Have you ever tried to tone down your special interest?

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Recently I've had people saying my interest with Lazytown is too strong and that I should give it up. Some people find it annoying to hear me talk about Maggi all the time. I don't wanna tone down my special interest, it makes me who I am. I've dealt with so many flamers because of it, but I won't give it up cos it's so close to my heart.

Have any of you been told to, or tried yourself to tone down your special interest?

I have been told as a child I was getting too obsessed. Last year my mom told me I was getting too far into B&J and I needed to get out of it and take walks, go out and have fun and it wasn't fair to my husband. He didn't mind it. I can get very obsessed when I have nothing better to do. When I worked, they got toned down because I was busy with my life.

If I were you, I would quit talking about it a lot. I got lot of crap at I2 from other aspies when I kept posting about B&J and talking about it. See, even aspies get tired of hearing other aspies talking about their obsessions all the time. I see that as a wake up call for that's how it feels to other people when they do it so they better stop and not talk about it as much. You don't need to give up your obsession, just don't talk about it a lot.

I do not talk about my obsessions to people. My husband is the only peson whom I talk to him about. Most of our conversations are based on my interests or obsession. If it bothered him, I would have stopped but he says we wouldn't be talking at all if he told me to stop. I was driving him crazy with my rating thing questions so I cut back. I limit it to three times a day now to ask him to rate things.

I've tried to do that here on WrongPlanet, yesterday. After posting what my favourite rock band is, I've managed to stay away from that topic, until my second last post. I felt like a prisoner.

Never. My special interests make me happy - and will one day make me rich - so why would I want to do that?

No, never. No one's ever told me that my obsession with anime is too strong. My family realizes how much anime means to me, and they accept it as part of who I am, just as they accept my brother's obsession with guns.

I remember one time as a young teen, when I told my mom that maybe I should tone down my anime obsession by seeing how long I could go without it. Mom responded with a speech about how it was part of who I was, and that I shouldn't try to change because there was nothing wrong with it.

The Kinks are a part of who I am, so I'm not toning it down, anymore. That's not what I want. That's what the curbies want. The curbies want us to tone our obsessions down. That's why I'm taking a stand, right now!

I'm going to use my free will.

I'm sure many would say that being a 27 year old male I should tone down my love of the show iCarly. But that show is pure joy and I don't know how I ever did without it, and I only started watching a week ago.

yes people have but any attempt to not do or think or talk about my interests makes me deeply bitter and resentful. I would rather avoid such people who make those requests.

My family know that Im quite touchy and will avoid them at the least provocation so they are quite good now about not nagging me about stuff.

Doesn't work!
T'ey choose us, we don;t choose them. They stay for as long as they need to, and then they move on when they are good and ready.

Someone actually asked me if I choose my obsessions and I said no. They just come to me and get stuck in my head. But now she won't talk to me.

Last edited by Spokane_Girl on 12 Jan 2010, 3:50 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I have been told regarding a number of my obsessions and interests to tone them down over the years.

My latest obsession has been with the 2008 flood that hit the community that I live in and the surrounding area. It is still a very in your face subject that is a common topic of conversation almost two years later. I spent six months helping a childhood friend rebuild his community that was impacted by the same flood. It was very satisfying, and some of the things that we did were considered innovative when it came to natural disaster response. Sadly, even though I did a lot for my friend, his wife, city councilors, and in some ways my friend were very uncomfortable with my obsession.

I have also been told by my parents, friends and others to get over my friend and the work that I did out there and that I am obsessed with it. It is hard to move on when you were treated as abruptly as I was, and the fact I did probably the most satisfying and most impactful thing in my life.

My vampire obsession was taken to be an obsession with death, and related to my chronic depression and possibly psychotic thinking, and somehow (i have no idea) related to a suicide attempt made at age twelve.
Mind you, I was not diagnosed properly. But when you're ten and bad things are happening and your obsession seems to contribute... you try to tone it down.
Why couldn't I have had an obsession with rainbows? heh

ETA: we're talking about how it was one of the things mentioned when i was (wrongly) put on anti-psychotics, among other things. high motivation to shove the vamp thing down. thing is, i never got rid of it. just tried to make sure it wasn't so obvious.

As Aspies, if we want to, we have a right to keep our special interests intact. I know if I've watched too many Looney Tunes episodes in one day, but never (at the moment anyway) would I purposefully try to make myself more interested in something else and leave Looney Tunes completely alone. I realise that my obsession is unusual, even for Aspies, but I want to be interested and enjoy the things I am obsessed in.

that's no good.
She is failing to understand one of the wonderful things that makes you YOU.

Hi Rampionrampage,

I have been studying vampires since I was 16. I am now 36. I spent years not telling anyone about my fascination/obsession......I studied the anthroplogy, the history, the myth, the personality.....of vampires and variations. When I met my fiance six years ago, it took me 2 years to tell him as I had been ostracised before, and he said "well, well you have a hobby other than science. Excellent!!" And promptly bought me posters of some of the old school and new school vampires, books, my fav vampire movies and so on.

My "interest" started when I was studying theology in high school. I excelled in this area and was intensely fascinated with the life of Jesus Christ. I had considered joining the convent and becoming a nun of academia. But my faith was lagging somewhat. My science brain did not identify with "blind faith"........I digress. Part of my studies was into demonology and such.......vampires came up in some of my studies and hey presto!! !!

I put forth this idea.......vampires are a paradox......they instigate death but promise eternal life.......fascinating.

Part of the human condition, I'd say. Embrace your love of it with all your heart.......but I have also found that some take the conversation better than others.

Mics.

I used to like Anne Rice novels. It wasn't exactly a fixation on vampires but rather the intensity of feeling in the books. I feel intensely and had not 'met' anybody else that did. Also there's an implicit spiritual seeking in her books. I met Anne Rice at a book signing and she liked my name and my (at the time) husband's, and incorporated them into her characters. Kinda cool. Also we discussed religion and she was obsessed with Christ and talked about angel time a very long time ago. She was one of my heroes for a long time. Have to buy her last 2 books to catch up. Loved the witches series too for the unusual perspectives. Was on a listserv and kept recommending the vampires and witches merge and they eventually did, fun reading.

In Atwood's book he talks about the 3 methods Aspies use to cope and imagination is one. Vampire lore is full of fuel for imagination!

The thought of immortality, transferring experiences / feelings and not having to eat, having powers and traveling easily at night is fun to fantasize about. These days I'm feeling a little earthier and am more interested in werewolves although I don't have time to indulge that interest.

Re abilities and interests: Perhaps many Aspergers have close to savant abilities but keep them hidden because they are in interests that NTs find "peculiar."

I had an absolute jerk of an "evaluator" who immediately wanted to label me every possible personality and psychiatric disorder because I said the word "healing" ... and he went ballistic spouting off his rants about how he doesn't believe in God etc.

I'm in the medical profession where healing is talked about in a wholistic sense every hour.

So I realized that I'd better never mention my special interests (thank goodness I never did!) or my enhanced abilities because they fall in areas that rigid dinos may interpret as non-scientific. Science advances in understanding every year but there are always those who refuse to keep up on research and think the world is flat.

As an Aspie I've learned to keep to myself. I've realized with a bit of horror that NTs will sense a "difference" and are not kind, loving, honest, pure or friendly. So I enjoy with great relish my abilities and nobody knows anything about them. A peaceful life is a valuable prize.

As soon as an Aspie realizes his values and special interests are likely not shared by anyone else the sooner he will learn to be happy within himself and have a wonderful life.