i hate to admit this but

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i am jelouse of a relative of mine. my goodness, jelousy is nasty. this is whats going on ok i feel delayed. hes married and i just found out hes gonna have a baby and hes two years younger than me! jesus christ! wheni saw all this right now i felt like some burt waffles and then jelousy crept in like a green vine strangling me. now dont get me wrong, obviously i have very fond memories of this relative and i think hes a great guy and eveything but wow i mean his life is perfect! have you ever been so jelouse you could commit a crime? this is exactly how i feel right now to be quiet frank i wanna b***h slap his awesome life

has anyone else had this happen to them?

I have only been jealous of other people's talents, never the fact they had a great life.
And usually the people I am jealous of tends to be friends or acquaintances, people I could never hurt no matter how much I wanted to, but I would only wish they were someone I hated.

well the thing is this guy is just about as geeky as me exept he can make friends, went to a university and evrything seems to be going well with him i guess its a good thing. and once this shock wears off hopefully i wont be as jelouse his wifes family seems pretty normal, wich in my family is anything but normal. my dad is 50 doesnt work, lives with his sister and basically doesnt have anything to do with me or my sisters. reading my relatives facebook thing and his wifes family are leaving messages on there saying i love you mom! see you new years! and my relatives motherin law is all xoxox0 your such a great son in law (her husbands name) and i are so pround to call you are son in law~! jesus i mean its like wow! are people really like this?

Jealousy is the most counter productive feeling a person can experience. The energy a person puts into jealousy can be easily be put into use to better themselves. Jealousy mostly indicates insecurity of their own ability and potential.

You can use it as an opportunity. How did he get that great job? How did he find a woman he loved so much he wanted to create a child with her? If you know the answers, I think you can have a great chance to have the things he has. Sorry if this did not help. Hope it did though.

thanks for that well thought out reply. i can see what our saying, and once my jets cool i probably wont even care about his totally awsome life. naturally i have thought about "accidently" deleting him off of my facebook because why would he care? i doubt he would. he'd be like "oh" and and go snuggle up to his pregnant wife, while i would return home once this evil spirit leaves me i'll try to make more sence of what you just said but im feeling pretty green right now and vines are comming out of my hands

If you can admit it,
look it right in the eye and call it by it’s real name,
then you probably have it under control.

You’ll eventually work your way through it
and in the meantime you won’t do anything stupid.

That is called ENVY.

And right you are, Richard deserves the good stuff too.

You have to do something about Richard, making babies takes talking to girls. That takes going out where girls are.

It does help to develop skills, make money, that sort of stuff.

Becoming aware of your wants is a first step.

And a Merry Dust Storm and Happy Blizzard to You!

inventor your absolutley right, i need to stop my complaning. ive figured this out: the more money you have the more problems. so there really is no need for me to be jelouse because actually it all comes down to perception on what a good life is and if i wanted that, i could probably go out and get it in some way shape or form, hopefully but now that i think of it, its totally turning me off

I do not feel so much this way, but I do feel envious of all my friends who have managed to get married and have children as this is something I have dreamed of since childhood. I do not really mind the fact that I don't and may never have children, but it sometimes bothers me that I am not married. In fact my envy of others tends to translate into bitterness. I tell others that I think marriage is a waste of time and a silly thing to do in this day and age, when really what I mean is 'I know that I am never going to get married and have a family, I feel envious and sometimes resentful of others for getting what I will never have, and so I tell myself it's all a waste of time to make myself feel better and to accept the fact that it will never be'. I am with someone and have been with him now for nearly 3 and a half years. He does not want children (which I can live with easily) nor does he want to get married (something I sometimes find more difficult to live with). But I am in love with him and am lucky to have him. All my previous partners have not fully accepted me for who I am whereas my current boyfriend does. Plus no-one has ever really wanted to marry me or have children with me, so I don't expect anyone ever will. This is a reality that I am slowly getting used to, as there is no point continuing to upset myself over a fantasy stemming from childhood. That does no-one any good. I have now resolved to simply show that I am happy for others who get to marry.

aww, fiz i know exactly what you mean. *throws some happyness your way*

fiz, my heart hears yours. I, too, just brush off old heartache as if it never mattered what I wanted for my life, because I got what I got. The support of a family, husbands, children, all mean little to me because of how I have had to down play the importance of it in my life.
I am sorry you tend towards bitterness, I sometimes do, too. I distract myself, usually.

