Understanding Jokes

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One of the areas that I seems pretty aspie. I don't get a lot of jokes very well.

As a kid, I didn't get when people often were just teasing or joking. I reacted with scream fests and meltdowny stuff. For example, one kid would say "you're ugly!" just to tease. Instead of reacting with something like "well you are too!" I would say "Leave me alone!" and start to cry and throw a tantrum. I thought someone else wouldn't say you were ugly unless it was true.

Nowadays, I can mostly tell a joke, but not all the time. On one messageboard I got to with some joke topics that are not to be taken seriously, I like to respond serious to them to be funny, but sometimes I'm just playing safe in case it really was serious. Actually, I have turned into troll fodder on this board recently, cause of how seriously I respond...

Today talking with someone, I coughed a bit. She said "Glad I got my H1N1 shot!" I said "Don't worry about that, it's lingering bronchitis" She said "That was a joke"

I was so embarrassed... anyway, how to deal with stuff like this?

I just shrug it off. Part of being me and I accept it.

That's not a big deal. I can see how you would respond that way. Don't feel bad; if it was a joke, it wasn't funny.

I don't have much of a sense of humor. I saw a broadway show today and was one of the few that did not laugh, maybe because I knew what was supposed to be said and I never understood what was so funny in the first place. What was with all the flatulence jokes? I knew they play wasn't going to be as good as the critics said it was but all the wind breaking jokes made it seem as if it was written by a child. Why do NTs seem to think jokes about bodily functions and reprodutive methods are so funny in the first place?

I usually get them and I have a pretty strange sense of humors. I have the reverse problem, people don't get my jokes
By the way, there are ages that I don't smile for a joke, I get the jokes but I don't enjoy them usually.

I seem to habitually reply to jokes in a serious manner. If I try to work out why I do this I think its because I don't have any clue how to respond. Most of the time I won't find the joke funny even if I do manage to realize the other person is joking. Therefore it's difficult to laugh/smile without it seeming forced/awkward. Then the other person will feel the need to tell me "that was a joke". I really have no idea what I'm supposed to do as I'm not the kind of person that's full laughter and witty retorts. I'll never be entertaining company to NT's. I also feel like people think I'm an idiot when they tell me "that was a joke".

I experience the exact same problem with answering seriously to jokes, and you two just helped me discover why I do. I don't know how to otherwise respond, and I play safe--just in case.

I can't make up comebacks to anyone teasing me personally, and the easiest kind of comeback (when I can tell they're joking) is just to repeat their joke, addressed to them. Sometimes I respond to jokes with a sincere answer, taking them seriously. I also spend a LOT of times where I think someone is joking (based on the context of the situation, and the person's statement doesn't make sense) but they're really being serious...

I get the "that was a joke" line probably three times every week, on average. It is frustrating!

As for advice for you, Angnix, I would recommend that unless you have the patience and effort to study comedy and see how others pull it off, and when/where joking is appropriate, you might as well continue responding seriously "to play it safe." I might also recommend that you subtly practice telling jokes with your friends. Maybe even ask them about jokes. For now, I wish you good luck!

I understand this issue. Tho has anyone blatently said 'I understand the joke, I just don't find it funny' and had people insist you would find it funny if you did understand? I find that much more annoying that 'it's just a joke', it hasn't happened for ages.

Yea. The trouble is I really don't find most people's jokes funny so it's all an act. Sometimes I doubt whether other people really find office-type banter/humor funny. I believe part of it is just a social game like everything else. People are just fake. I have a sense of humor around family and around friends I've had in the past. It's just that the type of humor I have isn't really appropriate in a more general setting. It's only appropriate in a more limited setting with people I know very well.

I'm a typical aspie but I seem the opposite to all of you with jokes. I take everything as a joke. You all may think ''Jo's lucky, she doesn't take everything literally, so she can't be boring.'' That may be true - but it's not so good. When I take everything as a joke, (or some sort of humour), I laugh, and sometimes it's at a wrong time. If people were telling eac other something serious, I usually think they're joking and I laugh.
Also, if something nasty was said to me, (especially by another grown-up), I often would laugh because I would automatically think it's a joke, and that makes me sound as though I'm too soft with people and would put up with any rude remarks said at me.
For example, at work I was standing by the coffee machine with the manager, who I was talking to. Then another worker came up to the manager to ask her something, and the manager turned to answer her. Then they started talking about some new woman who had started at work, and the other worker said to the manager, ''I don't like that new woman''. Because I was nearby, I laughed and asked, ''why?'' (because I enjoy gossip) and the worker turned round to me and said, ''I wasn't speaking to you!'' I thought she was just joking so I laughed and walked away smiling. But then I asked myself if she was being serious, and a few minutes later I found out she was. That made me feel upset aswell as stupid. Silly me, I thought. If only I guessed she was being serious right away, then I could have looked upset and shocked and she could have felt more guilty.

So - that's the snag about taking everything as a joke.

I can appreciate fart jokes......probably they're funny because it's one of those taboos that has no obvious reason for being taboo - what are we supposed to do, slowly and carefully let it out without making a sound? I'd have thought that was more antisocial than allowing Nature's audible warning. And the distraction of trying to hide it is probably difficult for Aspies. So jokes about farting amuse me because it's a rebellion against a pointless taboo.....I dig Terrence and Philip. Quote from Blackadder: "ah, you English and your toilet humour! To us Germans it is a mundane thing, but to you, it is the basis of an entire culture!"

"Reproductive method" jokes rather annoy me though. True, the taboos on sex were ridiculous when I was young, but at least the reasons for sexual control are more understandable. I get annoyed at the expectation that mentioning sex at all always deserves a laugh. Maybe for schoolkids that's understandable, but generally the rest of us know what sex is.....some of us have even done it. But I do find some sex jokes pretty amusing - full marks to the guy who coined the phrase "tonsil hockey" - you see, that's got some creative and artistic merit. Especially when applied to Bill Clinton, who deserved it for cheating on his wife.

I have a strong sense of humour, though it only works on the right audience, and there are many people who just can't amuse me with their attempts at comedy. I tend to go for the dark, sardonic, satirical kind of gag, though I also often love stuff that's just plain silly.

One of the worst annoyances on earth to ME, is stand-up comedy. I don't find it funny that a Polish guy goes in a bar, and the light bulb burns out, or whatever they claim is supposed to happen. I also can't get past all the foul language in so many stand-up acts. Leave me out of it please!

On the other hand, I do sometimes appreciate dry humor in a spontaneous situation. Such as when a newsman makes a pun about an issue, or someone makes a funny (but not hurtful) observation about someone else, etc.

I never laugh at movies or TV shows, but some of them are funny. I just don't need to laugh to appreciate them. My wife thought I didn't enjoy watching TV and movies, since I don't show emotion. She believes me when I tell her I do in some cases. It's awkward though.

Charles

I don't get jokes either. My friends friend suggested chicken soup and a soda (for my friends vomiting) I said soda wouldn't be good she said it was a song. So I felt stupid. Also last night at my sister's house for dinner (while not a joke) I feel kind of bad her friend is ill and we were talking we better put a rush on our dream home that motorcycle etc. because you don't know what will happen tomorrow we were having a good laugh and turning a bad thing into a positive (I guess that's ok and good)

i totally understand jokes/sarcasm.

I was like that, as a kid. I should have told my teasers that they hated their favourite colours, when they said that I hated green.

I usually respond to everything in a joking manner.
It's been my social tool for all my life.
Turns out it's a great romantic relationships tool, too.
So I made a pretty fine choice.