Fall- A poem about what it's like in a dual-Aspie marriage

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GoddessofSnowandIce
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17 Feb 2010, 10:47 am

There goes a thought
I almost caught sight of it
I lose them a lot
Trying not to despite of it
How can I hear
above all the noise in there
Beginning to fear
there's no hope for the disrepair

I was not built for this world around me
Somehow I've kept up but in time will drown me
But if you can help me to see inside of it all
I can fly, even if my mind thinks it's a fall

You give me the strength
to be able to sometimes hold
thoughts traveled at length
dragging across the depths of my soul
Sometimes they're so bright
and I have to turn my eyes away
You give me the might
And I hang tight another day

I was not built for this world around me
Somehow I've kept up but in time will drown me
But if you can help me to see inside of it all
I can fly, even if my mind thinks it's a fall

Though you show me your face
so calm and erased of the pain
The reason I stand
is 'cause you're holding my hand
and I know, your mind is the same

I was not built for this world around me
Somehow I've kept up but in time will drown me
But if you can help me to see inside of it all
I can fly, even if my mind thinks it's a fall

Maybe we learn
to chase faster and understand
that though we get burned
there is much from our ways that is grand
Looking around
is it really so right to crawl
When was being profound
considered a weakness to all

I was not built for this world around me
Somehow I've kept up but in time will drown me
But if you can help me to see inside of it all
I can fly, even if my mind thinks it's a fall

We will begin a new world, you and me
One that will let us run and not ever drowning
If we both can learn to see inside of it all
We can fly, even if others will think it's a fall


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zeldapsychology
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17 Feb 2010, 11:23 am

WOW! Awesome!! !! ! I'm not in a marriage (never dated/kissed a guy OR had a boyfriend) but as an Aspie in general I related to the poem itself. :-)



mechanicalgirl39
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17 Feb 2010, 12:04 pm

Oh that's a cool poem, I would love to use it as song lyrics :)


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17 Feb 2010, 1:14 pm

A very well-written poem.


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GoddessofSnowandIce
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17 Feb 2010, 1:42 pm

zeldapsychology wrote:
WOW! Awesome!! !! ! I'm not in a marriage (never dated/kissed a guy OR had a boyfriend) but as an Aspie in general I related to the poem itself. :-)


Thank you. I'm glad that you were able to relate.

I try not to take for granted what I have. I know I had my own share of past relationship issues due to AS, but with my husband, it's just always made sense. There's no guesswork involved. We finish each other's sentences, make the same obscure stupid jokes that no one else gets... Although we had been friends for much longer, it took 23 years to finally make the right kind of connection. Just having him there validates my thoughts and feelings and makes me not feel like I'm facing the world alone. Even when the world is laughing, we have the comfort of a world of our own.

I hope you can find that someday! :)


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GoddessofSnowandIce
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17 Feb 2010, 1:43 pm

mechanicalgirl39 wrote:
Oh that's a cool poem, I would love to use it as song lyrics :)


If you ever write the song, I definitely want to hear it.


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Ebonwinter
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17 Feb 2010, 1:44 pm

I love it you have a great way with words that really speak to me in some I can relate even though I've never kissed a girl even



GoddessofSnowandIce
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17 Feb 2010, 1:44 pm

Tim_Tex wrote:
A very well-written poem.


Thanks. Just kinda came to me this morning at work of all places. I didn't want the ideas to run away from me as they do when I don't write while I'm thinking of it, so I scribbled it down in notepad in between my duties. Sent it to my hubby this morning.


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GoddessofSnowandIce
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17 Feb 2010, 1:48 pm

Ebonwinter wrote:
I love it you have a great way with words that really speak to me in some I can relate even though I've never kissed a girl even


It's funny you should say that because most people wouldn't think of someone with AS as a good communicator. For a lot of things, I have trouble finding the right words. When something hits a right note, I find I can be very fluent in how I communicate, but only in writing. I stammer and have poor voice modulation so I think my words lose a lot of their punch when I speak. I think a lot of that is my mind moves faster than my verbal pathways. Trying to sum something up is impossible because every darn little fine detail is relevant.

Glad you liked it.


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Ebonwinter
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17 Feb 2010, 1:52 pm

GoddessofSnowandIce wrote:
Ebonwinter wrote:
I love it you have a great way with words that really speak to me in some I can relate even though I've never kissed a girl even


It's funny you should say that because most people wouldn't think of someone with AS as a good communicator. For a lot of things, I have trouble finding the right words. When something hits a right note, I find I can be very fluent in how I communicate, but only in writing. I stammer and have poor voice modulation so I think my words lose a lot of their punch when I speak. I think a lot of that is my mind moves faster than my verbal pathways. Trying to sum something up is impossible because every darn little fine detail is relevant.

Glad you liked it.


Yeah I feel you on the voice thing my voice is a little monotone or wispy



pandabear
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17 Feb 2010, 3:46 pm

Very nice. Have you written some more?



GoddessofSnowandIce
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17 Feb 2010, 10:05 pm

pandabear wrote:
Very nice. Have you written some more?


I don't get to write as much as I'd like. If I don't write it down while I'm thinking of it, the thoughts usually get lost in the swirling sea that is my ever moving mind.


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Philologos
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18 Feb 2010, 1:15 am

Indeed. That's us. Aspidity only very recently realized, but we can TALK [and how few there have been I could go beyond pidgin].

Thanks and felicitations.



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18 Feb 2010, 9:04 am

I enjoyed this poem and thank you very much for sharing this.

I am married to a wonderful NT wife (who is EVERYTHING I need and MORE than I deserve) BUT what you write applies equally to us.

I would have changed the repeating verse, (sorry I can't remember the gramatical/literary term) to better describe my view point, to this;

I was not built for this world around me
Somehow I've kept up and
I can fly, even if my mind thinks it's a fall


Thanks and if you have found a partner to make the journey more meaningful, I congratulate you. :D


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GoddessofSnowandIce
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19 Feb 2010, 1:19 pm

Philologos wrote:
Indeed. That's us. Aspidity only very recently realized, but we can TALK [and how few there have been I could go beyond pidgin].

Thanks and felicitations.


Hope your outlook remains positive now that you have the key to your mind. It's so liberating to have a way of explaining yourself, isn't it?

Thanks!


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GoddessofSnowandIce
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19 Feb 2010, 1:22 pm

Blindspot149 wrote:
I enjoyed this poem and thank you very much for sharing this.

I am married to a wonderful NT wife (who is EVERYTHING I need and MORE than I deserve) BUT what you write applies equally to us.

I would have changed the repeating verse, (sorry I can't remember the gramatical/literary term) to better describe my view point, to this;

I was not built for this world around me
Somehow I've kept up and
I can fly, even if my mind thinks it's a fall


Thanks and if you have found a partner to make the journey more meaningful, I congratulate you. :D


I'm glad you're in a happy relationship. I know one shouldn't put too much self-worth in another, but when dealing with adversity, sometimes it's good to have validation from someone who sees your worth for you. That's how it is for me. I don't know what I'd do without him and he's said the same to me.

Thank you for your kind words! :)


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