fighting off meltdowns

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Today I was doing laundry. I put the laundry in the dryer twice and it still wasn't dry. After the second time I didn't want to waste any more quarters. I took the laundry back up to my apartment and when I started folding the clothes, feeling the wet cloth, I started to have a meltdown. Key word here is started. I felt all the familar urges to bang my head against the wall, punch the wall, bite myself, choke myself, all of the above. Every sound was irritating me. It was because of the disturbance in routine I think. Or even more so, the loss of control over the situation. My clothes were wet and I had no control over it. Things didn't go as I had planned them. Whatever the reason, I started pacing. I put my hands over my face and fought it as hard I could, like I always do. I'm so used to this, I have almost complete control over it now. But I have two questions:

1) Does anyone else still have to fight this hard not to harm themselves?

2)Do you think I might one day burnout, and totally lose control, becoming the boy I was 10 years ago. The boy who hits himself everyday. Has anyone else ever burned out? (I guess that's three questions)

Sometimes I think, if I didn't have my interests to keep my going. I would give up and lose control completely. I guess I'm not the only one to say this though.

oh, it can definitely be quite the challenge!

One thing you can try is to recite something over and over to yourself that you find relaxing and sedating.

I mean...people always tell me "take a step back"...but when I have a huge line of people at my register...yeh, kinda can't.

I've started reciting over and over again Vincent Price's dialogue from Thriller. I kid you not...it works for me.

Some times.


There's probably something somewhere that needs to be "refilled" from time to time to keep that from taking place.
What that something is and where it is are a question.


Not sure what to give as answer.

Nope, you're not the only one.


Funny how that seems to relate to oncoming meltdowns like tremors to oncoming earthquakes.

Oh, I can sympathize; it's why I made my career based on my interests; I'd go nuts otherwise.

i havent self harmed or smashed things up for ages... but i've thrown the odd plate last year and this year and i do find iit harder to control . but i know its because ive put myself in a situation that im findding very difficult to cope in .

but theres not much you can do about the dryer not working properly so cant avoid that. perhaps if you speak to your doctor he can put you in touch with a counsellor or nurse trained to help you find a coping strategy right for you. is there more reason to the upset than the clothes not being dry.? it might be that you have little room where you live to dry them. and lack a clothes horse where you can put them and they dont look too untidy, ?

I hit myself sometimes, to the point that my lower back hurts. I think it's from jamming my head into my spine or something. Lately if it happens, I just hit myself once or twice and think " what am I doing?!" Antidepressants help me.....