lot's of questions!

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My husband just got out of the Navy after 11 yrs. We have just figured out (mostly on our own) that all three of our boys (we also have a 2yr old daughter) are likely Aspies. I spent 10 yrs trying to figure out what was going on with my oldest and they just kept giving him different drugs that messed him up more. Also, having his dad gone for every holiday/birthday and a grand total of 5 years didn't help things much.
My kids are a mess now (military doctors are idots!) and it's hard to find a doctor that has a clue what we're talking about. It's also hard to decipher between Aspie symptoms and the other things they have going on.... my 11 yr old also has a tick disorder (which causes him to cough-hence lots of meds), weakness in his left side, and post traumatic stress problems from his brother having cranial surgery and a car we were in exploding within a 3wk time frame when he was 3. I'm just glad we have a reason for his obsession with Mario from Nintendo.
My 8 yr old has very classic symptoms, but instead he was diagnosed as Bi-Polar with OCD and sensory integration probs. He won't eat more than 6 different foods and does show some signs of depression but it's mostly caused by over stimulation from his hyperactive 5yr old brother, who does all the things my oldest did at 5.
Do I assume that I am completely right and the doctors are stupid, or do I put my son on bi-polar meds and hope for the best? Do most families, especially with boys, have more than one child with Asperger's? I know my dad has Aspie's (he won't admit it though) and his brother and father fit too, and I'm pretty sure that I fit the signs as well, plus my mom is bi-polar. It would have been helpful if there was one thing going on and not 5. Especially not 5 different ones per child. Is that "normal?"

HI, I read , Pretending to be Normal a few months ago, and learned that autism is indeed genetic. My mom and I both carry many traits of asperger, and my daughter is autistic and learning delayed...We all carry a fuller plate than others, and I can sense you have your hands full here. I also sense great love and dedication towards your sons, they are in great care with you..

I have no siblings at all. I am an only child.

I have one brother, who has ADHD. A lot of us in our family have ADHD, but only I suffer from AS.

No formal diagnosis with them but I can see traces of it throughout my family and have strong suspitions they are all older than me by 10 years and cant see them every getting tested.