathy now.
i know it may feel fake at times, but the more you try to feel it, the less fake it becomes, and they need some sort of visible confirmation that you understand, even if you understand 3 hours later i hate how it can be seen as not caring....i DO care, i am just not sure how, at times.
I try not to have revenge, anymore. it doesnt help anything. i try and live by the "treat others how you wish to be treated" rule. even if i feel like something is unfair, and i should show them how it feels, i just remember it doesnt help, and i would rather be upset by their wrong then meet their wrong and be guilty of a wrong as well.

Empathy is a hard one as I find I have to simulate it in my mind and this takes forever. Too many variables to process. Sometimes I just stand there like an idiot thinking about it. Usually with an audible "Hmm" I never know what to say to it. Then I try to say something comforting.

My interaction with girls I like is a challenging one. I think of what to say, take a deep breath, and then say it, but not too fast. I try to think what a woman may like to hear, so I probably look around, usually hair, make-up, clothes. For fragrance, "Whoa! Oh my god. That's a nice perfume you're wearing" or, "I like what you've done with your hair, did it take long to get it like that?" and earrings - If they have different sets, I just ask, "How many pairs do you own, and how do you decide which to wear?"

Flirting - maybe... Much different compared with the sweating of the hands and becoming extremely nervous.

i have to simulate it if it has never happened to me before. it i can relate, it's virtually instant.

flirting, oh god. i cannot do that.

Mostly body language, facial expressions, and anything that expresses myself. So yeah, it's not so much about changing who I am, it's more about how I come across.