Privacy issues: Do they think I'm stupid?

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Silver_Future
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28 Dec 2010, 9:56 pm

First a little background on me: Unfortunately due to having mild autism/adhd I live with my parents and I am working to become independent at the age of 30. I have the intellect and skills, mainly I just struggle with getting a drivers license which is the only thing that is holding me back right now.

Anyhow, my parents don't seem to respect my privacy. If they think I don't hear them telling me something while I'm in my room they barge right in, no warning. I'm an artist so sometimes the stuff I work on takes a certain level of concentration and when someone comes barging into my room that concentration is shattered. They are always keeping tabs on me as well like I (the 'retard', as I call myself assuming by how I'm treated sometimes) might wander into the road and get hit by a car, get lost in the backyard or whatnot. I get the feeling they seem to think I'm too stupid to be left on my own for very long. For someone that has an IQ of 115 this is rather depressing to me, honestly.

I guess I want to make better sense of this. I can understand that they love me and want to make sure I'm okay, but I'm not a dummy and I'm not going to start banging my head against stuff or wander directly to my demise like I'm brain dead. Also like I said I think I'm deserving of privacy any normal human should be afforded.



Chronos
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28 Dec 2010, 10:33 pm

Put a lock on your door.



Silver_Future
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28 Dec 2010, 11:01 pm

I do have a lock on my door but they tend to get angry if they need to talk to me and it's locked, so I usually leave it unlocked to avoid them getting offended even moreso.

Believe me, my father's the type that in the wrong mood he'd just start kicking at it.
:roll:



Titangeek
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28 Dec 2010, 11:04 pm

Silver_Future wrote:
I do have a lock on my door but they tend to get angry if they need to talk to me and it's locked, so I usually leave it unlocked to avoid them getting offended even moreso.

Believe me, my father's the type that in the wrong mood he'd just start kicking at it.
:roll:


This may sound stupid but, why care if they get offended?


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Silver_Future
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28 Dec 2010, 11:24 pm

I don't know why they'd get offended about a door being locked myself, unless they consider it to be defiance, which it's not. I just enjoy being able to do things undisturbed like I assume all people at some point do.

My mom doesn't get so much offended as my dad, but when he does get offended it leads him to make assumptions sometimes like he might assume that I'm angry at him or that I'm trying to be antisocial. These are reasons I've locked my door before but have since grown out of long ago.

In short in the instance I ignore them, I risk the chance of things becoming blown out of proportion as a result.



Titangeek
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28 Dec 2010, 11:26 pm

Silver_Future wrote:
In short in the instance I ignore them, I risk the chance of things becoming blown out of proportion as a result.


To what extent?


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bookworm285
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28 Dec 2010, 11:28 pm

I moved back in with my parents for a year when I was mid-40's. I wish I had sat down and calmly explained how I felt. I finally exploded and said "you gave me more freedom at 16!" which was true. This made Mom very sad, she didn't realize it.

I have craved privacy from childhood, and never felt I got the proper amount as a child. But at 45, I expected it! They, on the other hand, didn't realize it bothered me.



Silver_Future
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28 Dec 2010, 11:38 pm

Not to any extent where I would be at the risk of any harm, he just rants at my mom and while doesn't get full blown drunk gets a bit tipsy and says thing which in turn stress my mom out. She's more emotionally sensitive than me and on top of her having high blood pressure as well as diabetes, it's just not good for me to leave these problems ignored as he gets her emotional when talking about them and could cause her to have a heart attack or a stroke.

Don't get me wrong, my father isn't a bad person he just has a few of his own personal struggles (None of which I feel like are relevant to my current situation that I'm discussing here, ftm.) which he tries to remedy with alcohol despite how it never helps anyone to use alcohol as a means of a remedy.



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29 Dec 2010, 12:01 am

Move out. That's what I had to do


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2ukenkerl
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29 Dec 2010, 12:10 am

115 is VERY HIGH NORMAL, so you certainly AREN'T stupid according to that test and, it would have to be like 30% lower before you would be considered retarded. Although in some ways you may SEEM stupid because of AS. HECK, you may seem like a GENIUS in other areas,

Parents just tend to be stupid. I mean they often feel their kids are not that bright. HERE, there is a commercial where there is a father talking to his daughter in this car telling her how to pull out, what to check, etc.... And here's his daughter, a little 6 year old girl pleading with him, to give her the keys, etc... He then gives her the keys, and a FAR more mature voice says "THANKS DAD", and you see a person ~16!

That illustrates how parents are! Your parents STILL view you like that 6 year old. HEY, my mother still treats ME like that, and I have been on my own for almost 30 years! I am almost 50!

HERE is a writeup on that commercial!

http://www.autoguide.com/auto-news/2010 ... oment.html