Passing by someone in the hallway... What's your thoughts?

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Just as topic states. When you are walking somewhere (EG at the office, school, etc) and you going through the process of walking by someone, what is going through your head? I'll start.

Hmm, theres so-and-so...
Is there an alternate route I can take to avoid the situation all together? If so, take it!
Find something directly past the person, focus on that, look extremely busy.
Is the person looking at me? Quick glance at their face. AHHH, Eye contact!! It burns! Are they going to say hello? Should I initiate it by saying hello? Fat chance! No way, never. Can't do it.

The inevitable may come... The person says "Hello" or "Whats up man" or "Hey how's it going".

Now what, I'm half past the person, I haven't made eye contact at all, I've nearly completely ignored the person...
Do I stop and turn and make small talk? Was their intention to spark small talk? Do they want to talk about the weather or the sports game I didn't watch yesterday?

A couple seconds past...

I should probably say something, completely ignoring someone is probably very rude. Pick one of 3, "Hey", "Not much", "It's going". Did they acknowledge? Looking back they are still walking, I was talking to air. How pointless was that?

IDIOT!

Ahhh, yet another tragedy ensues, now what was I doing, and why am I walking this way? Oh yeah, needed to grab some coffee... Oh #*&$ theres three people standing around the coffee machine talking about the sports game I didn't watch. One of which is completely blocking the coffee machine. Are they blocking it to force social interaction out of me? Arrgg, stupid NT's get out of my way.

... Step #34. Step #35. Step #36... 37... 38... 39.. and 40. 41.

HAHAHA! I have to say, I do almost exactly the same thing. All of the same thoughts go through my head, I think the only difference is once I've begun to pass them. Depending on the degree of which I know them, let's say 1 is someone I may or may not know the name of but I've seen them around and occasionally they say hey to me. 2 is I know their name but I'm not really friends with them. 3 is they may think we're friends, but sorry, sir, we're not. 4 is I used to be friends with this person but we've drifted and I don't really care to talk to them but I feel obligated to. 5 is we are friends.

Okay. Beginning to pass the person:
if 1: look at feet. CONCENTRATE VERY HARD ON FEET. Look up quickly, if they're looking at you, smile. Although, I'm sure my smiles always come out like a deformed sneer or smirk.
If 2: either smile (gahh!! ! that was a smirk again!! !) or smile and wave. Don't say anything unless they say something first.
If 3: "HI, SHANI!" "Hi." continue walking at a faster pace. I'm obviously in a hurry.
If 4: Oh poop. There's so-and-so. They saw me. They saw that I saw them. AWWW POOP. Now I have to say something to them. Hello-how-are-you-I'm-sorry-but-I'm-going-this-way-and-I'm-trying-to-look-stressed.
If 5: *Sigh* I'm not in the mood to talk to him/her, but I know that's how people function and I have to stop walking and talk to them for a while because that's what friends do.

If I have my headphones on, sometimes I just keep walking while pretending to find a song on my iPod just so no one tries to bother me. Basically, though, everything you said is spot on

Also, if someone initiates with "What's up," "how's it going" or the like, I'm usually so focused on trying not to focus on them that I say the wrong thing. For instance:
"Hey, what's up?" "Alright"
"How's it going?" "Not much"
The only one I can truly seem to grasp is "How are you?"

I realized recently that everyone, even NT's, feel awkward when walking down a hallway towards another person. I've watched what they do and it appears that the appropriate procedure is to look to the side or down or somewhere else until you get close to the person, then you look at them briefly, smile, and maybe say hi without breaking stride.

I was always terrified of this because its kind of a situation that is very awkward and it's like "do I look at them? do I ignore them? what do i do?? gah, eye contact!" but I have noticed that everyone looks somewhere else other than at you until you get close by. So I think everyone feels awkward in this situation. Which is comforting to know.

1. Oh no. There's someone else in the hall.
2. Can I get out of the hall without them seeing me?
3. Is there a door I can walk into before they get near me?
4. If so: Walk through it.
5. If not: Move to the edge of the hall. Look off into space and hold up your hand. Act like you're counting something on your fingers and don't notice them, and hope that they don't say anything to you.
6. Did you get past them without them saying something to you?
7. Yes: Get out of the hall quickly.
8. No: Oh no! They said "Hey Matt."
9. Look at them and say "Hey."
10. "Hey."
11. Did they continue walking or did they stop?
12. Damn! I forgot again to say their name.
13. What is their name?
14. Their name is <theirname>.
15. Did they continue walking or did they stop?
16. If they continued walking: I wish I could remember to say people's names. (Sometimes by the time I remember their name they are out of the hall.)
17. If they stopped: Oh no, a conversation.

I really truely hate this. I am extremely awkward when this happens. Even with people i don't know. I walk to school to pick my kids up. If there is someone walking towards me, my head is down or looking further off than they are, and a bit to the side, that way they don't think i am looking at them.

This happened the other day. Some, i am thinking, high school boy, maybe a bit older, was walking towards me. He was far enough away that i could see where he was looking. Getting closer...still looking confident, not looking anywhere except in his walking directing. My eyes glued on the ground. Finally we get ready to pass, i look up at him and he smiles! I throw a quick smirk and drop my eyes. I don't even know if we had pasted eachother yet when i smirked. But i felt like a fool!

