Sharing of Interests?

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One criterion for Asperger's in the old DSM is "a lack of spontaneous seeking to share enjoyment, interests, or achievements with other people (e.g., by a lack of showing, bringing, or pointing out objects of interest to other people)"

I've started to wonder how many of us actually have this trait. I've thought that it's more related to introversion than to Asperger's specifically. Having this trait does not indicate a presence of a Theory of Mind, in my opinion, but a need to express oneself.

In my case, I seek to engage with my special interest as actively as possible, and talking about it and bringing it out to other people allows me to do that. There are 3 people I know right now with whom I only discuss my special interest and nothing else, and sharing things with them brings me immense pleasure. In this case, I'm looking for their input on some points that I bring out, and I also like listening to their stories and their experiences. I remember that in the movie "Adam", there was a scene where Adam sat beside a man on the bench and began talking about his special interest, and in that, I can relate to him.

I also like talking about my achievements, not because I expect a certain reaction from people, but because I feel this need to consolidate the events in my life somehow. It could be through writing, but it could also be through saying it out loud. Also, I always feel a need to open up to other people as much as possible so that there can be less misunderstandings between be and others, so that everyone would know exactly what kind of person I am and would thus be able to understand my needs better. I wasn't like this before, and I think it's something that arose from my experiences of constantly feeling misunderstood.

If you have someone who is receptive to your special interest, do you often seek to share it with them? And, if not, do you wish that there was someone you could share it with?

That part of the criteria is hard to understand. Do I meet it or not? I talk to people off and on and when I am by myself, am I meeting that part now? I don't have any friends so do I meet that part? I have difficulty with groups so am I meeting that part? But I do fine with one person or small groups so I would no longer meet it.

Then I talk to my husband about my obsessions and that is sharing enjoyment. I took him to Spokane when we first met to share my obsession with him. When I was meeting guys, I would take them to my aunt and uncle's house and we watch Benny & Joon and play some video games. I also love to talk and I can talk and talk and talk about different things and can write long PMs. So I don't meet that part. I guess this is what my mom means I slip on and off the criteria.

I often don't talk about my obsessions anymore to people except to my husband. I do have difficulty in social settings unless it comes to my interest. Then all of a sudden the conversations are normal.

Last edited by League_Girl on 12 Feb 2010, 3:27 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Same here, but it's only when it comes to my special interests that I can reciprocate. I tend to only associate myself with people who are receptive to my special interests (and will also reciprocate my desire to engage in this interest), because it's only when I talk about my special interest that I feel normal. Outside of it, I have trouble reciprocating, I don't spontaneously share anything, and overall, I become very alienated.

I love to share my special interests and my passions. But the problem is no-one else around me is really interested in my talking about them, which is all I do.

I wonder if it refers to "reference checking' in kids, which related to a lack of "mirroring" between the AS child and the parent. there may be a more solitudinal relationship with the interest than is usual?
There may be less referring back to the parent for validation and approval and guidance.

I am very shy, so I tend to not openly share my special interests. It's not due to being an aspie, it's due to the shyness though. Once I start to get to know someone and trust them a little, I will try to share. It's difficult to do though because I tend to always get shot down and told that they really don't want to talk or hear about it. I don't really understand why people are so allergic to science and mathematics and literature *shrug*. But I have at least had some minor success talking about movies, so I try to move the conversation in that direction when I get shot down.

The DSM-IV criteria for AS is simply the criteria for autism without the communication section (plus the requeirement of no significant delay in...)

Probably this point is there simply because it is in autism criteria (and probably many LFA people have these symptom)

I the future autism criteria, apperently this point does not appear.

Only with people I know will not harass me for them. My special intrests are MY special intrests, not their's. I would jabber on about my special intrests as a kid to anyone weither they cared or not. I felt as if I was doing a service by educating them. As an adult (mentaly, I was still a child until the age of 21) I began to focus soley on my special intrests and if others wanted to hang out with me they had to understand and be okay with my special intrests. If they are not okay with them...goodbye. For me to be okay with other people's intrests, they have to be okay with mine. As a child I was told that the only way for people to want to talk about my intrests, to talk about what they were intrested in.

This was around the time the Goosebumps series was so insanley popular (I feel so old) and I learned everything I could about them and pretended to be intrested in them so hard people thought I was obsessed with them. This did not work at all and I was still veiwed as the weirdo space cadet. Not only did they not want to talk about manatees or whatever my special intrest was at the time, they did not want to talk about Goosebumps with me either. No matter how hard I tried I always got the same response, "Manatees are stupid! Why can't you like normal things?" I thought the things they liked were weird as well. I just couldn't win as a child. So as an adult, you either accept my meerkat special intrest or I will flat out have nothing to do with you period.

IF I sense that the other is a possible person [which is not all that common] and IF the other either responds to something I say in the range of my interest or spontaneously brings it up, I will start. If there are indicators odf possible interest sharing, I will go into mine or delve into his [given compatibility, which is likely if we get that far] and can talk for hours unaware of the time.

If I detect nonenthusiasm, I can and will back off. UNLESS, that is, I sense danger and want to scare him off.

Not unwillingness to share nor inability, just heavy shy self preservation.

I'm happy to share my special interests, but I know when to put a lid on it.

I don't have it.

Back when I was obsessed with anime, I rarely talked about it with anyone outside of my mom and brother, and occasionally my dad. This is because I knew that the content of anime has a higher potential for offensiveness in it because of Japan's liberal views regarding things like violence and sexuality, among other things. Not to mention the fact that I had the potential be made fun of by trying to talk about it, since anime is geek territory.

Now that I'm interested in live-action movies, however, I try and talk about it with just about anyone who will listen, because most people have at least one or two movies that they love. In fact, it was during one such conversation with a man at the store (we were talking about Tim Burton) when he recommended Charlie and the Chocolate Factory to me.

And since Chocolate Factory is a children's movie, it's appropriate for all of my family members to watch, which means that they can enjoy it with me and we can have two-sided conversations about it. This spring, my Nana and a bunch of other family members are coming to visit us, and I am so excited to share Charlie and the Chocolate Factory with them!

I sort of addresed my feelings on this issue in another thread about special interests a few weeks ago, but I'll say it again. I love rambling and giving monologues about my primary special interests to anybody who will listen. The people who genuinely care the most are my mom and my best friend, so I ramble to them the most. So, in general, I love sharing my knowledge with people who are interested. Like PunkyKat said recently, I sort of find it my duty to educate others about my special interest, spreading the word about their awesomeness and enlightening them about what they've been missing. However, I have a strong, strong dislike of sharing my special interests in the true sense of the word "sharing." I get very defensive, competitive, and jealous if somebody else becomes very interested in one of my obsessions and suggests that they know more about them than I do. I feel like they're taking over my territory, and I must prove that I'm the best.
-OddDuckNash99-

Ditto! How dare anyone claim to love meerkats more than me. Even suggesting so is a threat to me. Meerkats are MINE and I am not sharing.