Some Aspie trait questions.

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http://help4aspergers.com/pb/wp_a58d4f6 ... d4f6a.html

I was reading the Female Traits list (Since I am female) but was confused by some things.

It mentions having childhood friends while in school but not in adulthood. Have any females experience this and why do you think this is? (In my case I was homeshcooled from 5th-11th then GED/some College (then suspension)

Also it mentions issues with relationships with a guy and calling him alot etc. and something about "societal gender roles." what is that exactly?

Thanks.

Friends in elementary school? No. I mean, I had this one girl who said she was my friend, but I never had any clue what to do with her; and besides, we moved away four months after I started at that school. In fifth grade, I hung out with the kindergarteners--does that count?

I had only two friends at different stages in my school years that I'd actually hang out with. I remember when I was 13 and in the summer holidays my school friends wanted to hang out. I didn't know what to do with them. Then a few weeks later some more school friends came over.
When I was 10 or 12 I made friends with a 7 year old. I actually did accompany them on family outings.

I was home schooled from year 6,8 and did 10-12 at college. I made a friend in college but she stopped coming to classes so that friendship didn't last long.
Oh in my late teens a boy did always want to hang out but I blew him off. He was a youth/church friend.
I have one friend at the moment, who is more than 10 years older than me. Another that is much older and about to have a second child.
I have made attempts to be friends with people my own age but they act like 15 year olds.

The girl calling the guy a lot is pretty common among NT girls too. Guys find it annoying. I only texted my last boyfriend about very minor things.

Girls in my elementary school just treated me like a fragile butterfly, and they were nice, but they never hung out with me or slept over or anything. I remember one girl who lived near me and having to avoid her at all cost, because she would always invite me over amd I had NO interest in socializing what so ever.
But I did have a pretty good friend named Zach, and I used to always go over to his house - I don't know why I liked him more then anyone else, I guess we just both liked long walks in the woods.

The first one, childhood friends but not in adulthood, is probably because once you reach adulthood, there is a lot more sexism, and women are supposed to be "a certain way" or else she is a b***h. You know what I mean. As for the societal gender roles, it basically means when you like a guy, you are supposed to let him make the first move. apparently you have to bait him into talking to you, but you can't outright say it. Gender roles are really weird. My sister would always say "I like so and so" and I would say "Why don't you ask him out?" and she would go on this long spiel about how the guy has to ask the girl, or something like that. Society makes no sense, I prefer the Aspie approach

I read somewhere about how a young aspie girl might get "adopted" by a young female who sees her as an outsider and wants to help her. Or something like that. Anyway, when I read that I thought back on the friendships I had when I was younger, and they completely fit the description. I only ever had one real friend at a time (what I always thought of as my "best" friend), and in elementary school the girl that was my friend was popular and had lots of other friends and I was usually invited along wherever she went. I was never really accepted by most of the other kids though. I thought I was a little bit, because we hung out at school every day and occasionally on weekends, but after my friend moved away I suddenly found I didn't really have anyone to hang out with anymore because the other people I thought were my friends were really just her friends.

Then in high school I somehow became friends with a misfit girl who, despite having just moved to the city a few months ago and starting school midway through grade 10, was fairly popular among the misfit crowd of my school (which was a fair amount since I went to an artsy school). We were practically attached at the hip, and the only other friends I had through high school were friends that she introduced me to, and that we hung out with together. After she and I drifted apart, I had one or two remaining friends that started out as her friends but that I had become kind of close with over the years, but I was unable to keep hold of them for very long. Now I have no friends and no skills to make new friends.

So, while not my theory, I guess maybe some young girls have a tendency to take on a motherly type role to other, possibly weaker, girls but as they grow up maybe they're less inclined to do so because they can be actual mothers. Or maybe as they get older they start to realise how different the other girl is and no longer want to be associated with an outsider.

I would like to add that I don't necessarily have AS - I just like to mention that when I post in threads like this because what I'm saying could be completely irrelevant.

When I was in elementary school, I was labeled "the weird kid", but I made quite a few friends with other "outsiders", mostly kids who came from poor or foreign backgrounds. However, many of my "friends" eventually learned the ways of the popular girls and became part of them, and I was left in the dust. This happened especially during junior high. It felt like all my friends were growing up and I was still like a little kid. That's when my Asperger's was really noticeable.

I had friends growing up. I liked this girl who lived across the steet from me, I had two other friends and I had one in preschool and I had others in my special ed class when I was six and seven and couple in regular ed. Then I had some in my new school. Lot of them came to me.

I had friends growing up. I liked this girl who lived across the steet from me, I had two other friends and I had one in preschool and I had others in my special ed class when I was six and seven and couple in regular ed. Then I had some in my new school. Lot of them came to me.

jesus that table made me cry. that is me, up and down.

I definitely did the friends in grade school but not in adulthood. I don't know why that is, honestly. I think it may have to do with in grade school we were always hanging together plus our parents were more than happy to get shed of one of us off on the other parent for a while so we were always at the other's house...in adulthood I have longterm friends, my closest are actually exes, and one girl from college.



On the societal gender thing, I have found it's the same with the women I'm attracted to, even though I'm gay, because it's a butch/femme thing, so sometimes a butch woman will pursue a woman she wants and if she doesn't want you she won't be pursuing you. But I will keep trying anyway, out of stupidity. I think that is what they are referring to, the traditional thing of the masculine role as the pursuer, aspie females supposedly have a more 'male' mind so we may jump right in there and give chase. Which may or may not work, every situation is different.