Do you manage on your own, or need support?

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I'm curious, I've come across a few aspies who require assistance from their parents or other people in their lives in different areas, and some who have professional assistance - I wonder what sort of ratio we have;

Do you have any sort of support?
Do you have support in some areas and not others?
Did you need more support at any other time in your life?
Do you think one day you may not need that support?

Until I get a diagnosis I'm still going to have the occasional doubt that I'm too 'normal' to be on the spectrum - I live independently and function fine on my own - my boyfriend helps me although I could manage without him, but this may be like people who can't read/write hiding it for years because they find ways to adjust or avoid difficult situations, maybe I do the same. As a child things were different though, as a young child I wasn't able to do things like bathing myself, I learned, but until my mid/late-teens I still had to go arm-in-arm with my mother everywhere, couldn't go to shops or doctors on my own for example and she often talked for me...that's not all that 'normal'.

I manage on my own. I'm more careful with my money than I was. I do my own shopping, cooking and chores. I get myself up for work on time. I also get my own bills payed on time.

I've had some support from someone for a large part of my life: parents, relatives, wife and best friend. They helped me with getting jobs, finding therapy and supporting me through school/university. For example, I lived with my parents until my late 30s.

I get financial support through disability. It was actually my mood disorder that made me require it though. My family provided a safety net and I needed their support since 2005. Now that I've moved out I'm finding I need more support in other areas such as my diet. When I lived with family I just ate what they put in front of me. Now I'm going back to eating the same thing over and over and feeling like crap. I'm worried about paying bills again because I have a tendency to lose track of the day and forget about bills. I've picked up a few but some family members pay and I pay them back for. I think that's all the support I get. Well, my therapist helps point out areas to improve socializing and things like that but I don't really consider that support.

my husband cares for me emotionally, and does the lions' share of the household chores and looking after our daughter. i tend to work long hours as i do not manage the household that well, so the traditional male role of provider works better for me. since we are currently both working full-time, i try my best to keep up with my chores but it is not a strong point.

when i was living alone for a year (with roommates) at age 18, i had break-ins, poverty, alcohol issues, job instability, dirty/messy house (with bugs and a bedroom floor covered in clothing), chronic illness, depressive breakdowns, and so on. i didn't care for myself very well, and eventually i lost almost all of my friends during this period.


yes, i can pay bills and keep a job for the most part, and i can maintain a romantic relationship. but emotionally i am a mess, and i do not keep friends at all. i also cannot drive or ride a bike, and i get very mixed up about the transit, though i have learned to plan carefully when i have to take a new route.


in some ways i am worse now than when i was younger but i am working at getting better. i am a little less reckless or unstable now.


i will probably never be completely independent, but nobody really is, even NTs. however, i am working with a therapist to learn to care for myself better.

Yes. I have support in the form of a place to live and food, as well as internet access. It is far from ideal as living here has been costly in many other ways - mostly emotional and in terms of agency and independence.



Yes, and this is because of assumptions that were made about my ability to handle my own affairs. Support I really needed was held back because it was assumed I was just being "lazy" and such. The support I did get was fairly minimal.



Yes, I think things have been harder since 2003-2004, and I have needed more support due to diminished ability to work even minimally.



I do not know. I was hoping to move beyond needing support because I am so tired of being dependent on other people for anything. I was hoping to get a job, and then I was hoping to get on SSI. Right now I do not know what to expect, as it's become apparent that things not only got worse since several years ago, they have progressively become worse since.



For what it's worth, I'm diagnosed and I have all of the problems I've listed above, and I still have this doubt. From what you've said here on the forum, you do not sound "too normal to be on the spectrum" to me at all. It sounds like whatever you can do for yourself, you still face some real difficulties.

I've never had professional assistance, I'm undiagnosed. However, I've received many help from my parents and friends. Now I live 35 miles away from my parental home in the suburb of a big city, and I spend almost every weekend with them. They provide me home food for the next week. When I don't have their food I usually don't eat well.

I require help emotionally and some help by counseling, advising. My best friend helps me the most, and my mother is also helpful. I meet my friend every week and we discuss the situations I have difficulties with.

I also had issues with bathing, moderate problems with clothing, and my mother washed my hair until I was in my mid teens. My grandmother used to say I'm so naive. I was her favorite grandson, perhaps because she saw I was different, and needed special care. She was very supportive toward me. She helped me with providing accommodation for me in her apartment while I was attending the Uni. I was totally free from chores, I only had to do some shopping.
My mother is a teacher, she did the best of her pedagogy to teach me how to keep standing on my feet in the life. She also protected me before my teachers due to my behavioral problems and hyperactivity.

