Did/would you take advantage of people's ignorance...

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06 Jan 2010, 12:27 am

about your AS?


It irritates me how stupid people are about aspies. Aspies do the wrong things and they full well know it's wrong and people excuse it blaming it on the AS. But I think all that does is encourages them to do the wrong things knowing they get away with it because people are too stupid to tell the difference and are too stupid to not excuse the behavior.

When I in high school, I was under estimated. It was like anything I did was part of my condition. Because my aid was so over protective of me, I could do anything (not literally) and get attention and I mostly did it to get my teacher's reaction. I was frustrated about the treatment I was getting I actually had my fun with it. I did silly things and got away with it. Then when I finally started to get treated like everyone else, I stopped. The fun was over.

If someone kept excusing your bad behavior because of your AS, would you keep on doing it?



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06 Jan 2010, 12:31 am

Spokane_Girl wrote:
If someone kept excusing your bad behavior because of your AS, would you keep on doing it?

No I would not. Maybe I would have in my younger days but I didn't know about AS back then.
Say if I said something rude and someone brushed it off as AS I wouldn't do it again, because I knew it was hurtful and probably feel embarrassed about it, even if the person I was rude to had little reaction.


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06 Jan 2010, 12:53 am

I wouldn't be surprised if most school age kids are like that though..
I went to a special middle school and my friends and I would always try and get away with bad behavior. My mom hadn't even told me I had an ASD at that point, all I knew was that I was in a school that was a lot more easygoing and that I wouldn't stand out against the bad behavior of the other kids, and I took full advantage of that, lol. All they did was put us in a quiet room to calm down. Even if you broke stuff you never got suspended or sent home. Every day someone would be acting up and taunted the aids and hiding or running away, etc. I think kids like to see what they can get away with, that's all. And many would use an ASD as a tool for that, which I understand. It's kind of a game.
But once you start realizing you should be a responsible person, it changes. I try not to take advantage of the situation anymore. I am determined not to blame anything on ASDs. Sometimes it is hard though, because sometimes the ASD really does cause problems. Sometimes it's even hard to judge if you're using it as an excuse or if it's justified.


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06 Jan 2010, 1:07 am

Spokane_Girl wrote:
...If someone kept excusing your bad behavior because of your AS, would you keep on doing it?


no, it would be a cop out for both the other person(s) and myself. using AS as an excuse does not sit well with me, i would be better to take the comments on board as an indication of where i may need to re-evaluate my behaviours or attitude... or indeed re-evaluate who i am associating with or the social situation.

no-one should use someone else's character traits or differences as a point of excuse, exclusion, or discrimination. no-one should play on any perceived lack of ability or understanding, it is manipulative and only serves to fuel discrimination against those individuals that do actually have difficulty. :?


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06 Jan 2010, 1:21 am

Spokane_Girl wrote:
If someone kept excusing your bad behavior because of your AS, would you keep on doing it?

No.


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06 Jan 2010, 2:17 am

My situation in life doesn't seem to matter to people. My difficulties mean little to them, because I am "smart" therefore I should be able to function and do everything just as well as them.

I wouldn't even get the chance to abuse my diagnosis. I get no understanding at all! It kind of sucks, because I really dislike people like my brother for the hard time he gives me, as if I can just change and be normal.


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wormsto
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06 Jan 2010, 6:07 am

it's people like you who cause neurotypicals to support autism speaks, having fun reinforcing negative stereotypes?


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06 Jan 2010, 6:10 am

wormsto wrote:
it's people like you who cause neurotypicals to support autism speaks, having fun reinforcing negative stereotypes?




You really need to read the post again or do you have bad reading skills?



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06 Jan 2010, 6:16 am

i was refering only to those who currently do so, not those who used to.


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06 Jan 2010, 6:17 am

wormsto wrote:
i was refering only to those who currently do so, not those who used to.



Sorry. I took "you" literal. Damn it, I hate it when I do that.



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06 Jan 2010, 6:19 am

Spokane_Girl wrote:
wormsto wrote:
i was refering only to those who currently do so, not those who used to.



Sorry. I took "you" literal. Damn it, I hate it when I do that.


actually upon looking back i phrased it quite badly, sorry.


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06 Jan 2010, 7:41 am

I try to stay away from the government and "authority" types simply because I don't want to deal with their b.s. However, I try to act like a good, responsible adult. If I am forced to deal with "authorities," I will use whatever tools I have available to either get out of trouble or make things come out in my favor. In other words, I try to be "good" but when I come up against a bully with power, I will used any tool, diagnosis, religious status, race, etc to try to come out on top. I don't necessarily consider such tactics as being fair, but they are the tools that I may have to deal with the situation. Then again, the rules, courts, etc are usually not fair either.


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06 Jan 2010, 10:50 am

I wouldn't use my AS as an excuse for my behaviour. I might say to someone to tell me if I do a thing wrong though, and if asked for an explaination I would say about my AS and a desire to learn more social skills. Would this be excusing myself via AS? or expressing myself properly?



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06 Jan 2010, 11:30 am

If I just say to anyone I have autism, they think of Rain Man, so I can have fun with people in that case :lol:

On a more serious note, though, I hate people underestimating me, but I hate people overestimating me even more. By "overestimating", I mean that people who know about my AS think I'm using it as an excuse. There's a science teacher in my school who acts like a complete b***h about me using a laptop in class, and always accused me of playing games for no reason at all (I never have in class). If I get the displeasure of having that teacher again, I'm reporting her for disability discrimination.



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06 Jan 2010, 11:38 am

...



Last edited by Willard on 11 Jan 2010, 10:57 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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06 Jan 2010, 6:28 pm

Willard wrote:
Taking advantage of a DX that way is precisely the sort of thing that keeps alive the stereotype that autistic = ret*d.

Have you never heard the story of the boy who cried "Wolf!"?

I am especially offended when someone uses AS as a legal defense for some outrageous outburst of violent or destructive behavior. Having difficulties communicating and adapting can be extremely frustrating, but it does not absolve one of personal responsibility for one's own actions.

Not only will using AS as an excuse for all sorts of bad behavior convince the world that we're all unpleasant and dangerous freaks, it will prevent us from getting appropriate assistance when we really need it, and probably lead to a great many being overmedicated for no good reason.


I agree.

Although, I also hate anyone using the 'I have x so it's ok for me to do y' defense in general, even just in conversation. It just really bugs me. It gives a bad perception of the group/disorder/disability/etc.

I'm not talking about people who genuinely can't do stuff. I'm talking about people like my ex boyfriend, he had depression and used it as an excuse to be abusive towards me. 'I have depression, so I'm allowed to scream at/hurt you and don't have to say sorry' was a sentence he used frequently.