Do you like or dislike Aspies being different?

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zeldapsychology
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06 Nov 2009, 12:13 pm

It's kind of strange IMO for example sensory issues some don't like shopping in crowds or crowds overall while some don't mind it. With smell I don't like perfume/candles others are fine by them. Also stims range from the odd (from NT point of view) as rocking or as minor as making noise or flapping my finger or hand. I constantly hear that every Aspie is different so I was curious what are your thoughts on this are you ok with us being so different or would you rather it fit everyone precisely. :-)



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06 Nov 2009, 12:17 pm

Everybody should be different. It is what makes people unique. I'd be disappointed if everyone was the same.

Everyone has a fault. Nobody is perfect!



zeldapsychology
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06 Nov 2009, 12:21 pm

I agree with the statement If we were all the same the world would be a boring place. But it is hard for people looking at traits saying I do this not that etc. which was the thing I was pin pointing on. :-) I like we are all different aswell although I hate that I've heard from WP people who have seen theapist etc. oh you can't have Asperger's you make eye contact as if lacking eye contact should be universal for all people with Aspergers. :-)



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06 Nov 2009, 12:32 pm

I don't think that there are many identifiable communities which do not admit of significant diversity.

"All Aspies do _____" is no more valid than, "All gays do ______", or, "All Christians do ______."

And for my part, I am fine with that. What unites us is a common circumstance. That does not mean that we always have to agree, or present a single, stereotyped behaviour.


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06 Nov 2009, 12:58 pm

I only met one person that I know for sure was dxed I think moderately functioning autism, and told me I was the strangest person he ever met :lol:

I get stuck on labels myself... my psychiatrist said I just got a label for insurance reasons... I just don't perfectly fit any disorder...

Sometimes I wish I was more normal. I have a lazy eye and a strange inflection to my voice, and some random kid comes up to me today and says "Your eyes are funny and your voice is funny!"

People shun me because I act odd, there needs to be a different attitude out there.


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Willard
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06 Nov 2009, 1:23 pm

I think I get what Zeldapsychology is dancing around, though. Of course we're not all the same, no two human beings are.

But I do see people posting remarks sometimes to the effect of "I don't do this" or "I don't have that trait" and I find myself thinking 'Well, maybe you don't actually have AS, 'cause that's kind of the heart of the disorder.

I also see some folks (teen and twenty-somethings, usually) saying things like that - "that's not me, I don't do that" and in the very wording of their post, they are in fact doing exactly what they're denying. Its amusing. :)



zeldapsychology
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06 Nov 2009, 1:37 pm

Willard wrote:
I think I get what Zeldapsychology is dancing around, though. Of course we're not all the same, no two human beings are.

But I do see people posting remarks sometimes to the effect of "I don't do this" or "I don't have that trait" and I find myself thinking 'Well, maybe you don't actually have AS, 'cause that's kind of the heart of the disorder.

I also see some folks (teen and twenty-somethings, usually) saying things like that - "that's not me, I don't do that" and in the very wording of their post, they are in fact doing exactly what they're denying. Its amusing. :)



Thanks Willard. I was thinking on the don't have AS thing and was thinking IMO if you think something fits you and it helps you understand yourself better than IMO you are fine. It's like something physical OMG I think I have cancer but instead it's X issue well if I didn't think I had cancer or disorder Y another serious disorder lets say X wouldn't have been found so if it wasn't for me trying to understand myself both physically and psychologically I would never get the help or understanding that I need.



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06 Nov 2009, 2:44 pm

When I came top Wrong Planet I could see nothing wrong with the posters. Everything they were talking about was just common, I was that way, so what is the big deal?

It took a while to sink in.



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06 Nov 2009, 2:49 pm

Sometimes I like being different but sometimes I don't because it creates struggles.



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06 Nov 2009, 6:59 pm

Willard wrote:
But I do see people posting remarks sometimes to the effect of "I don't do this" or "I don't have that trait" and I find myself thinking 'Well, maybe you don't actually have AS, 'cause that's kind of the heart of the disorder.


I know what you mean, but as it's usually a "one from A and one from B and one from C" (whatever) diagnosis, and the diagnostic criteria vary according to whether there's an "R" in the month *casually and gratuitously uses oblique metaphoric humour* it's hard to pin down any one thing as the "heart"! Especially when even at a gross level they're things like "significant impairment in social relationships" (whatever), things which are hardly quantifiable. Ask any two people how long a metre is and they'll probably agree. Ask what significant impairment in social relationships is and... you get the idea. :?

I found myself thinking this for the first time yesterday when reading the "pick-up artistry" thread over in Love&Dating - and yet there's several people, presumably some with official diagnosis (for whatever it's worth; gimme three weeks now *gulp*) talking about this as a desirable thing, which seems quintessentially "NT", and utterly alien to me - baffling! :lol:


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ruveyn
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06 Nov 2009, 8:31 pm

Aspies ARE different whether I like it or not.

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06 Nov 2009, 9:14 pm

I love diversity. And I can't think of many groups more diverse that we Aspies. So therefore I love the fact that we with AS/autism are so diverse. You've met one person with autism, you've met one person with autism :D .


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08 Nov 2009, 4:11 pm

I am an individualist


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fiddlerpianist
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09 Nov 2009, 7:16 am

I have known for a long time that I was quite different than my peers. I'm fairly certain had a lot of autistic traits in childhood. Where they went, I'm not entirely sure, but they mostly seemed to vanish.

So whether or not I am on the spectrum, I've always liked being rather different.


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09 Nov 2009, 7:39 am

I love diversity whatever 'community' a person might be in.

My NT friends tend to be somewhat unusual as THAT is the very thing I find interesting.

Even here I tend to read the threads and posts of those that I consider unusual and interesting before any others.

I have just discovered why it is that my wife and I seem to get on so well with people from the gay community..............they are just different and I don't generally have to check that they have a pulse :D

They also seem to accept and perhaps even enjoy my unusual personality.

I find 'foreigners' interesting for the same reason, especially the non-English speaking ones.

Diversity, bring it on.................... please :cheers:


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09 Nov 2009, 11:46 am

Before I was diagnosed it bothered me that aspies were so diverse because it made sef diagnosis extremely difficult. I'm an atypical aspie in many ways, part of it is probably that I'm female, another the coping skills I've managed to integrate to the point where I actually can't really tell which are coping skills and which are "intuitive". Fortunately the psychoogist sked the right questions and disentagled it for me. But I was irritated I couldn't selfdiagnose because the traits and manifestations of autism were so different among people.

For the same reason, it still bothers me sometimes. I've never really had anyone to relate to and I still don't, because as much as some people share my experiences there's also many things that are different. I guess I'm chasing my reflection, trying to figure out who am I? what is autism?

That being said I generally like variety. Most people bore me, it takes something unusual in a person to keep me interested, so for "social" purposes I quite like WP being as diverse as it is. But every now and then I doubt my diagnosis (as I doubt most things in life that are not concrete) and then I can't find support for it here, since other diagnosed people aren't similar enough to me.