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Joshandspot
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15 Nov 2009, 11:08 pm

I was wondering if people on this site see any possibly way that aspies could actually be happier than nt's. I'm wondering this because i see alot of things on this site about people complaining and what not and think how hard it is to be an aspie but than when i listen to all my nt friends complain about things that i DON'T HAVE TO DEAL WITH, i wonder if we had a partner that we truly loved (or maybe even made a special interest out of) and a job that was a special interest as well, could we be happier than nts who constantly deal with playing all these games?



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16 Nov 2009, 1:04 am

I think it's entirely possible. I'm in a position along those lines, since I've managed more or less to create a life that makes the most of my special interests/abilities and avoids or minimizes the domains I struggle with. Dumb luck helped in this process, and I hope to have more dumb luck in the future.

Happiness is subjective and difficult to measure, but I am confident in saying that I have a more pleasant, less stressful, and more interesting life than many of the NTs I've known over the years.



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16 Nov 2009, 1:45 am

I'm happy with my life, I admit some parts of Asperger's are hard to live with but I don't go through the stresses of socialising very much and dating I've never done (love however is a different story). I just kick back and have learnt 2 things. 1. Don't care what anyone else thinks, except close friends. 2. Grow an emotional shell. This doesn't mean lose touch of emotions completely it just means don't use them as much as NT's, it makes life so much easier.



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16 Nov 2009, 6:26 am

I don't claim to be the world's happiest creature, but neurotypicals don't look particularly happy to me either.

I'm sure it's quite possible for an Aspie to be very happy indeed....just a matter of forcing the rest of the world to accept our strengths and weaknesses as they are.



leejosepho
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16 Nov 2009, 6:44 am

I do not know anyone who is officially diagnosed NT, but I definitely feel much happier and more content than many "typicals" around me seem to be. However, maybe for them it is a blessing to *not* have the ability to really think, eh?!


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Lepus
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16 Nov 2009, 7:04 am

I'm afraid I have the opposite problem. I tend to overanalyse things, especially ones that worry me or that I care about and get very anxious and upset about them, with the result that I get depressed. I have to take antidepressants to stop me doing this. :roll: They do seem to work though.



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16 Nov 2009, 7:49 am

Joshandspot wrote:
i see alot of things on this site about people complaining and what not and think how hard it is to be an aspie

Whether it is an internet message board or real life, remember that misery loves company

my nt friends complain about things that i DON'T HAVE TO DEAL WITH,

the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence (although I am grateful that I don't have to concern myself with having to regularly 'do lunch')


I wonder if we had a partner that we truly loved (or maybe even made a special interest out of) and a job that was a special interest as well, could we be happier than nts who constantly deal with playing all these games?


If you are looking for that special person to MAKE you happy, you probably never will be happy and your partner will have a heavy burden to carry


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16 Nov 2009, 8:29 am

leejosepho wrote:
I do not know anyone who is officially diagnosed NT, but I definitely feel much happier and more content than many "typicals" around me seem to be. However, maybe for them it is a blessing to *not* have the ability to really think, eh?!


Its good that you feel happy, is this because you don't feel the need to conform to social pressures like what the vast majority of non-aspies/non-auties tend to do or for some other reason?

Personally, I try not to conform to social pressures and I feel happier when I do this. When I was younger and trying to be like everyone else, I was deeply unhappy as I felt a failure with every step I took. Now I am just myself, and if people don't like it, strangers, friends and family alike, then they are not worth my time are they?

From what I have read on here, it seems that some feel that they struggle to be happy. I have had to work hard to be as happy as I am, and yet I'm not totally happy. I do unfortunately have periods where I suffer from anxiety and depression and overcoming this can be difficult. I believe that when you have conditions like this, you cannot be totally happy, but you can try to be as happy as you can. This is what I try to do by keeping myself busy and ignoring those who wish to throw negativity at me for whatever reason. This can be difficult to ignore sometimes, but then I try to think of it in this way: 'this person is being negative towards me because they have no life and feel they need to do this for entertainment value, therefore, they are messed up and not me'.


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zer0netgain
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16 Nov 2009, 8:30 am

Well, don't let a view of WP set the tone of how "happy" we generally are or are not.

People with AS generally see the world in much simpler terms. So, what can be a problem also means we don't waste energy on a bunch of fluff that really doesn't matter.

