Proper autistically executed meltdowns

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The impression I have is that a "proper" AS meltdown generally consists of angry tantrums, erratic behaviour, complete withdrawal or some such sequence of behaviour.

My "meltdowns", if that is a correct classification of my experiences, always resulted in endless crying and an inability to communicate why. Now, am I correct in assuming that this is not proper hardcore AS meltdown procedure?

I have read extensively about asperger's and not once have I seen any mention of extreme sissyness. Sure you can be overwhelmed, but is excessive crying something someone with AS would actually do in a "meltdown" situation? Most of you seem pretty hardcore, much more prone to anger than tears. Does anyone have alternative diagnosis proposals for me?

My logical deduction (for the benefit of the autistically inclined):
No aspies are sissies
I am sissy incarnate
I do not have asperger's

Last edited by Amnos on 17 Nov 2009, 8:16 am, edited 1 time in total.

I have heard of people having both forms of meltdown actually.
I have had both, though it is more common for me to get explosively and blindly rageful, throw things, rant, scream or/and shout, then cry for a long time.
But on occasion, I have simply sobbed for hours at a time.
Oddly, I have done this more as a teen an adult, than as a child.

No one is entirely certain what is going on with a melt down. Further some might be more inclined to describe your behavior as more a shut down (although it’s unclear from your description; if the inability to communicate is general and also accompanied by other incapacity of normal function, then many people would be inclined to construe that these incidents might be better described as “shut downs”).

I personally suspect that some kind of neuro seizure (akin to or actually a kind of epileptic seizure) is involved in both melt downs and shut downs, and if that is the case then whether your incidents were one or another would be determined on the basis of whether there was some kind of neuro seizure activity entailed. This would not help you though because you cannot know if these incidents did or did not entail such neuro activity.

Your deduction though can be ruled unsound on the basis of the truth value of the first premise (no need to look any further that being the case). As a matter of fact it is not true that everyone who has Asperger Syndrome is not a sissy.

I'm trying to think of the right way to say this, but I'm not sure that there is since you're a guy.. But I think this is one of those issues that gave the impression that only males could have AS.. It sounds to me like it's more of a female-style meltdown.. That does not mean that you're a sissy. Different people express things in different ways. Sometimes the division is loosely based on gender, males express it one way, and females express it another way, but that's not exactly 100%. Rage expressed as hysterical crying and stuff is hard to correctly recognize, but I don't think it's actually different than rage expressed by violent fits.
Um, I hope this makes sense and isn't horribly offensive.. I'd think what I said is less offensive than you calling yourself a sissy, so please don't be pissed at me if it sounds like I'm saying that too, 'cause I really don't think I am..
Edit: my point is that anger and tears aren't mutually exclusive.

A meltdown is an overflow, tears seem to have worked, violent rage, and vultures throw up on annoying others.

Apes in zoos and in the wild turn to poop slinging.

The message is, I have had enough.

I have more control, and just bump the situation up, from wondering out loud how the person would react to pain, to describing how I would skin them. I find directed emotional release works for me, and a lot of people just avoid me ever after.

I am too big for outbursts of violent rage, that leads to disposing of the bodies, finding the shovel, a lot of work, and they are just not worth it. Telling them how no matter what they do, I am going to bite their nose off, is more fun.

The truth is all dogs will bite, but some will just piss on your leg.

It is all a means of changing a situation.

In all of it's forms it is a means of making the other person look bad, and/or smell bad.

Nothing messes with skunks.

They have stepped beyond the bounds, now there is a price to pay. The message is it is never going to end.

I have watched small cats beat up big dogs, you might kill me, but after I get my licks in.

In some form or another it runs through all animals.

Yes, and/or that I simply cannot take any more. My earliest one I can recall was a rage at age 12, and my latest was in tears just a few days ago.

Nice job on the sensitivity, Maggie, and let them flow whenever they need to, Amnos!

Hmm, maybe I might try poop slinging next time, it might shut my noisy neighbours up for a bit.

Lucky me....