Maybe. It's more likely I'll get help throughout the rest of my life. I hope my friend will stay with me for long, and I will find a mate, a girlfriend, with whom we will help each other. (and not constantly tossing the other to abyss like I experienced lately)

My grandmother helped me to see the doctors while I was studying at the Uni, and talked for me also. The first time I managed going to a hospital myself has happened after I graduated. Then I missed the appointment, so I had a second try. My parents still shop for clothes for me, or we shop together.

At the moment I live in a care home so, yes I do get support. I'm going through the transition into independance at the moment, so in September I will be getting my own place. I'll still be getting support several times a week to make sure that I am remembering to wash, tidy my house and generally care for myself. I am very good at looking after my animals but sometimes I forget to take care of myself! I also need support to stop me being on the internet/The Sims3 24/7!

For now, i work only twice at week, and i live with my parents. I'm worried about my future, somethimes i like to imagine how my life could be if i was more indipendent.
I'm terribly careful with my money. I use them rarely, for things i really wish (for example i will spend for my next vacation in Norway, and i need that my parents come with me)

Jellybean - The sims! Cool!

The older I get, the more "support" I need.

When I was a juvenile, I fantasized about being a hermit ... but I now see that never would have worked since my wife now does all the shopping and cooking here and I would not even know what to buy whenever I did go to town.

Arthritis and back trouble prevent me from working now, but the long-term effects of my AS/HFA would be enough to disable me anyway if I could even get an "official" diagnosis. So, I am now dependent upon food stamps and/or disability income.

I can attend to personal hygiene, but I might not do enough of that if living all by myself!

I don't get any support, though I'd probably be better with it. I've managed to hold on to my job and live on my own for the past 14 years, but my bills are always payed sporadically (sometimes early, sometimes late, my mail just piles up, I never want to go through it) my place is always a mess, my vehicle is always a mess and not maintained well. I don't eat right for the most part and I haven't filed income taxes for the past 12 years. I didn't get one of the W2 forms I needed from one of my employers one year (or maybe I did and lost it or threw it away without realizing) and they wouldn't send me another one, so I couldn't do taxes that one year. The next year I did file and the IRS sent me a letter rejecting it saying I couldn't file that year without filing for the previous year. The "other" employer at the time was the National Guard, federal payroll, so it was like one part of the government wouldn't give me the paperwork to do what another part of the same government wanted. Recently I've gotten a couple letters from the IRS and it's really stressing me out, I don't think I owe anything, or if I do it can't be that much because of the taxes withheld, but I'm paralyzed about what to do. Do I call them and try to work something out? I've heard radio advertisements warning people to never approach the IRS on their own. Do I contact the ADA first and try to work out something between departments that way? Do I hire a tax lawyer? I'd hate to spend money on a lawyer if I didn't have to. Maybe I can just work with a CPA, I don't know. I've been thinking of contacting the AANE and seeing if they could help.

I once had a similar situation (although it was all my own fault), and an accountant (CPA) quickly got everything straight for me.

Do you have any sort of support?

Yes. I rely very heavily on my parents to attend to basic financial and material needs, and both my family and my boyfriend to support me through events that trigger anxiety. I also get financial support from the state.

Do you have support in some areas and not others?

Due to not being ready for employment or full-time education, most of the support I need is of a financial nature. I don't need as much support in social areas, though I do need a fair bit of emotional support in coping with life due to my issues with anxiety.

Did you need more support at any other time in your life?

Yes. There was a time when my anxiety was so severe that I couldn't leave the house unaccompanied, and so I'd need a lot of help in getting to and from places.

Do you think one day you may not need that support?

I hope so. I'd like to think that I'll develop better coping mechanisms for my anxiety, and eventually be supported into employment.

I am almost entirely financially dependent on my mom. In terms of staff support, I have staff about 40 hours/week, and even that's not enough. Yesterday, when no staff was here due to the holiday, I decided to cook something simple. When finished, I put the oven mitts over the burner, which was still on... and left them there for 14+ hours. Could've burned the house down.

Good example of why I need staff.

Considering the fact that I don't have a job and I'm still in school, yes, I need support. Other than that, I think I could probably live fine on my own, someday.

i have trouble functioning completely independently due to forgetfulness (extreme), sensory issues, being overwhelmed easily and prone to meltdowns, cognitive issues and just general emotional instability. Some of it is related to being on the spectrum..I've always needed support quite often.