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IdahoAspie
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23 Feb 2008, 3:09 am

Do you think people take advantage of you? Especially financially? Do they try to get more out of you? Do you not realize it until much later, or not able to stop it?



jawbrodt
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23 Feb 2008, 4:40 am

I got fed up, and decided to take charge, about 3 years ago. It isn't easy, but life is exponentially better now.


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23 Feb 2008, 4:44 am

They used too but I don't think it happens anymore. I have problems in trust now. But I think I was taken advantage of this past December because I let my niceness get in the way and my bf said I got taken advantage of. I refused to believe it of course and took it as his opinion.



CockneyRebel
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23 Feb 2008, 5:27 am

If anybody tried to take advantage of me, they would be sorry.


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cataspie
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23 Feb 2008, 6:17 am

I have had people take advantage of me,i noticed they quickly go when there is nothing left to take.



AndersTheAspie
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23 Feb 2008, 6:34 am

When doing group assignments I used to get stuck doing all the work. Not that I really minded, seeing as I generaly like school work.
But I was being taken advantage of, and I am not about to let it happen again!


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emoboxergeek
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23 Feb 2008, 6:43 am

I've noticed most AS people can be taken advantage of (i've never done it myself) since they can be very trustworthy people. I've only ever met one AS person who took advantage of people; from what i've noticed though this seems to be an isolated incident.



RampionRampage
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23 Feb 2008, 6:54 am

i don't let people get close enough to put me in that position. good thing, too. i flunked the video tests where i had to pick which story was a lie.
though i did loan 3500 once to a friend that i knew would pay me back. everyone told me i was a retard, but i was paid back within a couple weeks (it was an issue of a check arriving late so i was covering the interim so a friend could complete the down payment on a house for herself and her sons, one of whom is severely autistic so money sure wasn't growing on trees).


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emoboxergeek
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23 Feb 2008, 7:05 am

RampionRampage wrote:
i don't let people get close enough to put me in that position. good thing, too. i flunked the video tests where i had to pick which story was a lie.
though i did loan 3500 once to a friend that i knew would pay me back. everyone told me i was a retard, but i was paid back within a couple weeks (it was an issue of a check arriving late so i was covering the interim so a friend could complete the down payment on a house for herself and her sons, one of whom is severely autistic so money sure wasn't growing on trees).


I need to know them for a long time, and personally, first before I trust them. I once had a girlfriend who I barely knew in real life but knew really well on msn; she went psycho on me within a week. Clearly I didn't know her well enough which is why I decided to get to know them personally as well; I might have spotted she was a cruel hearted b***h if I had.



faithfilly
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23 Feb 2008, 7:40 am

How can an aspie know they know someone well enough to trust them? If you're duped by a person and s/he knows it, then you can be taken advantage of for years without being aware of it.

I once had two half sisters who for 40 years I thought loved me like they loved each other (although they were full sisters to each other). I trusted them until I got so hurt by them that I cried daily for over a year before I moved on without them in my life.


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Cheerlessleader
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23 Feb 2008, 7:46 am

In school, my so-called friends would take advantage of me by bumming money off me, and they also took advantage of my trusting nature and inability to understand nonverbal cues to make fun of every little thing I did.


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2ukenkerl
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23 Feb 2008, 8:22 am

YEP! Ihave said here before how I used to be overly generous, etc... I learned LONG ago(Like when I was FIVE!! !! !) that it is unlikely I would be paid back, so I never really loan money.

The last book I loaned, at the PLEADING of a coworker was, AS I PREDICTED EVEN TO HIS FACE(though he insisted I was wrong), NOT returned! I lost 4 books that way, and I am sure most aren't replacable.

As for paying too much? If you try to buy a car for example. My first car cost about $14496. Statistically, through a "little" lie, the average car dealer will try to make the cost about $18240!! !! ! On my last car, they tried to pull the SAME garbage! You fight, and fight, and fight, and find a charge they trew in for thousands and just say OK, FORGET IT, have it your way.... DUMB, I know, but I wasted so much time, and needed a car. 8-(

As for work? I almost always end up doing everything, only to get blamed if their goals aren't met. I end up doing the stuff because it is done WRONG, or is taking too long. One process I did on this project saves over 10 hours on some days, and I may not even get proper credit for that. The idiot that created the stupid program I replaced is still there, though he should have been fired.

I mean his program took 2 hours to do something mine did in 8 SECONDS!?!?!? And then he comes to ask me how I made mine work so fast!?!?!? Mine was SLOW! I COULD have written it in C and done the work in like 3 seconds, but I figured a few seconds for simplicity was a good tradeoff. but HOURS!?!? And his was MORE complicated than mine.



MattD
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23 Feb 2008, 8:48 am

yes people have taken advantage of me by borrowing money and i lent video games to a guy i thought was my friend but he didnt give them back :x



oscuria
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23 Feb 2008, 8:55 am

I can be easily taken advantage of, but most of the times it is due to indifference. If I have $500 laying around, I'll loan it out with no interest. I don't really care much about money, although, my personal items I do not loan out. I don't borrow other people's materials, they will not borrow mine.

I don't really trust people, so it is a different sense of taking advantage for me.



Danielismyname
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23 Feb 2008, 8:56 am

They did (trusting others for I'm trustful--unable to see that I couldn't trust others).

I learnt, and never again. If it means I appear "hard" or what have you to others, so be it; parts of humanity have hurt me, and I cannot tell the difference between the good and bad parts.

I avoid all parts and deny/refuse everyone.



sarahstilettos
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23 Feb 2008, 9:12 am

Short answer - yes.

After moving out of London I radically cut down my group of friends, ostracising pretty much everyone I thought was taking advantage of me financially. It was hard for a time, but my friendship group has 'grown back' now. Now my only problem is people throwing tasks at me at work that aren't remotely related to my job role, but I'm getting better at saying no.