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29 Nov 2009, 4:14 pm

When you've said something, and have been accused of hinting. For example:

Person 1: I'm going on holiday to France.
Person 2: Oh, I need a holiday.

But in the sighing tone of voice, they've accused you of trying to force you to go with them.

I hate this a lot. I don't mean to do it, until someone points it out to me.

I get this on the Internet as well. Being accused as a Troll (I know what one is), even though I know for a FACT, that I don't wish to Troll. It's not my style.

Have you ever been a victim of this? I might be wording this wrong, but if you know what I mean, you can correct me if you wish.



JasonGone
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29 Nov 2009, 4:25 pm

most people will assume that your words really mean something other than the simple definitions of the words you actually used.
this drives me insane... i can't tell you how many times i have said to someone: [/i]"please listen to just the words i am saying."[i]


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29 Nov 2009, 8:18 pm

Yeah I have. It's annoying. I can't think how often this happens or when it's been the last time.


Oh I just thought of an example. I make a comment about something and that person assumes I wanted to know.
I once said "the radio is on and it's quiet" the driver turns it up thinking I wanted to hear it.
I make a comment that something is annoying, the person stops with the sound. I never told her to stop. I just it was annoying was all. I didn't mean "turn that darn thing off" or "stop with that sound."



88BK
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29 Nov 2009, 8:46 pm

i have only had a problem with this on THIS FORUM.

i recently got accused of being 'inflammatory' when everything i said was completely passive.



Boomkin
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29 Nov 2009, 9:27 pm

I get this quite a bit. People tend to read inbetween the lines about everything. Ironically, (irony!) I recently told one of my friends that I wished everyone would just say exactly what they mean to me, rather than trying to make me guess. She interpreted that to mean that I wanted 'other' people to be themselves, to be who they are... What? 8O

I told her I had no idea if they would be being who they were or not, but I wanted them to speak clearly! To use words that expressed exactly what they meant rather than trying to send me 'secret messages'.


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Greentea
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30 Nov 2009, 11:06 am

Sometimes it's a tactic - they pretend that they misunderstood you in order to guilt-trip you, sidetrack you from your point in a discussion, erode your self-confidence, put you on the defensive - in short, to weaken you. Not in the example of the cab driver, of course. But often when people accuse you of trolling, it's a bullying tactic.


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30 Nov 2009, 3:40 pm

I just had it happen at work. I forgot my watch and left my cell phone in my purse so I didn't have the time with me. I ask this other workers in the bathroom with me if any of them have the time. One of them says he thinks he has it on his phone so he looks and then tries to see what time it is. What? All I wanted to know was if he has the time, not know what time it is. So I told him I only wanted to know if he has the time, not know what time it is.



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30 Nov 2009, 4:00 pm

I'm glad you all know what I mean. :)