.do you refuse to do stuff more often than you agree?

Post Reply New Topic

this is a weird question but I always see the opposite of this in self-help books. people are always going on about how people shouldn't be afraid to turn stuff down, to say they can't help with this or that event or project or volunteer or whatever because they are over extended. I am the complete opposite, I have a knee-jerk habit of saying no and not ever participating in things, because of being around people and the feeling of anxiety and being over-stimulated. Sometimes I wonder, where is my self- help book...where is my pity, lol. I should probably be more of a 'human doing' rather than a human being, but I just automatically always turn things down.

i automatically say "no thanks" to most group activities.
When I was younger and I was living in a miasma of alcohol and drug stupor to deal with my ASD I could attend group things. I usually failed abysmally at fitting in.

In my natural state - which is free from all substance, I am what you would call "reclusive" with occasional ventures out.
I cannot imagine a life of too much group activity.

However, in 2010, i am recommitting to some 12 step group meetings because they help me to feel a lot better about myself, my world and just how far I have come as a human being and how hard I have struggled in order to attain the things most people just tend to take for granted.
(it is nice to sleep in my own house and in my own bed, instead of in a refuge.)

good grief...your situation is very similar to mine. doppelganger..

I am recommitting to 12 step stuff too this year. I can destroy my life just fine, I've found, without even relapsing (which it took me 8 years to do but I eventually did). I am going more for my core addictions and trauma this time, because that is where the struggle is, but I finally accepted I need other people I think. This time it's a bit different though because I know about the aspie stuff and why I didn't ever become NT (i.e. 'get better') in the way that I thought I was going to through meetings.

The sober state is the worst state... I used to socialise until I realised that drinking made me feel 'normal' but didn't actually make me become 'normal'. Now I hate drinking around other people and hate going out and always say NO because the more I get to know people, the more they think I'm a freak. I prefer to recluse-ify in my lair

Got no trouble to say no, but I come to most often say yes for I don't mind most of the time and it come to be a change of pace. Through if people asked me for a yes or no often the normal would go toward no the more I get asked often, but that almost never happen for I don't get ask often (cause I don't see people that actually speak to me often)

I can relate about people getting to know me and being like 'how dare you not be what I expected'. It's trying. I hear you about the drinking, made me feel great and behave abominably, I have been blessed to have not picked it back up since I first got sober, although I have messed with other things. It took me awhile to realize I was an alcoholic...I thought drinking was just one more thing I was screwing up or not getting 'right', and if I just kept trying...