My brain is filled with the sharp-edged clutter of random

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Verdandi
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25 Nov 2011, 2:35 am

noise.

That's not precisely a metaphor. Today's been particularly noisy (on account of Thanksgiving) and I still have things I heard hours ago in my brain, which feels a bit too small to contain these things. The best way I can describe it is that I feel like they have sharp edges and corners pushing against other processing (say, making decisions, paying attention to what I hear now, writing this post, anything and everything) and crowding it out.

This is often how I feel before a shutdown sets in, although it does not always lead to a full shutdown. Not to say I'm not experiencing a shutdown in some way right now, but I don't think I am. Usually when I get to this state, I don't have the ability to compose a post like this (I've tried several times in the past few weeks).

Can anyone relate to this?

Also, noise isn't the only thing that does this, it's just the most common overload for me.



Shebakoby
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25 Nov 2011, 3:03 am

I get that sometimes. Caffeine makes it worse.



echinopsis
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25 Nov 2011, 7:26 am

i have "noise" problems too. "noise" as a kind of interference, not necessarily in the auditive sense. it feels awful, its a sticky headachelike pain. usually i can think one consistent thing at a time, for example i can either have a picture in mind or just see what i am currently seeing, but sometimes an impression gets stuck somehow and the following ones pile up. its like they are slightly transparent but overlapping and i cant see them seperately anymore. i get that kind of jam for auditive, "verbal" and tactile impressions too and they can be both recently perceived or imaginary. it happens when i am having a lot of stress or sensory overload and i cant get rid of it even when i am alone and everything is quiet and i close my eyes. the overlapping pictures or patterns or sentences or whatever just stay like that until i eventually manage to fall asleep. its ok again when i wake up, but i didnt figure out how to make the noise go away yet and i hate it. i need to really concentrate on it to do the one-at-a-time-thing and when im losing it, im losing it.



Burnbridge
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25 Nov 2011, 7:51 am

I get this, but rarely. Like when crumpling cellophane takes on an edge until it sounds like "breaking glass on fire."

Do you do Yoga?¹ It helps me when my audio or visual is overloaded. By gently pushing my body to an extreme, it pulls me into touch/physical, and the audio/visual recedes to make room for the new soft stimulus. Plus the regulated breathing helps a lot.

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¹ - As much as I like Yoga, I can't get spiritual or believe in Chakras no matter how hard I try. Still, it's the most precise and formal method of exercise I know of.


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Wallourdes
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25 Nov 2011, 7:58 am

I have this from time to time, I experience it as the following.

Image

To clarify:
The fluid is the input I receive, the funnel-cup my processing capacity, the width of the funnel-mouth my processing speed and the bottle is my long-term memory. The overflow of fluid is the noise, since the funnel-cup is taxed.

What I did is place a filter to lessen the input (blocking out/willfully ignoring signals which aren't priority at the moment) and put in counter-measures in case of overflow ( 1)early warning system - to know when to take a break 2)In case of a overflow how to take advantage of the chaos that follows - improvise 3)Fast drainage - breathing & visualization exercises ).

My works in progress:
-Widening the funnel-cup by taxing it to the limit and emptying it.
-Widening the funnel-mouth by fast memory games and tricks like chunking and systemizing.
-Gradually removing filters to see more again without getting overloaded again and again.

Hope it helps.


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Burnbridge
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25 Nov 2011, 8:08 am

I wish I could put filters up. :(

I'm jealous. That's not one of my powers, though. I either have to accept the full assault on my (currently dominant) sense, or try to induce a gear-shift to a different dominant sense. Hence the doing-yoga-to-blot-out-sounds.


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Wallourdes
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25 Nov 2011, 8:18 am

Burnbridge wrote:
I wish I could put filters up. :(

I'm jealous. That's not one of my powers, though. I either have to accept the full assault on my (currently dominant) sense, or try to induce a gear-shift to a different dominant sense. Hence the doing-yoga-to-blot-out-sounds.


I placed my filters forcefully in my hospital years, to prevent myself from going crazy. sensitive senses + attrition= super sensitivity.
So, I am all plated-up, which isn't nice either.

So don't be jealous, you'll get there with things like yoga, although from another angle.


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Verdandi
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25 Nov 2011, 8:26 am

Burnbridge wrote:
I get this, but rarely. Like when crumpling cellophane takes on an edge until it sounds like "breaking glass on fire."

Do you do Yoga?¹ It helps me when my audio or visual is overloaded. By gently pushing my body to an extreme, it pulls me into touch/physical, and the audio/visual recedes to make room for the new soft stimulus. Plus the regulated breathing helps a lot.

-
¹ - As much as I like Yoga, I can't get spiritual or believe in Chakras no matter how hard I try. Still, it's the most precise and formal method of exercise I know of.


