Did your parents try to change you?

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When you were little, did your parents try to change you? I remember my parents tried to change me to become more like an NT and they actually believed that I would "become" like an NT in the future. This is probably why they never sent me to any autistic meet-ups or any autistic-oriented institution. They believed that that would not be good for me.

Nope...not a bit...

They definitely tried to make me more social and "normal".

No, my father was very aspish and unsocial and my mother went along because that's what you did then. The only thing they tried to change was to get me to be tidy. They tried every trick in the book,nothing worked.

Yes and no. Mom worked with me like teaching me how to talk, change my way of thinking so I could see things better about situations, working with being flexible. I wanted everything in the same spot and mom worked with me on that. She only fixed things that would make my life easier for my adulthood. She had always had me be with normal kids like when I did t ball, she refused to have me be in the special league and when she found out what kind of special ed I was in, she got me out of there and put me in my new school in a regular classroom, when I was 3-5, I was in a special school for kids with developmental delays but I was in a class with high functioning kids. Lot of them looked normal. But she hated my obsessions and would take them away and she didn't like me playing with younger kids. I wanted friends my own age but they were all boring and didn't want me around and younger kids liked the same things I liked and I wanted friends so little kids was all I had.

When I was in high school, mom found out I went to the resource room during lunch and be on the computer looking up Benny & Joon and looking at photos from the movie and reading reviews about the movie. We had an IEP meeting and then it was time for lunch so I went and then I came back and mom was still there and she said "Is this what you do during lunch?" and my teachers said that is what I do and they don't want me in there but they don't know how to tell me without upsetting me. Then Mom told me I needed to be out socializing with kids or else they will think there is something wrong with me and I need to be in there to be watched. Then I was sent out in the hallway thanks to my mother and it was that way ever since. I would just play my video games or listen to music in front of my locker. I was invited by a group of girls to be with them but I found it boring. I had to restrain talking about Benny & Joon so I quit hanging out with them. They quit inviting me anyway.

Sometimes my mom will try and get on my back about my life but I don't tell her about my personal life anymore. Last time she didn't like the idea of me watching Benny & Joon two times a day and listening to the soundtrack over and over and writing about the movie. So she told me I needed to go out, take walks, do other things like go to places, be with my husband and acting like my obsession was a bad thing. Then she threw Aspergers in my face (er ears) by saying whatever happened to me not letting it control me and she said I was letting it take over. So I'm done with my personal life.
She once got on my back about not having any friends when I was in Montana visiting her. She said I needed to socialize more and I finally said why is it so important to have friends. She said I would need someone I could talk to or what if there were emergencies, they be there for me like to watch my kids or in case something else happens and I need a ride. Okay so no wonder friendships are over rated and why friends are so important. But I still feel they aren't important. TBH, I have no idea what to do with friends. I am better with acquaintances. As a child it was easier because we played.

But after my diagnoses, things were a little easier. My mom wasn't mad about my obsessions anymore and she quit taking them away, she also quit getting mad at me about my emotions and me playing with younger kids. It was as if she needed a label to understand me better. She also left me be in my teens. She never had a problem with me doing lot of computer or video games or watching TV. It was the same way for my brothers too but they always had their friends.

Since my parents nor I had any idea what AS or Autism were, they were determined that i would be like everybody else.

By the time I was 20, I think they had realized it was a lost cause, but continued to badger me out of habit.

Now, my dad leaves me alone, but my mom still, past 70, believes that if she just keeps mentioning something over and over, I'll eventually cave and do what she's suggesting, even if its something I've been unable to do for fifty years.

Yes, but they had no idea what Aspergers was. Even my aunt, whose daughter is Autistic, refuses to listen to my diagnosis. She doesn't want me to use it as an excuse.

As a child I was hit often for my aspie traits, and reprimanded for my lack of eye contact, or interest in others.

My parents were encouraging of me in some ways, but used to make me feel very guilty about not making eye contact; a frequent response was "look at me! It's very disrespectful not to look at people when they are talking to you." I can now understand what they meant, since it's very hard for me to make eye contact (which I try to do as much as possible for the sake of functioning), and when I do so without reciprocation, I sometimes feel offended. I don't have too many strong memories of being stifled or forced into normalcy. From what I remember, my parents were fairly understanding of my eccentricities. I would show them how good I was at counting, by counting to one hundred, and if I thought they weren't listening, I would start over. I think they were pretty good humored about this. They liked how, due to some obsessive interests, I could be kept happy with little trouble; for example, they would bring me home a ski map and I study it for hours. The problem was that afterwards, I would ramble to them about all the names of the runs I had memorized. My biggest problems were doing things that my parents thought were rude, especially my stepmother. I can remember her working herself into a frenzy over how misbehaving and disrespectful I was, and I didn't understand why couldn't understand why she was such a b*tch. She would always tell me to "wipe that smirk off your face." I had no idea what she was talking about, to be honest. Sometimes I would run around and laugh, knocking things over, when I was afraid my parents were upset with me. I don't think they particularly liked chasing me around and dealing with my antics. I didn't feel good inside but I didn't show it, and they had trouble reading me a lot of the time. When I would walk around the yard for hours, twirling my hair, I think they liked it because, again, I was content and required little supervision or attention. On that note, I do remember being told repeatedly not to twirl my hair, but the more they told me not to the more I wanted to do it.

A little bit but not a lot. MY mom was quite forgiving of me as she was similar herself.

Yes and failed miserably

Yes, but alot of it I just could not succeed at.

i just kept disapointing them until mum gave up
at trying to get me to do the impossible at when
i was 13 or so.

Dad kept trying to do it for all this time until
maybe recently now that I'm 41 and live with
my brother now.

The last thing dad did was bitherbother me
about finding work, now that I have my own'
little business editing video I think he realises
that I need to do my own thing.

In the past dad tried to maek me not watch
happy things on tv, I just wate until he's gone
them watch them anyway, stupid sports and
buttface news are just too depressing for me
and made me miserable to be around.

If I live in a "free country" then why am I
not free to choose what to watch on telly
or wear on my shirt?

I am free to wear offencive things on my clothes
and cuss words but not Pooh and Tigger??

Freedom my bum.

Yes. Whilst I may not agree with all their methods, I don't blame them for trying. It's a parent's job to teach their child how to cope in the world.