Well that is just the thing, I have never expressed rage, and in fact I do not think I have ever had that kind of feeling (overall I don't see the point of getting angry). Also I don't see how or why extreme anxiety/stress would express itself as rage.
This is the main reason why I think I might just reject my AS hypothesis- I don't ever get angry.
Perhaps Schizoid would fit me better, but then that wouldn't quite explain my shut/meltdowns or any other AS symptoms I have.



I couldn't if I wanted to.



Actually I forced myself to stop this a decade ago, doing so impaired my functioning even more though.

It's sometimes possible to manage oneself in such a way that the meltdown is not explosive. I have occasionally managed t do this. It still feels awful and it it still exhausting, but at least I don't offend anyone. Also, I once had a meltdown in public at the airport, and I did not display any rage. I was just crying uncontrollably and stimming. People came to me and asked if they should do anything (e.g. get me a glass of water, help me sit down, etc.) but I was able to indicate that I was autistic, that my partner would be on his way soon and that this is "normal" for me!

(And this was supposed to be a business trip!)

I have a male Aspie friend who has indicated to me that the last time he had a meltdown of any sort was several years ago. He was crying in a foetal position and was hospitalised. (This was before his AS diagnosis.) He has never experienced the kind of anxious-rage meltdowns I've usually had.

I've learned to cry when I was already adult to avoid too much explosive meltdowns. My mother used to say: "I've never seen Night crying, he scream by rage, he never cries". My daughter is the same, she simply "go berserk".

A very few times I have cried excessively, in what I think were meltdowns.
Sometimes when I get overloaded I may cry. Not "excessively", though.

I have a tendancy to do both depending on the situation. But I am beginning to realize a pattern. I only fly into a rage when people are around. The other people don't necessarly set me off, I am pretty good at setting myself off, I just cant cry in front of people unless they catch me at it or something really bad happened. Crying for me is a very private thing, so I supress the tears and get angry... I wish I could prevent the anger, I wish I could stop it. BUt I also like it as it's the only time i feel truly in control.
Anyone else out there feel like I do?

Well I learn something new every day! I had always thought of emotional outbursts as meltdowns, and silent withdrawals as shutdowns, but apparently I don't really know.

I find it very difficult to cry in public, even though I'm a female.

I had more of what I assumed were meltdowns when younger (angry outbursts, irrational, throw things, etc.) and more of what I assumed were shutdowns as I get older. It takes a lot more to make me angry now, also I have gotten better at steering clear of people who piss me off. These days I'm easily overwhelmed by dealing with other people and/or sensory overload, I just can't think, or feel anything, let alone speak. Its like I've been heavily sedated or something. I become exhausted like I haven't slept in days, and if possible I will sleep to recharge, because I can't do anything else productive until it wears off.

Technically rage is just an expression of fear, as is fleeing. They don't call it the fight/flight response to fear for nothing (-;

Desmond Morris writes in his book "the naked ape" that there are two kinds of anger. the cold blooded type where the mad person gets pale, silent and where his lips become flat lines while flexing and the raging (anxious) type where the person turns red and starts screaming, hollering and sometimes foaming with loose lips.

Some people will flea or (alternatively) cry in response to an attack, some will fight.

I can scream at my partner when I'm mad but in situations where I feel dismissed or situations that are totally unjust I tend to cry.

Maybe it has something to do with dominance? Maybe the dominant person gets angry where the submissive person cries? Or it can just be an conditioned response because it had worked for you in the past?

Uncontrollable crying and an inability to communicate why is my most common type of meltdown or shutdown(?). Have had violent outburst in the past but only when on antipsychotic medication. The violent meltdowns stopped when i stopped taking the medication.

Thanks for your replies.
I also apologize if I implicitly have insulted anyone. I may tend to say things in affect despite my fairly docile nature.

It might be the case that my somewhat rabid Christian faith has given me a more servile inclination, or perhaps my mothers affinity for explosive anger has impacted me.



It certainly worked for me as it often removed the stressor. Still, I never cried on purpose, it was merely the only response I knew to extreme stress. I tried to prevent it when I noticed a "buildup", but that was impossible.
Anger would never even occur to me, and I'm afraid I still fail to understand how it could occur to anyone else in any situation of extreme stress.