any one interested in middle school?

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how do integrated ASD kids want to be treated by their neurtypical peers?

I would say they would like to be befriended and not abused. This is unfortunately not the case for many. Are you a teacher in middle school? I think one thing that would help if the administration realized bullying goes on but often in subtle ways. Too often they assume that because they don't see it that there isn't a problem. Kids are afraid to report it for fear of escalating the abuse. My son is in middle school and is miserable going to school every day.

I am a mom and teacher. I want to educated NT kids about ASD and answer questions to help with that very situation. I think bullying IS an issue. I can think back to a time when I was in HS (in the old days- the '80s) and we had a boy I now assume was ASD. My friend and I tried to talk to him, knowing he was scared of girls. In hind sight, I KNOW this was bullying, although I NEVER would have thought it at the time. We were really just curious i about what the deal really was with him. I want to help some of that.

I am happy to hear it.

Here are some questions:
what is hard about middle school to an ASD kid?
How can I help an ASD peer w/o embarrassing them?

First of all, no one likes to be told they have a 'disorder'. When you present a condition to others calling the person that has it a 'disorder' it discounts the person you have labled with the term.

good point. what words should I use?

Let's look at it this way for a moment. what do you actually want to convey to your NT students about the Aspies and Auties you have in your class, or they might meet in their lives? How you approach this will set the tone for their lives, which I am sure you are aware.

So, what is it you want to convey in your teaching?

well... 1st I think ignorance results in ignorant behavior- and there is enough of that in Middle shoools on a good day. and look at my use of ASD- see what I mean?

I would like to define behaviors and sensitivities typical of AS students that are mainstreamed. Now I know "typical" is a difficult idea for any of us (NT or not) but just general info, basically. Then I would like to present how NT's relate to the world vs. how non-NTs do.(things like eye contact, reading body language, inference, sarcasm) Next I would like to give some specific examples of what NTs should or shouldn't do when relating to non-NTs. I envision this in a six column brochure with a cover and graphic on page 1, page 2 for defining AS, page 3 for a snap shot into living as a non NT, page 4 for what non NTs say they would like from life in middle school and how NTs fit in with that, and page 5 for Q/As relating to the issue (I am interviewing NTs and looking for answers ) The number one questions I hear is how is your life different from mine.

I was directed to two terriffic links from another person. I am grateful for any help.

http://dudeimanaspie.blogspot.com/

since you are a moderator- in the forum Greenturtle gives permission to anyone to reproduce- if I properly cite him it is cool to use it? I am not getting paid or professionally publishing it. What about including a link in the brochure?

For me middle school (junior high at that time, where I lived) was a time when other kids my age seemed to magically acquire a lot of social grace that I didn't have. It confused me a great deal. I started emulating others at that time, trying to fit in. I had no concept of how to make friends, how to enter a conversation already in progress, what to do with myself on the days when those I normally hung out with weren't around. I would wander the school grounds in a daze at lunch time, sometimes. I finally discovered the library was available, and would escape there to read if those I hung out with weren't around.

I say "those I hung out with" now, but at the time I thought of them as friends. I know now that it wasn't an ordinary friendship. They were just more friendly to me than others were, so I felt comfortable sitting with them during breaks or lunch time, or following them around, standing by while they conversed. I usually didn't say much. But I was with people who were familiar to me. I'm certain they thought I was quite odd, but at least they weren't cruel.

What would have helped? I like to think that knowing I wasn't a freak, or alone in my social awkwardness, would have helped. I grew up in an era when no one I knew had ever heard of high-functioning autism or Asperger's. I had little idea what it was until two months ago, myself.

Maybe it would have helped to have some supervised social get-togethers during school hours. For instance, a class that was all about getting to know each other, to open up, to talk about friendship and what it was.

I think it's funny now, that we had "social studies" -- but that was usually about watching films about other cultures. I needed to learn about MY culture -- how to interact, and the fact that different people have different styles of interaction. As an adult in my thirties I learned about Jung's personality typing -- in the form of Meyers-Briggs and Kiersey testing. It was a revelation -- I could at last understand that I was an introvert, and that was a huge step forward in understanding why I was different.

In my former workplace, for a command strategic planning meeting, we had a facilitator who used MBTI and tested all the participants and provided training in the type indicators. This helped us as a group communicate more effectively with each other. I was in a tiny minority there, an INFP in a group of mostly ESTJs, and the facilitator was careful to point that out and insist that they as a group NEEDED me because I had such a different perspective on the problems we needed to deal with.

It might be less stigmatizing for AS kids to first go that route, teach kids about personality types (which are all considered "normal"), and then to move into specifics like the autism spectrum, social phobia, anxiety, etc.

I also think some simple rules of etiquette -- which can be learned -- are also a beautiful way to learn how to interact with each other peaceably and considerately. At one point in my life I opened up an etiquette book and just started reading. I found that it fascinated me and also provided an eye opener about certain aspects of social interaction that I hadn't thought about before in quite that way.

thank you for your generous reply. I will definitely include some information about personality types. I think that is a great idea- I know many kids have access to that type of quiz on Facebook- I'm sure it is inaccurate even though it is called Meyers-Briggs- but getting them thinking about this type of thing young is a great idea.

I appreciate your descriptions of your feelings during junior high. For what it is worth, I am an extrovert in the extreme- esp. in my introverted husband's opinion- but I felt all the things you described in junior high. It is such an unpredictable stage of life when it comes to social interaction. Girls, in my experience, were my best friend one day and thought I was weird the next. When my "friends" were unavailable I frequently wandered around lonely during free times like recess. I think people feel that way during adolescence no matter what.

That is what intrigues me so much about this project. I hope to find that link between kids.

Regarding the social studies you refer to- beyond history and geography- what a great idea. We try do do some of that in our church confirmation program, but public school needs it too. We address it in our elementary schools, I believe but we really lose it in Middle Schools when we move away from the single classroom teacher to the multiple teacher school day. A sad loss of home room and the connection between people and building a cohesive group of people that work together. I know there has been some talk about changing the Junior High, Middle School concept yet again. Some school districts are now putting 6/7/8th grade back at the elementary schools to maintain the sense of community and even foster leadership among this age group rather than isolate them in separate buildings. Maybe that would help... a smaller school with a broader age range and the same teachers around everyday for 8 years --who knows the effect on social learning that would have?

thank you again. I will be using your ideas in my project.

Hi busyteachermom, if you are interested in using my project in your brochure, you have permission. My credits are listed on my blog. I should say, though, that "Dude, I'm An Aspie" isn't intended for kids, it is for adults. There's implied profanity in there, so you may wanna think twice before bringing it into school.

One of the ideas I've been kicking around is to do a version for kids.

thank you green turtle- I was thinking of using just one or two panels, esp. the one "not weird just wired differently" I will send you a copy of my project when I am done if you are interested.... Please feel free to give constructive comments.

Peers, how are they peers?