Do you wish you knew how to behave?

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I look back on life at times and wish I would of done something different or wow X behavior WAS an issue?! and then I replay that in my head if only I would of tried to change but I question change into what? Change who I am and not be myself or be myself and risk being fired,kicked out of college,losing friends etc. It all boils down to I don't KNOW HOW TO BEHAVE!! !

Of course looking back I don't ALWAYS have bad behavior it's when you get to know me (after months/a year YES that LONG!) that I "come out of my shell"/"feel secure" that I tend to have bad behavior and behavior is so random when looking at the past was it doing A that was the issue or B or C and can I change behavior B or C? (example the teacher interaction/questioning behavior in College I've questioned/interacted with teachers SINCE KINDERGARTEN I'VE ALWAYS DONE IT!) So I question is that a behavior that can be changed and what do you do IF YOU DO SCREW UP AGAIN?! !! I'm at a point in life looking back (thankfully) enough is enough I'm tired of having bad behavior and upsetting people!! ! So what are your thoughts on behavior itself?

Yeah I'm exactly the same - can hold it in and look 'normal' for a few days with new people but eventually I hit a wall and end up doing something that looks really strange to them - I actually think it's a bigger shock to them when they've perceived me as normal than it would be if they'd always seen me as weird. I'm open about my Asperger's dx but for some reason people seem to attribute my behaviour to 'madness' or being a 'psycho' rather than a manifestation of AS and an inability to read/react to the situation at hand.

So true! I can be sociable for a finite amount of time-some days longer than others. After I reach my limit I start shutting down and all the maintaining I have to do exhausts me. By Friday afternoons, I have to get some serious alone time. I know this about myself, but sometimes I just can't stop my behaviour. I find that knowing my limits helps though and I have gotten better at recognising when I need to disengage. It's a constant process...

I'm usually quite sociable when I meet a new person if I am being introduced by someone else I know, otherwise I don't do anything and I never approach strangers on my own unless I must. After seeing a new person a few times, I will generally revert to being me again, with tendencies not to reciprocate or I might respond minimally. Then the cannibal jokes come out.

Cannibalism!

http://www.unwind.com/jokes-funnies/miscjokes/cannibaljokes.shtml

http://www.nobeliefs.com/communion/communion.htm

No, I don't wish I knew how to behave.

I am crap socialising after a few days, I learnt that after my parents forced me to go to a stupid camp for a week. It was OK at the beginning, but by the end everyone hated me.

HOWEVER...

I don't care what other people think of me. They can go to hell. I'm me, and if people don't like me, it's their own problem, not mine.

No matter what, I REFUSE to change my natural behaviour just for the benefit if horrible people who don't care about me anyway.

No. I just be myself.

If people don't like me, screw 'em.

I can socialize and then I decide enough and do my own thing. I don't really like it and only time I do is if people are telling interesting stories or if it's one and one and they aren't too loud. My husband doesn't like it either and we are the first people to leave. But he does it better than me but he is willing to bore himself out.

I thought it was because you threatened to kill the professor (as a joke, apparently?)

I know what things to not say (most of the time), but I have no idea how my creepy mannerisms appear to others. My eyes look angry and evil, but I'm always happy and nice on the inside.

I do not wish to modify my behaviour, just so that I can fit in with the members of mainstream society. I wish to be myself, until the day that I die at the ripe old age of 100.

I can relate to all these posts that say just do your own thing and let the world take it or leave it, and I think that might work out very nicely for a well-funded hermit, but if you want to be with people (or if you have to be because of a job or college), it might be wise to consider a few compromises, otherwise there could be a nasty backlash from time to time, and if you've pissed everybody off then they won't help you defend yourself. Diplomacy often feels like selling out to the enemy but it does make for an easier life.

I'm not advocating complete surrender, just that I think it's worth making a few relatively cheap concessions. In that sense, yes I do wish I knew "how to behave" - in practice social things often move too quickly for me to say and do the right thing in time. There's a lot that I have to remain rigid about - e.g. I will not go to a crowded, noisy party, I insist on a certain amount of solitude - but as long as I can have those basics respected, I don't mind making a few concessions.

I guess that's not easy for anybody who already feels way too overrun and harrassed by the world....I'm lucky in that the world lets me be, most of the time. As I'm getting near to being able to retire from the world of work, I look forward to the day when I only have to mingle with people when I want to, so that I can turn my back on the lot of them if needs be, and only suffer loneliness as a result - can't do it yet or I'd be economically stuffed as well as socially stuffed, so I still feel coerced into being among people I'd love to get away from, and so I don't feel as generous as I'd like to.