A couple weeks ago, at the home depot, i had to use the bathroom. Seeing that we redid the entire house, we spent a lot of time there. The guy in plumbing happened to be back by the bathroom. I was coming up one LONG aisle and he saw me, left and came back and stood at the end of the aisle until i got close enough for him to say something. We have never ever talked. Left that up to my bf and all his plumbing questions. I figured he would do the home depot thing and ask if i needed help looking for something, but nope...he just said hi. Eyes drop back down to the floor and a quick hi. I swear, walking down that aisle at home depot that day felt like i was in a wedding, walking all alone and hundreds of people watching and taking pictures. I felt so stupid!

Oh, and when this does happen, i can feel myself walking awkwardly. I don't think it is noticeable, but i can feel it. I feel more clumbsy. I feel like it gets harder to try and walk straight and not trip or something.

What I want to do is not talk to them unless I have something concrete to say or ask.

What I usually do is mimic their culture and nod or wave and say something idiotic like what's up or hello or how are you.

Haha. Classic.

If I see someone I know and I think they want me to say hi or look like they are going to say hi themselves I'll say hi or wait for them to say it. I'll usually say hi back though, even if I don't really like the person. If they don't look like they want to know I will just ignore them. Usually after I have known someone for a while the latter is the case. If I'm not sure whether they want to say hi or not I will just quickly whip out my phone and pretend to text someone. That way I have not been rude because I didn't notice them ... or didn't I?

I laughed at the OP's post, because I can totally relate! I've always had problems with people in the hall, because I never knew what to do. I finally figured out that avoiding eye contact works, but people would instead tap me on the shoulder - in which case I would just say "hey" and leave it at that.

I still never know how to respond to "what's up?" or "how's it going?". Do I respond literally, or just say hi? If I respond literally, does it make me look like an idiot? If I just say "hi", does it make me sound rude?


I'm looking forward to a book: "The NT Communication Handbook"

Hall-away topic

I stare straight ahead as I notice them in my Super Aspie Peripheral Vision and when I pass I glance at them and say quickly "I will see you later."

Oh I completely forgot about the old head-nod passing by notions. I never understood that. That was a high school thing. Some would nod up, some would nod down. That one is easily ignored though so I never really had to deal with it.

The classic answer I give to "How's it going?" is... "It's going.". I stole that from somebody else though. It just works, and you don't sound like a total idiot. It's not a literal response and it's not "Hi". It's a happy medium.

As for the "What's up?", haven't figured out anything except "Not much". Feel dumb every time I say it.

Now that I really think about it, I wonder if saying hello to someone repeatedly while passing by is a way of trying to connect. Now that I think about it, there is one woman at my office who started to say hello to me as I passed by every single time. She isn't very good at it. Most of the others have given up (probably due to my awkward response if any at all).

@Mith: There are a lot of NT's that bellow out their comments at people in hallways from a very large distance. "HHEYYYYY MANNNNN ...". I don't think they are uncomfortable either.

I'm fairly certain (partly because I posted about it in Social Skills and Making Friends awhile ago) that when you're passing somebody, "What's up?" or "Howya doing?" are not questions, they're greetings.. so treat them the same way as you would a "Hello" or "Good Afternoon."

There was a whole Seinfeld routine about passing people at work, and how throughout the day, the acknowledgment gets less and less, so that a greeting in the morning is a nod or a grunt by the afternoon. (I know, I'm totally pathetic and know way too many Seinfeld routines.. something about the format seriously sticks in my head.)

1. See person.
2. Think "Wow, a person."
3. Congratulate myself for being able to recognise another member of my own species.
Now, depending on how much social energy I have
4. If I don't know them, either:
Smile to show to I am not going to kill them, then keep walking.
OR
Keep walking without looking at them or showing any sign that I know they exist.
5. If I do know them
Smile, return their greeting if they greet me, and try to end the small talk as soon as possible.
OR
Glance at them, attempt to smile, and keep walking.

HAHA this made me laugh so hard
i do the exact same thing-- when im not off in my own little world thinking about some random problem
if i'm in a hallway and there's only a few people and they walk by me my inner dialogue goes crazy

it's usually something to the tone of- "f**k stop looking at me, don't say anything to me i don't want to talk to you don't look at me stop looking at me ahh f**k f**k they're getting closer why the f**k is this person not taking their "right" we go by certain conventions in the f*****g country we drive on the right of side of the street why the f**k aren't you walking on your right side of the hallway ....why don't you stay to your right... stay to your f*****g right you f*****g moron, f**k!... w/e if you want to run into me then run into me, i'm bigger than you, i'm not moving... don't look at me like you expect me to move im not moving b***h...." - they walk by... "f**k i hate people..."

1. Step right--shoulder to the wall
2. Maintain focus on carpet
3. Lead with right shoulder, slide past
4. Keep walking and my usual pace to prevent pursuit.

In the event the other person utters an oral greeting, insert a sotto voce acknowledgement between items 2 and 3.

If I actually notice another person I know (this is a rarity, I am usually in my own little world, completely oblivious to the people around me) I will try and commit to some form of acknowlegement, a nod or smile, what have you. Most often when I am out and about, I will simply put on my sunglasses, put up my hood and plug in my ipod and play up to my oblivious nature.

OMG that is so me it's not funny!