Merle

Like DaWalker said in the quote that I transferred from my sig to the extras section of my profile in order to use my sig to try to influence the ads that pop up... "Envy is admiration in denial." So if you admire someone's abilities, and you know that you admire them, then it's not really so much envy.

On the other hand.. my sister is better than me, and I hate her for it. It's jealousy, it's envy, it's nasty. But she never had a problem with rubbing her superiority in my face, and so I just plain hate her for being so much better than me.

I envied my old high school mates who have kids. I was excited I had one coming too and then I lost it and it was depressing for a a few weeks to see all those preggers and moms with their new babies and depressing to see my old school mates with their babies. But I got over it.

When I was 18, I found out my brothers had girlfriends and I felt ret*d. They had all these friends and had partners and I felt younger than them, behind. I had never had a boyfriend before back then.
My brother was also very smart and good with math and I felt ret*d because he could do school work I couldn't do. He did above grade level schoolwork.

But there are things I did before my brothers did. I got married before them, my lisence, moved out, moved away. See there are things I did before them. Hey I even got knocked up before they knocked someone up. I probably had sex before them too.

Back when I loved in Montana, I envied girls from my high school who were married and having kids. I had a partner then but I dumped him. I still envied them.

Most of the cousins I grew up with are either married and/or have kids or are well on their way to it... never really felt jealous of them. Good for them, I figure. I don't want to project my own self-loathing on anyone I care for... I remember these people since when we were kids.

Hi Richardbenson. I read your post that began this thread...but I haven't followed it too much since then. But I want to tell you something in regards to your feeling of jealousy here. There's nothing to feel jealous about. We are all individuals with strengths and weaknesses. I have strengths...and I have weaknesses. The same with your friend...and the same with you. I am sure you have strengths that your friend wishes he had. We can't dwell on these things that makes us unhappy...we must dwell on things that make happiness in us.

I like to compare our life as having a toolbox. In this toolbox is a special set of tools to help us in our own individual lives. You and I our autistic, so our toolboxes are indeed special. We are capable of some pretty neat things that many other people cannot do. When we want to, we can emit a really intense focus beam into things that fascinate us. You list fine wine and dining as an interest in your profile. If this is indeed your special interest...then think of your possibilities. You could become a great food critic or wine tester. If you have other interests, think of what you can do with those things.

What I am trying to say here is that we with autism are capable of great things if we channel our energy into them. But this can take time for some. I taught English in high school for 19 years and got highly frustrated and upset by the lack of direction of most of my students. Now that I have taught the gifted for 3 years, I have found much satisfaction in their sense of focus. The gifted are very similar to AS. In fact, when a person is both gifted and AS, they are considered twice gifted. To be twice gifted means you have two gifts. One of those gifts is AS. If you are not gifted and have AS, then I see you as gifted. AS in my opinion is a gift that we need to unwrap, accept, nurture, and then allow it to work in our lives.

You are young yet. You know what you have to work with in your life. You can find how to allow AS to work in your life. I was 44 years old when I discovered I had AS. Before that time, I had not heard of AS. I knew I was different...but I didn't know what to do with this difference because I didn't know how to let AS work in my life. Now I coming to understand how to let it work for me. This is why I say "My journey has just begun." It is my journey in my awareness of autism in me. I realize the reasons for why I have acted the way I have in the past. I no longer worry about this. There is a reason. Now I look at the pleasant things...the good things...and I enjoy my life in them. Richard---if you can do this, you will have something special that very few people have. Do you realize how unhappy a lot of people are? I am talking of NTs here because many of them are unhappy. Many of them are searching for who they are. I believe we know who we are. At least we have that. Some really great things have come from we autistics. We are noted for being able to achieve wonderful things when we focus on them. Find your gifts...and you will never have the need to feel jealous of anyone.

I envied many people, even my family since they had somebody that actually loves them for who they are and already taken and I was the only one who is having problems and unsure where i'am and sometimes would of ended up single which this mostly envies me... But I don't get as frustrated... Most the times, I managed to hold it in and think of another alternative to that.

I also felt like I was worthless and stupid to do anything.... My family was also more intelligent than me at practically most things and plus I can't even do some of the practical things and I envy them that they know more than me and not feeling mentally and physically drained while sociallising with people, its not such a problem on here or online as such.

I'm sure there is something they would envy you about? Maybe because of the fact that you have more intelligence in one thing you are obsessed with or photographic memory (if you do have)... You never know?


superboyian.