I don't do yoga, no.

I get this every day or two lately. When it's quieter it's more like every 2-3 days.



Verdandi
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25 Nov 2011, 8:33 am

echinopsis wrote:
i have "noise" problems too. "noise" as a kind of interference, not necessarily in the auditive sense. it feels awful, its a sticky headachelike pain. usually i can think one consistent thing at a time, for example i can either have a picture in mind or just see what i am currently seeing, but sometimes an impression gets stuck somehow and the following ones pile up. its like they are slightly transparent but overlapping and i cant see them seperately anymore. i get that kind of jam for auditive, "verbal" and tactile impressions too and they can be both recently perceived or imaginary. it happens when i am having a lot of stress or sensory overload and i cant get rid of it even when i am alone and everything is quiet and i close my eyes. the overlapping pictures or patterns or sentences or whatever just stay like that until i eventually manage to fall asleep. its ok again when i wake up, but i didnt figure out how to make the noise go away yet and i hate it. i need to really concentrate on it to do the one-at-a-time-thing and when im losing it, im losing it.


Yeah, this sounds like it's similar to what I'm talking about. I also get it for tactile and visual stuff, but I am not usually overloaded by those two stimuli as I spend most of my time alone in a dimly lit room. And sleeping does help get rid of it, although not before I have a shutdown - once the shutdown ends, I usually go straight to sleep.

Wallourdes wrote:
To clarify:
The fluid is the input I receive, the funnel-cup my processing capacity, the width of the funnel-mouth my processing speed and the bottle is my long-term memory. The overflow of fluid is the noise, since the funnel-cup is taxed.

What I did is place a filter to lessen the input (blocking out/willfully ignoring signals which aren't priority at the moment) and put in counter-measures in case of overflow ( 1)early warning system - to know when to take a break 2)In case of a overflow how to take advantage of the chaos that follows - improvise 3)Fast drainage - breathing & visualization exercises ).

My works in progress:
-Widening the funnel-cup by taxing it to the limit and emptying it.
-Widening the funnel-mouth by fast memory games and tricks like chunking and systemizing.
-Gradually removing filters to see more again without getting overloaded again and again.

Hope it helps.


Interesting way to view it. I guess I need some way to understand or visualize or comprehend this to try to cope with it. I've never really tried anything before - I've always just had overload and shutdown as they came.



Burnbridge
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25 Nov 2011, 8:34 am

You might want to have a go at it. The yoga, that is.

I resisted it for a rather long time, despite having dated a couple of Yoga instructors who really tried to get me into it. "The Chakras" and "chi" naturally conflict with my devout faith in atheism.

This summer, I just started incorporating it into my morning routine when I was having back problems, and I was shocked at how doing the very physical Yoga improved my mental clarity.

I got fairly quick results from it, too, very noticable after a few days. That was just from 15 minute sessions of cat/cow stretches and "sun salutes." There were no instructors where I was, but there's a lot of youtube videos out there...


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Circle989898
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25 Nov 2011, 8:50 am

This has happened to me also. It is very annoying. Happens when I try to read as much as i can in such a short span of time.



Verdandi
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25 Nov 2011, 8:56 am

It'll probably be worth a try - I'll see if I can get into and sustain it.



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25 Nov 2011, 10:48 am

ADHD-wise I can relate to "noise". My mind is filled with a sort of permanent white noise. I never new that it was there until the moment it disappeared due to methylphenidate for the first time.

Since then, I am aware of that there is something akin to white noise but it is such a muddled buzz that is resembles background noise the most. It is a mass of sudden distractions and fast-paced semi-concious busyness that I can't begin to identify what it is made of.

That is why I prefer a metaphor that equates my mind and the ADHD to the sea. I wonder if that's the same thing.

My mind is a wide filled with plants and animals. I can only guess how many there are and what types of lifeforms inhabit that sea because were I start to observing and identifying they'd not simply stop moving and multiplying and dying to allow me to record and examine them all. I'm fine with knowing general trends of what going on in there for the small fry.


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25 Nov 2011, 2:48 pm

Regularly run a program to compress and delete junk files, and using a lite browser can minimise the download size of a webpage

I defrag often and my machine runs quicker



Dae
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25 Nov 2011, 7:11 pm

Yeah, there are some good suggestions posted here...including the yoga (VERY good, if it 'suits' the user - doesn't always...) and 'deleting junk files' (lol). Besides yoga, I've had success in the past with an aspect of Buddhism study. It wasn't so much about 'emptying the mind' (I'm not sure I ever really got quite that far with it) but more about 'watching it go by'. Kind of an 'observational meditation' performed on your own thoughts.

