Do you find it hard to listen to other people?

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If someone starts on a long monologue with you about something that is not one of your interests, do you find it hard to concentrate and keep attention?

I find it incredibly easy to talk a lot about my interests, but incredibly difficult to sit and listen to someone else talk for a long time about something I have no interest in.

I wonder if that is how others feel when aspies talk to them about their special interests

I feel terrible for it really, but I have someone who talks to me, but he talks for a long, long time, loses what he was originally talking about, goes off on a tangent and all I can do is sit there, pretend to look interested and try and say something. I find it very tiring, and yeah, i am sure it sounds quite selfish to not be able to do the whole reciprocal thing. Anyone else struggle?

I have had a similar problem with my mother and other family members....I used the be obsessive
boor when it came to my interests. But I have learned not to press on with a one sided conversation
about my narrow interests.

I often tell my husband to hush because I am not interested in what he is saying. It's hard to listen I know. I want to do my own thing and not listen to someone yapping. I used to leave conversations when people talk about something I am not into. I would be talking about mine and then my family would decide to change the topic and I would say I was done talking and leave. Now I don't hang out with people because I don't want to hear their boring stories. But if I am talking about mine, then I will do the same thing in return by listening to what they say. I find that to be polite and I think it's selfish to expect everyone to listen to what you want to talk about but you never do the same for them in return. AS is no excuse for that.

I do listen, in fact, I do more listening than talking with this individual, but it is difficult, is more what I am saying.
I have to force myself to respond and to try and say something back on what they talk about.
I am talking periods of up to 20 minutes he is talking for, it is very hard to force yourself to keep quiet for that long and not be able to talk yourself.
And I never know how to look interested. I end up gazing around me, because I dont like staring at people when they are talking.
Is there ever a point where it isn't rude to say that you are getting bored?

I wasn't implying it's what you do, I was talking about myself and giving my opinion about that it's selfish thing to do.
I say things like "okay" "oh" when people talk to me so they know I am listening and not ignoring them. When people don't respond to me, I assume they aren't listening so I shut up. Now they're the aspies for not even listening to us . No point in talking if someone isn't going to hear a word you say. At least I can read some body language or whatever that is called.

I found out on my Fun Facts Coach that to leave a conversation you say something like "I need to go." I don't remember the exact words but I would have to look again. It seems like a good game for us aspies to play and I like the Social Life category.

Yes, I have issues getting away when someone is talking a long time and I am getting edgy about it.
I suppose I am hyper wary now of saying the wrong thing, disappointing or upsetting someone or driving them away by seeming disinterested.
So usually, I will sit there hoping they will tell me they have to go soon, then I am saved

but this is the first person I have talked to in reallife for sometime and I don't really want to mess it up.

Not hard as such. Pointless and a waste of time is more appropriate. I keep getting useless information I can't do anything with. Society dictates that I stand there, and listen, and approve and nod my head. No, screw that.

Oh, yes! I'm standing there going "uh-huh... yep... uh-huh", embarrassing.

I find it very difficult to focus on speech even when I'm really, really interested in what the person is saying. It takes a huge effort of concentration to process their words, focus on them and not everything else on the environment (I don't automatically focus on people like most people seem to; they come into my head as just another feature of the environment), and not blank out.

If I'm not interested, then unless the person is important to me, in which case I turn my listening efforts up to superhuman levels, I just go into my "appearance of attentive listening" mode, where I'm looking at them, and nodding occasionally, and hoping that I take in enough so that if they ask me a question, it looks like I was focussing on what they were saying.

I have a friend that goes on and on... I think people think that I am a good listener, but only because I don't know how to change the subject. Incessant talking, is actually kind of rude, so if someone makes you listen to a "monologue"....You're not the one with the problem, they are.

I have a friend who goes on and on... I think people think that I am a good listener, but only because I don't know how to change the subject. Incessant talking is actually kind of rude, so if someone makes you listen to a "monologue"....You're not the one with the problem, they are.

I do struggle with maintaining my concentration when others are speaking to/with me, especially if I am not interested in what they are saying, or not interested in them.

I manage better in a work/business setting, especially if I am in a one on one client meeting.

If I find my concentration is diminishing I lean forward, which helps.

For me it depends on the circumstances. If I need to do something, or there are a lot of distractions, then it can be very difficult for me to listen to someone if I'm not interested in what they're saying or have no need to know what they're saying (i.e., casual conversation as opposed to discussing work issues). But if I have some down time and don't have anything pressing going on, and there aren't a lot of distractions around, I usually don't have any difficulty paying attention to what a person is saying. Unless, of course, it feels like the other person will keep talking forever; then the difficulty returns.