Does your brain naturally tune out people?

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During a real-time social interaction, does your brain naturally tune into everything except people? I mean objects in the physical environment and ideas in your own head. Does your brain prioritize all of these over people as the targets of your focus? If so, do you think that this consumption of attention by objects and ideas is the primary factor that interferes with your processing of non-verbal cues and application of theory of mind in real-time? Or do you consider yourself extremely limited in your inherent or practiced ability to process non-verbal cues and apply theory of mind? Do you think that this particular prioritization stack is a key characteristic of the autistic brain?

Personally, much of my attention is drawn towards external objects and internal thoughts during social interactions. When someone is talking to me, my brain prioritizes external objects over communications, so I can only process the most obvious verbal communications while missing the more subtle non-verbal communications. When I am talking, my brain prioritizes internal thoughts related to the topic over communications, so I have no idea what meaningless non-verbal cues I am sending and not always a good idea of what I am saying. It's like most of my brainpower is preoccupied with internal thoughts and external objects, leaving a little to generate unsubtle communications of my own, and none to process subtle communications of others.

In these situations, forget ToM! ToM is not even on my radar. It's the last thing on my mind, the lowest task in the stack. Ability-wise, I did pretty well on the reading the mind in the eyes test, although that was just multiple choice process of elimination, but I don't read cues well in real-time. I can also understand ToM if I think it through, but I never remember to think of it in real-time. My brain just doesn't go there. I feel like it is because my attention is used up by everything except people, while NTs focus their attentions primarily upon people. Conversely, I find NTs to be far less observant of the physical environment than I am, maybe because their attentions are used up by people.

What about you?

Huh?

Didjoo say sumpin?

Yes, I find myself more occupied with external objects than the person with whom I'm "communicating."
That's not true 100% of the time, if I'm really into a conversation or the topic, that person will have my full attention, but frankly, that's rare. I had something like this happen the other day when I was in the checkout line at Costco. When the cashier was scanning all my items, I heard some kind of chatter, I gave it no thought, when he gave me my total, I paid, he gave me a weird look as I said Thanks, Take care. I came to realize that I think he was talking to me the whole time, that's what that chatter was, haha!! I was clueless, or careless, one of the two.

Interestingly, I'm able to focus and understand a conversation MUCH better when I'm the third party - so person A is talking to person B, and I'm person C, not involved in the conversation, just observing - during these situations I retain almost everything. I've always noticed that about myself.

I'm not wildly interested in connecting with people, I do it well when it's called for, but I don't particularly like it, probably because it takes so much effort to stay in present time with someone, normally my mind is all over the place.

Also, sorry to sound like a noob, but what is ToM, and NT?

For me, it's really more like my brain is trying to tune into too many things at once. I have to work at staying tuned in to any one thing at a time. I believe this is an ADHD quality, YMMV

Another thing that kinda sucks, a double-edged sword, is that I have the ability to respond perfectly in most any conversation. So, that means I could be out in left field, not paying attention to anything the person has said, though I've been responding the whole time like I'm paying attention....Then if they say "what do you think?," I'm at a loss. I usually just take the high road and tell the person "I'm sorry, but I wasn't paying attention."

I have developed a pretty good theory of mind now. When I get bored I pretend to read people's thoughts, especially if two people were talking and I was feeling especially cynical, I would make up what they were talking about. I seem to know how people would react to situations too.

For me it's purely an amplification of the sensory environment. Light and noise are my most sensitive but visual stimuli is especially distracting. It can also save me from a sensory overload too. And you're right, at this moment theory of mind and non-verbal behaviour is about as noticeable as as the goings on of the sub atomic world, although my mind is usually preoccupied by thinking about that.

However, I didn't do too well on the mind in the eye's test but I have an overall idea of what body language means. But in those chaotic sensory environments there is a delay in understanding them.

Thanks SammichEater.

Yes it does

Actually, now that I think about it, I have a feeling that I would have failed the reading the mind in the eyes test if it had been fill in the blank. I was totally surprised at some of the choices, even if I made mostly the right ones.

Also, for some reason, every time I try to type "reading the mind in the eyes", I type "reading the eyes in the mind" instead and then have to correct it. I did it just now, in the last sentence. Is this my brain trying to tell me something?

Definately! I notice everything in a wide radius around me, whereas NT's seem to have a blind spot?

My brain naturally tunes out bullcrap
So I tune out people.