Ever been told you only care about your interest?

Post Reply New Topic

If it's not something you like/want to do you're against it. My mom tosses this line at me alot which at times can be upsetting. I can be focused on shopping for a certain item or in the case of going to Sea World riding Manta (didn't get to rid Manta though LOL!) Also I focused strictly on Psychology while in College leading to just B,C's in other courses and of course an A in Psychology (I even did a research paper for the following semester's Psychology course ahead of time during the 2 week Christmas holiday break Does this sound similar to anyone?


Thanks.

Of course...though it turns out it's by people with either one of two mindsets:

those who ALSO only care about their interests, and want to deflect on me

those who are basically "crowd pleasers" and want external acceptance, so they assume I should pursue the same goal.

most of my interests don't seem to interest others so I tend not to talk about them. plus they tend to shift quite often (one thing at a time) and people may try to talk to me about yesterdays interest (which no longer interests me), or bring it up in a situation I find inappropriate.

also, when i share something with one person (about a personal interest), I automatically assume the caveat 'this is between you and me' applies. alot of people i know don't realize this (either they are mindblind or ignorant or don't take me seriously) and try to bring up these secrets in front of others. instead of being an icebreaker it causes me embarrassment.

so you have to put up a front. talk about the weather.

Being older and working my time around people is just work related so my only interests then are about work. My wife is a very patient listener about my "fascinating life". Parents, teachers, and peers used to lambast me all the time about my narrow range of interests and perseverating on the absence of such.

If it's not something you like/want to do you're against it. My mom tosses this line at me alot which at times can be upsetting. I can be focused on shopping for a certain item or in the case of going to Sea World riding Manta (didn't get to rid Manta though LOL!) Also I focused strictly on Psychology while in College leading to just B,C's in other courses and of course an A in Psychology (I even did a research paper for the following semester's Psychology course ahead of time during the 2 week Christmas holiday break Does this sound similar to anyone?


Thanks.

My mum brings it up when it's got nothing to do with what we're talking about.

My main interest is electronics, the one that
is th*t of to be growed up.

All my other intrists are th*t of as not growed up
because I like legos, Teletubbies, Pooh and Tigger,
Hotwheels, colouring, trick or treating on hallows eve.

Well, as a Mom, I'll be honest, and tell you that I've said this to my son... yesterday in fact. I was very upset because he hasn't done any homework in months, and the school are always on about it.

You see, I know where he's coming from, and I understand why he does it. I have a tendency to do it myself, and I've learned to make an effort to think about other things, and do other things.

But the point is, as his mother, I worry about the fact that in not so many years he's going to be having to make his own food, remember to eat without me telling him, pay his bills, etc.

So, it's not just people who only have two mind sets... yes, I'm aspie, and I sympathise with him. But I want him to be able to function in the real world. I actually know how difficult life is for an aspie who is so focussed on their own interest that they are unable or unwilling to focus on anything else. I want him to be able to function.

Moms get a lot of criticism from aspies, particularly I find, aspie males. Has it dawned on you that your Moms are protecting you from the real world? Life is hard when your interest becomes so overwhelming that nobody can get past it.

My Mom was exceptionally good at what she did, looking after me. She died when I was nineteen, and I could really tell the difference. I don't want my son to find himself quite as bereft of coping strategies as I was. So yes, last night, for the first time, I got upset and said it.

But you know, for all that, it's still true.

I've been told something similar. The other day me and a friend were bantering on msn and he said I'm vain, I aked why and he said I don't talk about other people just myself. I said that's not entirely true but he said it is and asked me to say what things I talk about that hasn't got anything to do with me, that was hard .
That told me

Yeah, I even lost many friends because all I talked about with them were my interests. I don't know how many friends I've lost because of this, but it was definitely a deterrent for one of my friendships. My special interest at the time was Chinese, and I didn't even realize that all I've been talking to her about was Chinese until she mentioned it to me, and it was too late to stop then. I thought she would enjoy talking about it because she went to Chinese school with me, but I guess not. She was probably being polite before and continued the conversation, but gave me some sort of cues indicating that she didn't want to talk about it, cues that I've missed entirely.

Oh yes, especially when it was Doctor Who, and later on, Harry Potter, and admittedly, they did pretty much consume all my thoughts.

I get told that all the time. Thankfully, I live in a place where people only care about their own interests.

Indeed, NTs seem obsessed with themselves. They go on and on about their new electronic gadgets, meetings, their kids, trips they took, their newest boyfriend/girlfriend, their finances, favorite tv shows, etc. Basically stuff I truly don't even understand; but definitely don't care about. As I get older I sense that I am obsessesed with my very narrow range of interests, and not really with myself.