Have you been told you are self centred?

Post Reply New Topic

It was a common thing for me to be told when younger, and even now it can be at times.
I even feel selfish a lot of the time because I find it very hard to show interest in other people and their interests.
I try, obviously, to behave as if I am interested, force out comments and questions if anyone tells me something, but it is like I just cannot summon interest in other peoples' lives...there is lack of feeling there.
I don't know how common this is, but it does bother me.
Is this how every human feels? Does every human have to make themselves show interest in other people and their interests?
I have always been this way, but I notice it now more than ever.
But it always leaves me feeling I must be very self centred as I can focus on my own interests, my own problems, my own thoughts and feelings, but I find it very difficult to focus on those of others. It doesn't seem to be innate in me.

I'm the same way. On the train trip back to Boston from NY my sister and her friend said I only cared about something if it was something I WANTED to DO. Well sorry if I have ABSOLUTELY 0 INTEREST in walking around Little Italy looking for Pizza not getting back to the hotel room until 1AM and BTW PIZZA HUT IS BETTER THAN THAT s**t WAS!! ! SHEESH!! !! !! !! !!

Also I tryed to have interest for example she mention wanting to go to FAO Schwarz and I wanted to go to Disney store. She then said the next day "Oh you're fine if it's something like the Disney store or FAO etc. UH YOU WERE THE ONE THAT WANTED TO GO TO FAO!! !! (didn't say this but thought it!! !) Also while I do collect M&M collectibles I was happy walking on by the Time Square store she then says "Where are you going we're going into the M&M store I was like oh! Also she had a mild interest in her favorite store Victoria Secret and get this DIDN'T BUY A THING SHEESH!! !! !! ! So overall yes I know where you are coming from.

To some extent, people do have to make an effort to take some interest in others' interests. We will tend to find that harder & I wish I could tell you how to do it. As long as you do feel selfish for not doing it, there's some hope, I think.

I suspect nearly all Aspies have been told that at times. I tend to assume it means I need to check my behaviors for an appropriate degree of social reciprocity. Usually that check turns up something I had let get a bit slack, but sometimes there's nothing and the person is just venting about something else entirely.

No one has told me I am self centered, but I'm sure that people have thought it from time to time because I don't always reciprocate when required. I suspect that most people who know me chalk it up to just being a bit clueless about things.

Yes.

No, but I am. Since I live alone, a long way from town, I have to be focused on taking care of me.

I never had to be told I was self-centered. I know that from the age of 5.

ruveyn

Yes I have.
Because of this I'm afraid of getting anyone's attention, thinking that it's a selfish act.

self-centered, no. self-absorbed, yes.

Yes. Often.

YES. All. The. Time.

But I guess they're right. I love my mom, she is very important to me, but when she's sad, I feel nothing. I try to care, I WANT to care, but I can't maintain it for more than a few minutes. It's like my brain just runs out of 'caring' easily.

And my mom is always angry with me about the tons of useless junk I know about each and every one of the first 251 Pokemon, yet can't remember to do something she wants me to do. She says I don't care because it doesn't apply to me. She's right. I want to, so badly, but my brain does not hold onto it.

A kid I knew (Although I haven't talked to him in a year, and wasn't really a friend) died within the last few days. I didn't cry. I can't get a hold on the idea of him simply not being anymore, and so I'm not nearly as sad as I should be. I want to be shocked, cry, and scream, so why can't I?!

I don't want to be selfish :(

(Sorry for the long post, this is the first place I've actually been able to say/type what I feel, and it feels good to get it out.)

Yes

Yes I have been told that.

a family member told me I'm narcissistic. she has a habit of attributing motives to me that don't exist, however, so her impression of me is probably not that accurate. I've also been told I'm self-absorbed, but as far as I can tell I'm no more self-absorbed than the people who said I was. I certainly seem to talk about my personal life a whole lot less than they do, anyway. apparently I talk too much about a certain issue that's been deeply effecting my life for years, which isn't interesting compared to their sexual exploits, so I'm selfish to talk about it I guess.