seeing yourself on video

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Whenever I think I've started to grasp the whole social thing, I see a video of myself socializing. This is for some reason excruciating to watch. I've noticed awkwardness in other people, so I thought that maybe I wasn't as awkward as I thought... I didn't even have to hear myself talk to people. My body language was enough to send out the message that I am still as awkward as ever. It's just the way I move, I don't even know how to describe it. If I was looking at someone else, I might actually think there was something a little off about that person. Especially the way I move my fingers when I'm not thinking about it. The stim a little on there own I think and it gives me the presence of always having my wrists flexed a little. It looks very weak. I noticed this way before I was diagnosed with PDD.

Does anyone else see themselve on a video and think, " what the hell is wrong with me?"

I noticed pretty much the same thing when I watched videos of family get-togethers, that's why I now always operate the camera.

When I got speech and language therapy during my teenage years (I also had it during childhood, btw), we did a thing where the therapist set up a camera and recorded me and my aspie peers having a group conversation. I noticed things about myself that I really wasn't aware of. I wasn't really embarrassed by it, just surprised. I used some really strange body language and I was cracking my neck in a very cartoonish way, but I honestly wasn't aware that it looked weird to others. I also used to slam my head on the table if I got a question wrong in class. I know, I'm a bit melodramatic

I think my peers actually had more obvious idiosyncrasies than me, such as flapping, rocking and touching people inappropriately, though I used to do some obviously weird stuff as well. The key to that portion of our therapy was not to purge our "strangeness", but to see how we appear to other people (I think it was am empathy thing/teaching social skills thing).

I also looked at some childhood video of myself having limited verbal skills and just repeating stuff. I also remember seeing a christmas video of me jumping up and down a sofa while the family were singing christmas carols. I suppose I was trying to occupy myself seeing as I didn't have the social skills/know any of the songs to join in. I could go on, but I won't bore you with details about my life. It sure is a laugh watching childhood videos, though.

I now have a somewhat good grasp of appropriote social skills, which make people think I'm just a bit odd rather than think that I have some kind of condition.

videos of self = AWKWARD (plus I always think my voice sounds funny )

Who's that slow person, with the slight slouch, with the Cockney accent?

When I was in my early 20's , i was renting a room from a woman who was around 10 years older than me, and her peer group was older, and part of it was this artist couple and they would often bring a camera and film people. They had taken a fascination in me because I was odd...though they couldn't pin point what exactly what the deal with me was (I didn't know either, at the time)..they even asked me if I ever heard voices..
Anywhoo...They filmed me interacting with other people at my roommate's holiday shindigs, and a remark was made about the footage that I seemed more like a "little forest creature"...than a person...because I seemed so different from the people around me.,,pasty little face...wide staring eyes....awkward body posture...hands curled up....

Even though i have a whoooole lot of videos of myself, I have very few that I did not take myself...so the ones of just myself don't really count because I am usually not interacting with others.
Part of the reason I have so many videos is that I have difficulty relating to the person in the videos as being me...so I am fascinated that that's who I am, because when watching it, I feel like a different person.

Some videos that are hard to watch are the videos of my old band playing live...those are awful....

I know exactly what you mean and noticed this before finding out about autism. I watched occasions on video where I was at my most animated and confident, yet conveyed the exact opposite: reticence, slowness, and oddness. I displayed unusual speech and body language, which really surprised me because, watching others all the time, I had assumed I looked more or less the same.

I don't like watching videos of myself.

I'm surprised that so many people actually have videos of themselves. I don't think I've ever been in a social situation where people decided to video tape it. That just seems weird to me. Like, "Hey, we're all having a nice time talking to each other. I know, let's get this on camera!"

I remember the first video that really caught my attention about my general behavior - but it was actually just the audio part. I went on a trip with a couple of folks and one of them turned on his videocamera as we were walking along. He ended up capturing a ten- or fifteen-minute conversation between the three of us. It was the first time I'd heard myself talking in that context, and, to me, everything that came out of my mouth had a slightly patronizing tone. I was alarmed, honestly - I was watching it with them, and asked if that was how I always sounded, and they confirmed it. But they'd just accepted it as how I sounded (so I guess it didn't sound patronizing to them).

I wish I had more videos like that, but I'm rarely in those situations and usually can't bring myself to turn on the camera. My brother has occasionally shot some holiday stuff, but I have a feeling I barely appear in them, considering I'm usually over the corner quietly staring off into space.

I am so wary of being captured on motion film or videotape that none exists with me in it.

I hadn't seen myself on video until my nephew brought his camera to my wedding. I was pissed with him, because I'd actually clearly stated that I didn't want anyone to bring a video camera. My facial expressions are so weird in (most) still photos that I figured I probably wouldn't want to see myself on film, and I was right. My eye movements and facial expressions look very strange in that video; I rarely seem to be actually looking in anyone's direction when they're talking to me. If I see anyone videoing at a family event since then, I dodge out of the way.