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Sora
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24 Oct 2011, 10:47 am

The phrase "in her/his own world" is often used to describe an autistic person who appears to rarely initiate or respond to interaction.

Yet, I have been told that I appear "in my own world" during times in which I participated animatedly in interaction.

For some reason, I can be lively, responsive and actively initiating conversation but seem to give off the impression that I have a very unique perception that is very different from that others; that's what was meant by "in your own world".

Is there someone on here who can relate to this?

Truth to be told, having been told that was a little harsh on me at first. I didn't see how it could be. Prior to it, I had thought that my liveliness and the interactivity with other people made me very much a part of people's "world". My openness to stimuli has me see, hear, feel (so on) a lot more things of my environment than normal people to begin with.

How could I still make people think I am "not sharing their personal world" while I was doing all of that?

Back then that whole scene made me realise that while I am able to temporarily do many things less "typical" for autism and evoke a fleeting impression of "being a part of what's socially going on" I am, simply put, not a part because I seem to always retain my autistic perception.

That was about three years ago if my memory serves me right. I think that since then, I got good at being aware of that I see the world differently. Even in moments when I learnt to keep in mind how "the other normal side of the argument" of many everyday matters comes to be in normal people's minds.

Still working on it of course (is there ever an end to it?) because I'm interested in it.


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wavefreak58
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24 Oct 2011, 10:57 am

Sora wrote:
For some reason, I can be lively, responsive and actively initiating conversation but seem to give off the impression that I have a very unique perception that is very different from that others; that's what was meant by "in your own world".

Is there someone on here who can relate to this?


Yup. Pretty much me. My "world" is vastly different from most and as such creates interesting exchanges during conversation. Sometime it isn't even worth the effort so I just say nothing. Sometimes I get quite animated.


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ictus75
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24 Oct 2011, 12:54 pm

Sora wrote:

Back then that whole scene made me realise that while I am able to temporarily do many things less "typical" for autism and evoke a fleeting impression of "being a part of what's socially going on" I am, simply put, not a part because I seem to always retain my autistic perception.


I can relate to this. It's just the way we are. Our perspective will always come from an AS point of view. The best we can do is be aware of this and try to make adjustments when needed. But I always hope that others will take some value in our unique perspective.



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24 Oct 2011, 1:05 pm

My own world is a fantasy world that hasn't got much to do with reality. It's like a really good science fiction story that takes place in my head in great detail and very vividly. It's a place that I just have to go to from time to time. Don't worry though, I know the difference between my own world and reality.

The reason that I have this world probably lies in the fact that I think in detailed pictures and not in words. I have to translate pictures into words and vice versa. And I have to admit that I have some diffuculties with languages.



LongJohnSilver
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24 Oct 2011, 1:34 pm

I learned very early in life (though I denied it at every opportunity) that I saw things very differently from how other people saw them. One instance I can remember was when I was in the third grade. According to many witnesses, I threw a whole tray of food on the floor in the cafeteria in a fit of rage and stormed out. Later, when I was carted off to the principal's office for my hourly paddling, I couldn't remember ever committing the offending act. I remembered eating the food and throwing the (disposable) tray into the trash on my way out, and I don't remember being angry while I did this. The only thing that argued against this scenario was my still-empty stomach. I had to go to the resource room and discuss my "feelings" with the therapist there for over an hour. How can you discuss something you cannot even remember?

Over the years I have come to realize that autistic people generally see the world very differently from "normal" people. For this reason, I cannot see how most autistics can be helped through the usual types of therapy. Until a method can be invented to determine just how a unique autistic sees his world, I don't see how any type of therapy can help an autistic become a normal member of society and live a normal life. - LJS


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btbnnyr
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24 Oct 2011, 2:16 pm

When you are animated during interactions, you probably come across as too animated for the social context. So you are projecting non-verbal cues that are unexpected to NTs, and NTs will sense that you are different, and say that you are in your own world. At the same time, you are probably not picking up on their non-verbal cues, so you are in your own world.

Verbally, you may be using language differently from NTs. You and an NT may describe the same experience in very different terms. For emotions, NTs usually describe them in terms of their vague verbal labels. Autistics may describe them as explicit physical processes. Autistics may conceptualize them into terms that are no longer recognized as emotional, e.g. "Oh that, that feels just like intervalence charge transfer." If you use a lot of language that is different from the social script, then you are in your own world.



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24 Oct 2011, 3:18 pm

I'm never in my own world when it comes to social interaction. In fact I am too alert, and I take in everyone's conversations. I just have selective mutism, which makes me look like I'm in my own world, but inside I can hear everything and everyone, and I'm taking in information all the time.

But I think I do go into my own world in clothes shops, which is why half the time I'm not interested in the clothes. When I walk into a clothes shop, I tend to zone out, and I try to fake an interest in the clothes, but I'm not very good at it when I've zoned out. I find myself standing there looking at clothes that are sizes too big for me, or mens clothes, or childrens clothes, or old peoples clothes.....It makes me feel so stupid!

I often zone out to my ''fantasy world'', which is where I am on a beach with all the men I fancy, taking in turns dozing in their arms and just being this carefree every day with my gorgeous hot men. Wow......


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flyingdutchman
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24 Oct 2011, 6:23 pm

For me my own world is more like the way that I see things, which can be different from others, and also a different way of behaving and reacting to my environment, which can be odd at times. But this is probably what other people would see about me being in my own world. For myself being in my own world is more like a depersonalised view on things, always wondering whether the outside world is actually real.