But, above all that, I found 'prevention' still is more effective, and more time-saving in the long-run, than trying to 'correct'/'repair' an overloaded mind. Prevention can include deliberate 'breaks' from noise (a different room, ear plugs, a 'borrowed' quiet space at library, etc.), deliberate 'breaks' from visuals (one thing I noticed about the U.S. when I came back up from Mexico, is the astonishing insistence of commercial sign boarding - if 'they' don't getchya through verbal media, then they'll definitely getchya through printed advertising. Now, I learn where to look for views of things I find more desirable) , deliberate 'blocks' to interaction/increased interaction with humans (something that occasionally reminds store clerks I'm not actually coming in to become their new best friend), verbal 'ventings' to a pet or via a never-to-be-mailed letter (to avoid venting to a source/human who's likely to 'retaliate' in some unconducive-to-Aspie way), arranging 'submersion' times/days only in preferred environment(s) -- I'm doing a lot more of that lately, myself, here on WP. :)

Actively limiting what one is exposed to (at least, the controllable factors) increases the 'reserve' one 'must' use for the non-avoidables and decreases the 'after-the-fact' 'clean-up'. Part of determining what 'exposures'/non-essentials to decrease or cut out of one's life includes taking an honest scrutiny of what's being held onto/guarded without sufficient justification. ...Kinda like the folks (pitying themselves) who 'can't' afford college or proper childcare because they 'have' to get/keep non-essentials (like an extra car, salon nails, cigarettes, cable, a pack of mostly-ignored pets, designer labels, 'friends' who are actually status symbols [and, yes, 'status symbol' could be an allegory for any Aspies who do their best to attract/keep NT's for 'normality's' sake...this isn't just an idea of the somewhat 'poor' trying to be seen in the company of the 'rich'], etc.).

Figuring out what are non-essential aspects, actions, behaviors, relations, EXPENSES (a word that can be applied to more than just money) is a step in re-prioritizing what to spend one's efforts on (this includes one's money, relationships, education, moral support, etc.). If one looks at one's efforts as a FINITE RESOURCE, some paradigms may change and those efforts can be re-evaluated in terms of what's being 'wasted', what's being ignored, and what's being used in the way you most want (and/or feel you need). I, for one, am really beginning to look at relations with NT's in this way (and am refusing to support that which represses me, in ways I've deemed as approprate). ...After all, I certainly can't just 'be myself' with those unknowing of how to successfully interact with me, am not 'supposed' to 'fake it 'til I make it', am not supposed to 'dare' to ask others to make the mental reach necessary/needful to understand ME ---which leads to too many 'failed' interactions with me paying too high a price. An overfilled, traumatized brain being only one of them. [This line of reasoning may underscore my concluding/assuming that an 'overfilled' mind is a result from living/attempting to 'adapt' myself to things, behaviors, actions that are incompatible for me - as I am - and that originated from an incompatible source. I feel reasonably sure that I would do much better with an Aspie boss, an Aspie work environment, an Aspie classroom, an Aspie library, an Aspie-ruled freeway...all potentially compatible 'sources', but an unfortunately yet-to-be-made-to-happen reality yet. [We're still working towards it, yes?] Your own conclusion as to what causes 'overfilling' may differ.]

What are your 'non-essentials' that could lead to an over-stimulated, over-tired, over-full mind? Some of the answers might surprise you. I know some of mine did (especially some of the potentially 'petty' ones - like how tired I got of/from seeing overcommercialized labels of my day-to-days like seasonings in the kitchen, shampoo bottles in the bathroom, 'branded' items in the living room...after a little 'tantrum' I had one day, everything that had seemed to be 'yelling' at me got painted over, blank labels stuck on, and the few shirts I'd had with 'branding' {i.e. 'Nike' or 'attitude shirts'} were disposed of...I felt much better after that and since then). Some of the things I figured out were bothering me just seemed minor - an attitude/conclusion I now see as having been a reflection of NT-like mentality. I lost any embarrassment I'd felt (ironically, I'd even felt 'embarrassment' in the privacy of 'my own home'!) pretty quickly when I saw how re-ordering the things around me gave me so much more peace than following ANY other course of action. Once I consciously applied deliberate 'Aspie-being-an-Aspie' ideas, perceptions, paradigms, expectations to my surroundings (and corrected, where able, what hadn't been fitting an Aspie brain), I really got more of an eye-opening look at just how NT-ized things had been! It was no wonder my mind had gotten so wearied - I was living some other brain's life!

I know this is long, Verdandi...And I don't know why it is. I just post 'long' with you! Only a few others I post so 'long' with...Anyway, I like it. Maybe you do, too. ..?.. Take care. :)


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25 Nov 2011, 7:15 pm

My brain saves me from this by going into sensory overload quickly, then the world gets all blurry and distant.

But I have had moments of having too much noise in my head that I breakdown.


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