Sometimes I feel SO angry...

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Sometimes I feel so angry it's as if I can barely contain it. I feel like exploding...and worse, I feel like hurting someone or something. I've never actually hurt anyone (other than hitting or kicking a few times) while angry but I am afraid someday I really will. This anger is directed mostly at my family: mom, dad, brother. I just don't know what to do. The anger I feel is suppressed so often that I am afraid someday it'll all come out and someone will be hurt badly.

What do I do? How can I calm down?

I'm 16 years old.

Sounds a bit like a meltdown, they can make me really angry too. Best way too calm down is to isolate yourself, go somewhere else and cool down. Reading can help me or just going to bed.

It is difficult but now I can recognize it a bit and know when I must take my rest.

Sometimes I feel really angry like that and there is nothing that will make me feel better, but I just try to be alone until it passes. It always helps to cry....

Good communication helps. Structured and predictable routines help with the stress and may be good for an Aspie.

So you think it could be a meltdown? I guess that makes some sense. Do you have any suggestions for dealing with it when escaping from people is not an option, for instance, at school?

I used to get that way, when I was your age. I didn't like my peers, and I thought that my teachers were all a bunch of losers. I used to spend time alone, doing homework, reading and working on my art.

How long does each "period of anger" last?

If its only for a short period like a few hours then I used to be the same.

The way I solved it was by listening to music (in particular a Stereophonics album I have) and/or go out for a walk by myself for a couple of hours. I'd imagine going for a jog or running might help too (at least it might for me). Nowadays if I start to feel even a bit angry/frustrated or over stimulated i usually do one of the two or both

- Lower your sensory stimulation. If you're at home, go to your room, kill the lights and shut the curtains. You might want to use some earplugs too.

- Think through why you are angry, and the next time some crap starts up, say calmly what is wrong. It helps you feel better if you can express yourself.

- Like others said, listening to music helps.

-

Ask to go to the bathroom so you can have a few minutes alone to calm down.

Thank you, everyone. I'm glad to see that I am not alone and that I can control this.

The "anger periods" can last minutes to a full day. But usually it's between 1-4 hours.

Isolation is a good technique for me, though it often isn't enough. I have a punching bag that I turn to on occasion...the physical release of beating on something is sometimes required for me.

Isolation seems like it would be sufficient for me in most cases. When I get to feeling very angry, I also get the urge to just be alone.

I have felt this way a few times, but it's very rare.

You know, I can see how that might help. After all, I love to lay in my room in the dark with no sound. I'll have to try this next time I feel angry.

Running.

When I was a teenager I would get so mad I would literally 'see red'. Next thing I knew I'd done some serious social damage upon myself, haha.

I ran when I was upset. Or walk. I'd walk for hours in the night sometimes. Not the safest thing for a girl but I never particularly cared about my own safety.

Things to remember:
All teenagers get furious. None are very adept at dealing with it.
The two rules of anger are 1) DO NOT physically hurt yourself (no insane driving, no drugs, no jumping off buildings etc) and 2) DO NOT physically hurt another person.

Not myself, Not another.

Ripping up a fat book, like a phone book, helps.
Kicking a fence or pole
Screaming a loud scream into a pillow
Colouring a crazy angry picture and snapping the crayons as you do it
Running
Getting into a hot shower
Ripping apart old clothes
Going online and venting
Singing really loud to some angry rock music

Dealing with it in a group can be difficult. Last time at work I said I had a difficult assignment and would not want to be disturbed; but that was only a minor case. Another time I said I needed to do some menial task and tried to get out. At school saying you want to study could be case. But probably people guessed I was near breakdown, because it took me a lot of effort to excuse myself and my face tells too much about my moods.

People used to make me so angry that I would hit them. They would make a joke, I would take it has an insult, an uncontrollable rage would rise from the pit of my stomach and pump my very being, and I would hit them. No wonder then that I could never keep a friend!

Looking back, it feels like all the time I was angry with myself - especially over social situations. I would torture myself for hours about being so stupid, and worthless. I was so angry with myself. No wonder I never liked myself!

What I've learned as I've got older is that this rage is not uncontrollable. I meditate on the anger. I try to accept that the anger is in my body - that the anger arises from my body - and that my mind does not have to be angry. I let the rage go - and I choose to not act upon it. I don't have to let it take over. This used to take a tremendous amount of will, but recently it has become a lot easier to manage. This might be a path that you might consider.