However, here at WP we have a place to express the things going on, and a lot of issues we struggle with are negative, so I think the bad get a lot more attention than the good.

Even in my life, for all of it's problems, there is more good than bad if I stop to count each pile.



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16 Nov 2009, 9:30 am

I would be happier if I won Powerball.

Overall, I have had some happy times in my life.. I don't think I am a sad person. Sure I have my issues I'm dealing with.. but I have seen some real dark times and now is much better then where I have been.

Yet, if someone came on this forum and said they were truly happy, they would be attacked and picked apart until they admitted they were sad or driven off. If they say.. 'life sucks', the response is usually.. welcome to our world.

I even see people having little contest in some of the forum, my life sucks more than yours. I guess this is the AS way of keeping up with the Jones.


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gramirez
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16 Nov 2009, 10:28 am

I've never considered myself to be happier than NT's, but my experience has taught me that NT's may look happy on the outside, but deep down they are really hurting.


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zer0netgain
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16 Nov 2009, 10:55 am

gramirez wrote:
I've never considered myself to be happier than NT's, but my experience has taught me that NT's may look happy on the outside, but deep down they are really hurting.


True. I may as miserable as you are, but at least I'm honest about it. :lol:



leejosepho
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16 Nov 2009, 4:39 pm

Fiz wrote:
leejosepho wrote:
I do not know anyone who is officially diagnosed NT, but I definitely feel much happier and more content than many "typicals" around me seem to be. However, maybe for them it is a blessing to *not* have the ability to really think, eh?!


Its good that you feel happy, is this because you don't feel the need to conform to social pressures like what the vast majority of non-aspies/non-auties tend to do or for some other reason?

Personally, I try not to conform to social pressures and I feel happier when I do this. When I was younger and trying to be like everyone else, I was deeply unhappy as I felt a failure with every step I took. Now I am just myself, and if people don't like it, strangers, friends and family alike, then they are not worth my time are they?


I try to be cautious there so as not to become arrogant, but yes, I am what I am and people can either learn to respect that a bit or move along.

It is not so much that I "feel happy", and certainly not all the time, yet my "misery" seems much less to me than that of many people around me. And yes, at least part of that is because I do not get blown around by whatever new social thing is going on this week. I work by myself most of the time, and I talk with other employees a little whenever necessary or when they come into my shop to wash up for lunch or at the end of the day. However, I do not join them for lunch in the break room where I would either suffer their chatter or upset them by doing most of the talking.

Overall, though, I really think more along the line of "content" than "happy", and I am happy and content with that!


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chelischili7
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16 Nov 2009, 5:17 pm

Quote:
I work by myself most of the time, and I talk with other employees a little whenever necessary or when they come into my shop to wash up for lunch or at the end of the day. However, I do not join them for lunch in the break room where I would either suffer their chatter or upset them by doing most of the talking.



I do the exact same thing. Luckily, our senior lounge is used sparingly so I do most of my work there. Mrs. Pupovac (my co-operating teacher) uses the computer and other resources often during her classtime. I have my desk in the back of the room, but I prefer to work in isolation in the senior lounge.

Quote:
I've never considered myself to be happier than NT's, but my experience has taught me that NT's may look happy on the outside, but deep down they are really hurting.


It really depends on the NT. For popular NT's with lots of friends, I think it's really hard for any Aspies to be happier than NT's. The more social connections one has, the happier they are for the most part.

As an Aspie, I am generally happy but I there is one major piece missing - a companion. I am saddened sometimes because I see other people walking around with their wife, g/f, b/f, or fiance. I have always wanted that but have not found that person yet. Am I happy? Yes, but I will never be completely happy until I find someone that I truly connect with. I have yet to find that person.



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16 Nov 2009, 5:40 pm

I have always been an extremely happy, positive, optimistic person. I do see the world in rather simple terms... possibly too simple at times, as I've been told that I am quite naive. But charmingly so, apparently. :)

I have never felt compelled to enter the societal rat race in any way, shape, or form, and I think that has generally kept me truer to myself (and, by extension, happier). I remember in sixth grade when my teachers explained what peer pressure was. I thought to myself, "That's odd. Why would anyone ever feel pressured by their peers to do anything they didn't want to do?"

Re: anxiety and depression. I have little moments of anxiety about strange things, but they never overwhelm me. And as far as I know, I've never been particularly vulnerable to depression. I suspect that I am extremely lucky.


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