Dealing With the Holidays

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I have not come across a topic like this yet (if there is one please direct me towards it).

Anyway, tips for dealing with the holidays? I think it's a hard time for most people on the spectrum.

This will probably be the first Christmas I've spent with my family in two years or so. I've managed to get most of my closest family gifts. I don't really get into the holiday spirit as much as everyone else. I usually focus on the food and drink... if anything, the holidays are a good time to splurge on a high quality rib roast, oysters, lobster, and expensive beer.

For anyone who is unable or unwilling to just ignore them altogether, I suggest keeping the expectations very low. I have heard rates of depression and suicide greatly increase *after* the holidays when people's desires or expectations have not been met. Personally, I do not expect to get anything at all out of "the holidays", and I do not accept the expectations of others who think I should at least try. Keeping expectations down also makes it much easier to keep projections (of bad things to come) down and to actually appreciate any smaller pleasures that possibly *do* come!

You're all scrooges
Just make the most of the christmas holidays, whatever time you spend with family or whatever just make the most of it.

I'm with you.
It absolutely never lives up to the hype.
Also, I have serious philosophical issues with all the consumerism.
I was probably about 9 or 10 when that started.
I'm seriously thinking of writing an Aspie book, with a working title of "The Santa Splinter."
(Like a splinter in your mind...)
Why, for 53 years I've put up with it now.
When you say something that you know for a fact is false,
with the conscious intention of tricking someone, that is called "lying."
When a whole bunch of people do it, it's called a "conspiracy."

Just doing stuff I like intstead of being lived by other people

Whiskey, not too much though because then it can make things worse.

Just Don't Participate! has been my motto for years.

Though now I have a girlfriend, so I've unfortunately been cleaning, buying and making gifts, making advent calendars, and the whole madness. As a reward for all that work I get to spend 3 days with her family. I sincerely hope I won't go crazy, as I know she takes great joy in it (or at least am supposed too.) I just wished for once I could have a celebration that I enjoyed.

what would the perfect Aspie holiday look like?

See, I like receiving presents. I don't have too much of an outerfamily so parties are not a big deal. Yet I completely obsess over it every year. If something, even Christmas cards, are expected in the mail I'm unable to do any task but walk in circles sleep and worry over it.

If I see presents I start lining them up or stacking them or carrying them around with me. So this year no presents are out. But most of my problems are with anxiety. All these things happening, even things coming in the mail. Then there is Christmas day.. and what to eat these days.. and then I make lists of it all but then I obsess over if the list isn't good enough..

If you are under 18 you can't just give the advice of "don't participate" and that's all. I feel sick.

The defintion of holiday is "time away from work for leisure". My first answer was a time to spend to yourself, alone, all day with your interests.

But then there is a problem. Some apies have jobs related to their interest. And the schedule change is just too much. So the perfect Aspie holiday, is no holiday at all.

No Christmas or any other holiday here, just another day, no difference whatsoever.

You know, I kinda agree - no holiday at all. People can buy me presents any time of year

Don't talk or get involved in sustained socialization and keep to yourself. IF they get all bitchy about "not being sociable", point out they'd probably complain and whine if you were honest when certain subjects not considered socially acceptable came up.

Well if you're angry.

i suspect there is a good reason why many have the consumption of alcohal

For me, visual problems I have have been the worst problem, not routines, also my hyperacusis. I have had to go to the mall almost every day to either buy presents or run some sort of errand for my mother, and malls suck when you have hyperacusis.. the noise... thankfully I have got all the presents now.. but I have to go to the mall again tomorrow to pick up my mother's dress which is being altered so more mall fun...

So for me Christmas day will be mostly relaxing, except for my parents being home as they always seem to be annoyed and freaking out over little things.. I hope they will be happy on Friday and more relaxed... also visit to relatives which is a little uncomfortable and scary... but oh well. That is how it is. I think hopefully it will end the way it always does though, with people lying around, bloated from too much food, watching some Christmas special on TV.