CockneyRebel
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24 Oct 2011, 8:49 pm

To me, being in my own world is making myself happy by allowing myself to live in a time warp. Swinging London seems a lot safer than Langley does in 2011 and I might be right about this, because times have changed and people around the world have gotten more violent and disrespectful.


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syrella
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24 Oct 2011, 9:41 pm

I've been told that I'm in my own world sometimes. And quite honestly, there are times when I feel very "far away" when interacting with people... to the point where I might as well be from a different world! I think the reason why people will say this is because I'm quiet and don't say much, especially if the majority of the conversation is small talk. I just don't have terribly much to add to a conversation usually. Get me onto a subject I'm interested in, though, and I'll be able to participate (sometimes to the point where I won't be quiet!).

Anyhow, though, I guess people will say this to you because your world view is different from theirs. Perhaps they view you as existing in such a radically different manner than what they're used to. I don't think you need to take it as an insult, though. I think it's a good thing not to just be another member of a "herd" or have the same reactions as anyone else. That's what diversity is all about, after all.


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25 Oct 2011, 12:45 am

Outside of the box thinking. I get told that a lot and I think that's what people like about me. My friend certainly says 'I love you' every time I say something odd.

I'm in my own world too in the sense that I spend a lot of time thinking in my head while alone or even around people. My mum always asks me what's up. About 10 things really: floods in Thailand, Earthquakes in Turkey, my own sci-world, that book I last read, is this an extra sensory sensitive day, is this a hyposensitve day, when did I last eat and should I eat again, I hope my friend will be ok if I don't go to that concert, that's a good idea for a blog post, etc.

Most times it's being in my own sci-fi world which is a series I'm writing down. I'm actually not in it.


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25 Oct 2011, 1:18 am

Sora wrote:
The phrase "in her/his own world" is often used to describe an autistic person who appears to rarely initiate or respond to interaction.

Yet, I have been told that I appear "in my own world" during times in which I participated animatedly in interaction.

For some reason, I can be lively, responsive and actively initiating conversation but seem to give off the impression that I have a very unique perception that is very different from that others; that's what was meant by "in your own world".

Is there someone on here who can relate to this?

Truth to be told, having been told that was a little harsh on me at first. I didn't see how it could be. Prior to it, I had thought that my liveliness and the interactivity with other people made me very much a part of people's "world". My openness to stimuli has me see, hear, feel (so on) a lot more things of my environment than normal people to begin with.

How could I still make people think I am "not sharing their personal world" while I was doing all of that?

Back then that whole scene made me realise that while I am able to temporarily do many things less "typical" for autism and evoke a fleeting impression of "being a part of what's socially going on" I am, simply put, not a part because I seem to always retain my autistic perception.

That was about three years ago if my memory serves me right. I think that since then, I got good at being aware of that I see the world differently. Even in moments when I learnt to keep in mind how "the other normal side of the argument" of many everyday matters comes to be in normal people's minds.

Still working on it of course (is there ever an end to it?) because I'm interested in it.


Based on your posts, I'm guessing you might have a tendency to ramble in social interaction, and when people don't find it particularly interesting and you don't allow for much input nor actual reciprocal "interaction" with them, they accuse you of being in your "own little world" because you're not tending to their interest/"world".



swbluto
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25 Oct 2011, 1:22 am

btbnnyr wrote:
When you are animated during interactions, you probably come across as too animated for the social context. So you are projecting non-verbal cues that are unexpected to NTs, and NTs will sense that you are different, and say that you are in your own world. At the same time, you are probably not picking up on their non-verbal cues, so you are in your own world.

Verbally, you may be using language differently from NTs. You and an NT may describe the same experience in very different terms. For emotions, NTs usually describe them in terms of their vague verbal labels. Autistics may describe them as explicit physical processes. Autistics may conceptualize them into terms that are no longer recognized as emotional, e.g. "Oh that, that feels just like intervalence charge transfer." If you use a lot of language that is different from the social script, then you are in your own world.


This too. Not appropriately adapting and reacting to the group dynamic and following the rhythm and ebb and flow of conversation, along with not responding quickly enough and "appropriately enough" to the nonverbal cues, does set you up to being singled out as being "out there".



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27 Oct 2011, 2:23 am

btbnnyr wrote:
When you are animated during interactions, you probably come across as too animated for the social context. So you are projecting non-verbal cues that are unexpected to NTs, and NTs will sense that you are different, and say that you are in your own world. At the same time, you are probably not picking up on their non-verbal cues, so you are in your own


I too think that the quote above has it in a nutshell. How people perceive you may change depending on whether they know about your autism or not, or about autism/AS in general. If so, NTs will be looking for otherness and very likely find it. But if they don't know then it is likely to be your over enthusiastic joining in that people sense is at odds with how they interact. The main thing is not to let that bother you in any way.


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27 Oct 2011, 12:14 pm

my mom was always telling me I was off in my own little world.



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27 Oct 2011, 2:22 pm

Sora wrote:
I can be lively, responsive and actively initiating conversation but seem to give off the impression that I have a very unique perception that is very different from that others; that's what was meant by "in your own world".

Is there someone on here who can relate to this?


Yes. I have never been told this, because I work VERY hard to look like I fit in. But if I ever let down my guard people would see me as very, very strange.

I live in a different world. It is full of aliens who are all evil (but well meaning). In my world time does not flow, all the world's problems can be fixed fairly simply, but nobody cares (though they tell themselves they do). In my world all possible universes exist simultaneously, death does not exist (except in the most trivial way), I can earn one hundred trillion dollars, atoms are conscious, animals are people, and so on and so on.

I can demonstrate with high probability that nobody else inhabits this world. Yet. But they will.