What de-rails you?

Post Reply New Topic

My train analogy simply means: "What kinds of occurrences totally disrupt and confuse your linear sense of function and purpose?" or put another way: "What completely screws up your groove?"

Three days ago, I had driven to the park with my son to hang out for the afternoon. When we were done, I came back to find my car battery dead. And-I-completely-freaked-out. Eventually I got a handle on the situation and brought myself to seek out someone in the parking lot to help me jump my car. That got it going, and we went home. But I was thoroughly de-railed.

Two days ago, I had a lot of important things to do. I had some job-related work pending, and I was scheduled to go get the H1N1 vaccine so we don't get sick, etc. But I was de-railed. I felt like crawling inside a hole and ignoring the world. And that's pretty much what I did. Instead of taking care of my important responsibilities, I went outside and did stuff in my garden. I neglected work and home and hid inside my safe plant world.

Yesterday, I slowly began to realize how messed up my behavior was. Now I was behind on work, and I had put myself and my family at risk by not getting the vaccine when I was able to. I have to wait until next week now. I became overwhelmed by anxiety, guilt, and shame.

Why do we get de-railed?

What de-rails you?

Interuption and interference. To really get going things I need to gain momentum, and this momentum seems to be easlily destabilized by others who lack a sense of spatial boundaries (or assume everyone else is like them). Sometimes if an object is moved from where I left it, or if someone suddenly turns on the TV loud, or wants me to attend to something when I am not prepared.

I get derailed by phone tag. I use email whenever I possibly can just to get around that problem. Other people can take phone tag in stride and just keep phoning each other back and forth and laugh about it when they finally connect. I have trouble concentrating until I've actually made contact with the person.

I am in an almost perpetual state of derailment, so ... pretty much everything.

Whenever I get told by my superiors I'm going to have to brief something in front of a group. Which in my job is basically every other day. So, quite often! Anything unexpected will do it too. It's highly irritating and quite irrational considering I've been doing this job for almost 2 years now, and it still does it with the same strength.

Anxiety derails me, and obstacles in my path that I must roll away or learn to jump over.

Any sudden change in the pre-visualized expectation in my head can do that (like your car battery situation). I simply do not do surprises at all.

Social anxiety can do it, too. I used to have a job that involved going mainly to WalMart stores and WM Distribution centers to do cosmetic maintenance on computers. One of the Distribution Centers is an ENORMOUS complex of warehouses and offices, literally the size of a small city. The warehouses weren't so bad, 'cause I was mostly alone. But the offfices - Oh. My. God. Doing those meant hours upon hours of going from desk to desk disturbing people who were busily at work, moving them out of the way so I could crawl under their desk and disrupt their routines for a few minutes before moving on to the next desk and doing the same thing to yet ANOTHER TOTAL STRANGER.

Some days I would drive all the way (over an hour) out there, sit in the parking lot shuffling paperwork, then just start my truck again and go home, because I couldn't face the anxiety of going in and annoying all those people, one by one. Of course, I'd have to drive right back out there the next day and face it again until I could push through and get the job done, but many times it was just too much. Try explaining that to someone who doesn't have AS.

In my job I have to go out and do the technical work and then I have to come home and do the paperwork for the work that I did. I have a very hard time switching my mind between doing paperwork and doing the work itself. This situation has been my nemesis for many years. One person suggested that I make a schedule and stick with it but being self employed without any employees, sometimes I have to go when I get called as soon as I get called. If anyone has any other ideas as to how I can prevent getting de-railed I would be eternally grateful.

I get "derailed" when my mind is set to one task (or set thereof) and someone requests something in the middle of it. Quite annoying.

Almost anything

If I've completed what's expected of me at work for the day and suddenly something else comes up, either more work or a car problem like a flat tire, that will do it. It's like I've only rationed just enough emotional stamina and mental focus to do what is required and anything more is overload. Back when I was tending bar, and anyone who's ever worked in a restaurant knows how intensely stressful it can be, I was feeling really proud of myself because I was handling the chaos of happy hour so beautifully. Then someone asked me for a layered drink and I just stood there with a glazed look on my face and a totally blank mind. It was like a was juggling a bunch of balls and then someone threw me one too many and I lost them all.

delete double post

For me, a sudden change of plans, unexpected interruptions, and new circumstances are a few of the things that can "derail" me and leave me feeling quite discombobulated for some time afterward.

1. Sudden changes of plan - I do most of the plans, I have no need of taking plan from someone unless I agreed. People hijacking and interfering my plan does often bother me.

2. Thing Go Wrong - If it get to the point that it is out of control, I tend to "come back" at another time if I agreed to do it.

3. Inconsiderate People - I get little upset when people trying to steer around me while walking. They have no regard for my pace while walking and expect their calculated math to expect them to think they can get by without hitting me.

4. Family borrowing from me - I get borrowed, I don't like family borrowing from me and I wanted to use part of it for a computer upgrade and other things.

1. Sudden changes of plan - I do most of the plans, I have no need of taking plan from someone unless I agreed. People hijacking and interfering my plan does often bother me.

2. Thing Go Wrong - If it get to the point that it is out of control, I tend to "come back" at another time if I agreed to do it.

3. Inconsiderate People - I get little upset when people trying to steer around me while walking. They have no regard for my pace while walking and expect their calculated math to expect them to think they can get by without hitting me.

4. Family borrowing from me - I get borrowed, I don't like family borrowing from me and I wanted to use part of it for a computer upgrade and other things.