I feel like I'm wasting my life

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I figured if anyone would be able to give me perspective here, you all would. Here's the scoop. I have Auspergers.... and a pretty severe case of it. My doctor has told me I'm unable to work because of it.... I live off of SSI. Yet it's frusterating because I know how smart I am and how much potentail I have, but because it doesn't fit in the tiny ittsy bittsy box of 21st century modern thought I am forced to waste it all! I have no open doors for anything because I lack the peice of paper that tells the world I'm smart. It's just frusterating!

Another thing is I can't really connect with people..... I always feel like there's this "wall" there..... so not only am I wasting my life, but I'm doing it very much alone. And let me be real for a second...... I wanna get married someday...... yet I highly doubt I'll ever find a girl who will see past what is on the surface.

I consider my auspergers to be one of my greatest gifts..... but also one of my most burdensome curses.

Step one is always to make a commitment. You want change, but you're too scared to do it. There are easy ways though; voluntary work, community service etc. Start somewhere with pre-designed ways of interacting with people and a specific goal. Think of what you actually want to do and make an intelligent commitment in that direction.

People will hate me for saying this but f**k it, I'm not here long; I did that. I joined University Officer Training Scheme here in the UK (where you undergo military training whilst in university) and it basically kick-started me thinking that AS is very often a diagnosis slapped on people in the absence of an incurable condition. Now my regiment's doctor does not consider me to have AS and I am quite sure that when I get back in touch with the team who originally diagnosed me they will agree.

Start with a commitment. Throw yourself in the deep end, and everything else will follow. It's to keep going when there's something on the horizon.

Edit: irrelevant

Last edited by FaithHopeCheese on 05 Dec 2009, 11:15 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Here's how to make your life meaningful right away:

On-Line Volunteer Work

I've been doing volunteer work for them for years. These days I'm proofreading for a hospital in Bangladesh. I was feeling useless - that's how remembered to volunteer. The thing is, it's such a small thing for me to do. But it's a glitch in their system and they can't go on till they get this little thing done - by me. Which makes me feel very useful indeed.

I really recommend it. All you need is a computer.

The individual who told you nasty things about your life could only have been saying that you're not likely to have a life matching his life, which is all he knows. Forget about him, unless he can get you income or housing or something. I live on a disability income in my own apartment. I do not match the world out there, but I'm finding and creating a world where I (and others like me) can be comfortable. Could you make a similar project wherever you are?

Please calm down.
It's not that bad even when the doctor suggest to not work.
If you stay at home, you can write some novel or some other things.
If you think you are smart, you can learn a skill, such as another language or some computer or painting or photographer thing.
You don't have to always show people that you are smart.
When you write something or draw something or code something that are really cool, you can put them on the website.
And there will be someone who likes your work.
Then they will realize how smart you are .
And you may have the chance to go back work if you want.

Just be sure that if you are exist in the world, you are exist in vain.
God give you life to enjoy life not to waste life.
But you have to find the right way for you to enjoy you own life.
Maybe it will be different as others.

Your doctor is wrong. Worst case scenario you are just unable to have a 'standard' job.

maybe try for a job where you can work from home. Many benefits with a job like that.

wow!! I didn't even stuff like this existed!! Could you link me to some sites you know..... I wanna get started right away!! This is quite literally a dream come true.

I write alot of poetry and the occasional allegory on my blog...... I've had a few random people comment on it and I consider myself quite good at it....... I'm not sure I'd ever wanna make money off of it but...... writing a novel isn't such a bad idea

true..... but the problem comes with not being able to find a job that fits my mold...... it's hard to find a way to work online........ and there aren't very many jobs out there that are "work at your own pace"

do you have any suggestions?

There are charity and maybe government organisations out there that will provide assistance in helping people with disabilities find a job. Right now I'm just beginning that process myself and I don't know how well they work but I have to give them a try.

Can you write? You can pick up some walking-around money (not a whole income, but having earned it changes your perspective on life)

Guru Freelance
eLance Freelance

You can get a real university degree on-line

Athabasca University on-line

I do one course at a time. I sign up, pay them, they send me a box of materials. I communicate with my professor on-line or by an 800 (free) phone number - they're pretty sophisticated, since they teach computers - they've probably got every communication ever invented

Also you can choose whether to work in small groups like a real class or alone with the prof.

They are *so* helpful if you have a disability - I took my exams in my basement on my own computer with a supervisor that I hired - a local teacher.

Re having a disability - if it's for helpful stuff, I say it. But "disability" does *not* mean "defective" - remember that!

Career suggestions:

computers
librarian

Complete the following sentence:
"If there's anything I'm good at its ____ ."
It might not seem relevant, career-wise, but it will lead somewhere.

Life doesn't come in boxes, "Poof! You are now an astronaut!"
Life is something that unfolds it's a path, relax, you're doing fine.
Just keep moving, keep getting new things into your life.

This is important:
YOU ARE NOT SICK!! !
"a severe case of it" - that's nonsense -
you don't have "a case" of anything, you're different, like the rest of us here

Let this doc stabilize your life - disability income, place to live, great.
- a solid base from which you can explore the possibilities.

you all have been more helpful than I dared hope for thank you so much

I've bookmarked both links. Thank you!!