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coby_reese
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25 Dec 2010, 9:44 pm

Hey all, I just wanted to share this/get some opinions and discussion going, wondering how many of you out there have this problem as well or if it's an Aspie thing.

Are there certain words or phrases you just can't say? there's no reason why, but when it comes to saying them out loud, you can't?

Personally I have this mainly with: thank you, you're welcome, people's names (especially if they have B's or G's in them), salutations... and so on. A lot of things people would consider normal pleasantries and just being polite, which I'm unable to do.



Wallourdes
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25 Dec 2010, 9:50 pm

Nope, can't say I have this.

I do sometimes forget those formalities, especially the names part is very embarising (even people I know for years... :?)


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Claradoon
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25 Dec 2010, 9:52 pm

I sometimes blank out on situations where "cookie-cutter" expressions are required, like "Best of the season to you" or "Good to meet you." I just go blank. Lately I've decided I must say *something* if I'm talking to somebody I like, so I ended up saying, "Happy birthing" to my pregnant doctor. Sincerely put, but awkward.

Does anybody know what to say when people say "Good to meet you"? I think it's the inclination to be literal that does me in. I'd truthfully say, "So relieved it's over." - but that's not it.



buryuntime
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25 Dec 2010, 9:54 pm

Claradoon wrote:
Does anybody know what to say when people say "Good to meet you"? I think it's the inclination to be literal that does me in. I'd truthfully say, "So relieved it's over." - but that's not it.

"And you as well." I suppose this is only at the beginning though. If they are saying this and then leaving you can just say some standard farewell I suppose.

If you don't want to lie just smile or nod your head in acknowledgment.



marshall
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25 Dec 2010, 10:15 pm

I have trouble addressing people directly by name. Unless I'm talking to a third party, I always end up using a pronoun. People often address me by name, but I'm not comfortable doing the same.



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25 Dec 2010, 10:34 pm

I used to have a small issue with words with the letter 'r' in them.



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25 Dec 2010, 10:50 pm

I find it nearly impossible to call people by name. I can say their name when telling another person about them, but I can't address them by name.

I've been known to say "thank you" too much because I don't know what else to say. But I can't say "bless you" when someone sneezes. I think it's because I'm an atheist, so I feel it's insincere, even if no one else thinks of its literal meaning.



coby_reese
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25 Dec 2010, 11:44 pm

Yeah, I can say other peoples' names when talking about them to someone else (usually, B and G names are still hard) but definitely not when talking to them. I always fake it and say I forgot if it's someone I just met (although that's embarrassing in itself) but it’s weird if it’s someone I’ve known for a while like my boss or some of the people I work with.

I personally have never said “bless you” because, while I’m spiritual in my own way, I just happened to be raised by not-too-religious parents who made a point of not teaching me that. I do feel that people look at me strangely for that, but it’s reasoning has nothing really to do with some kind of disorder the way my “thank you”s do. I don’t feel the need to say bless you to someone, whereas I always feel like I should thank someone for something they’ve done, and I am thankful for whatever it is, but I end up panicking out of it.



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26 Dec 2010, 12:32 am

Claradoon wrote:
I sometimes blank out on situations where "cookie-cutter" expressions are required, like "Best of the season to you" or "Good to meet you." I just go blank. Lately I've decided I must say *something* if I'm talking to somebody I like, so I ended up saying, "Happy birthing" to my pregnant doctor. Sincerely put, but awkward.

I can relate to this! Some years on my birthday when someone says "happy birthday" to me, I will say "you too" or "happy birthday" or something just as inappropriate. I don't often have to respond to "happy birthday"(only once a year) so the proper response to it ,"thank you", is filed away at the very back of my mental catalogue of things to say during social rituals.... "you too" is a much more accessible response because it is used much more often i.e. it is an acceptable response to "take care", "have a nice day" etc. =)

Does anybody know what to say when people say "Good to meet you"? I think it's the inclination to be literal that does me in. I'd truthfully say, "So relieved it's over." - but that's not it.


I think "you too" would be appropriate , or you could say "it was nice to meet you as well". I do not like the sound of "GOOD to meet you", but I am very particular about the words and phrases that I use. There are some words and phrases that I really like the sound of and others that I REALLY don't like. ……I wish I could say “ so relieved it’s over” in response to something like that as well. =)



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26 Dec 2010, 12:38 am

[quote="Claradoon"]I sometimes blank out on situations where "cookie-cutter" expressions are required, like "Best of the season to you" or "Good to meet you." I just go blank. Lately I've decided I must say *something* if I'm talking to somebody I like, so I ended up saying, "Happy birthing" to my pregnant doctor. Sincerely put, but awkward.

I can relate to this! Some years on my birthday when someone says "happy birthday" to me, I will say "you too" or "happy birthday" or something just as inappropriate. I don't often have to respond to "happy birthday"(only once a year) so the proper response to it ,"thank you", is filed away at the very back of my mental catalogue of things to say during social rituals.... "you too" is a much more accessible response because it is used much more often i.e. it is an acceptable response to "take care", "have a nice day" etc. =)

I don't like the way my original post looked. I want to make it clear that the above is my response to your first comment. :oops:



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26 Dec 2010, 9:33 am

I usually can't say anything when I don't mean it. Or "f**k." But maybe the problem is that I never really mean "f**k" when I feel I'm supposed to say it.


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sterfry
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26 Dec 2010, 11:01 am

I sometimes avoid using names for some reason. I think I can't figure out how to smoothly slip them into the greeting.

I once ran into my aunt at the grocery store and she later told my father that I forgot her name because I didn't say it.



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26 Dec 2010, 11:47 am

coby_reese wrote:
Hey all, I just wanted to share this/get some opinions and discussion going, wondering how many of you out there have this problem as well or if it's an Aspie thing.

Are there certain words or phrases you just can't say? there's no reason why, but when it comes to saying them out loud, you can't?

Personally I have this mainly with: thank you, you're welcome, people's names (especially if they have B's or G's in them), salutations... and so on. A lot of things people would consider normal pleasantries and just being polite, which I'm unable to do.


Yep. Well, I used to be like that. Not so much in recent years. It's still there, though.



jagatai
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26 Dec 2010, 1:42 pm

Zen wrote:
I find it nearly impossible to call people by name. I can say their name when telling another person about them, but I can't address them by name.

I've been known to say "thank you" too much because I don't know what else to say. But I can't say "bless you" when someone sneezes. I think it's because I'm an atheist, so I feel it's insincere, even if no one else thinks of its literal meaning.


Wait... Are we the same person? This would be exactly my response. :D

But I also have trouble saying "gesundheit" because I'm not really sure how to pronounce it. It's always a bit awkward since the only reason to say anything when someone sneezes is due to superstition. When I'm in a odd mood and someone sneezes a few times, I'll just yell, "Stop it!" Yeah, I'm a real hoot around the office. :D

Another thing I really have a problem saying is "sir" or "madam" Maybe it's an inherent dislike for social hierarchy but terms that indicate subservience or superiority stick in my throat and I find them almost impossible to say.


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26 Dec 2010, 7:33 pm

Ah yes, I have the name thing as well. I'm slowly getting over that, though, since people here use each other's (and my) names constantly.


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kruger4
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26 Dec 2010, 9:07 pm

I think I have the same problem. What's the psychology behind it and how do I fix this?