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CaptainTrips222
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04 Mar 2010, 2:57 am

I don't mind it at all. In fact, I often look too intensely at people I don't know. I don't like it when somebody averts their eyes. It seems from what I read here, some people with AS get bothered by it. How common is that, and how is it with you? Share, please.



Aurore
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04 Mar 2010, 2:58 am

I don't like it with strangers, not because of the eye contact specifically, it is more of a shyness thing.

I have no problem making eye contact with loved ones. Occasionally though I'll point my ear at them instead so I can hear them better.


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CaptainTrips222
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04 Mar 2010, 3:11 am

Aurore wrote:
I don't like it with strangers, not because of the eye contact specifically, it is more of a shyness thing.

I have no problem making eye contact with loved ones. Occasionally though I'll point my ear at them instead so I can hear them better.


Hearing difficulties, if I'm not being too forward?



Aurore
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04 Mar 2010, 3:13 am

CaptainTrips222 wrote:
Aurore wrote:
I don't like it with strangers, not because of the eye contact specifically, it is more of a shyness thing.

I have no problem making eye contact with loved ones. Occasionally though I'll point my ear at them instead so I can hear them better.


Hearing difficulties, if I'm not being too forward?


Not with volume so much as with distinguishing voices from background noise. For some reason it's really hard for me.


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auntblabby
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04 Mar 2010, 3:33 am

depends on if the person stares bullets into my eyes or not. "dead fish" eyes are disturbing. have been around sociopathic types who could drill evil into my eyes to devastating effect, via repetitive "cut-off" gestures or just staring at one laser spot on my pupils for waaayy too long. also have been around the same types who could use subtly averted eyes to a similar unsettling effect. OTOH, if a person has "smiling" eyes i could just "fall into" them. a sociopath's eyes never smile. the rest of their face does but NOT their eyes.



CaptainTrips222
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04 Mar 2010, 3:44 am

auntblabby wrote:
depends on if the person stares bullets into my eyes or not. "dead fish" eyes are disturbing. have been around sociopathic types who could drill evil into my eyes to devastating effect, via repetitive "cut-off" gestures or just staring at one laser spot on my pupils for waaayy too long. also have been around the same types who could use subtly averted eyes to a similar unsettling effect. OTOH, if a person has "smiling" eyes i could just "fall into" them. a sociopath's eyes never smile. the rest of their face does but NOT their eyes.


How do you mean they subtly avert them? I'm fascinated by this. How does that work?



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04 Mar 2010, 3:50 am

I don't like it. I will look at someone if I feel comfortable.



Woodpeace
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04 Mar 2010, 4:12 am

I dislike eye contact.



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04 Mar 2010, 4:21 am

CaptainTrips222 wrote:
Aurore wrote:
I don't like it with strangers, not because of the eye contact specifically, it is more of a shyness thing.

I have no problem making eye contact with loved ones. Occasionally though I'll point my ear at them instead so I can hear them better.


Hearing difficulties, if I'm not being too forward?

Peripheral vision I think it's called. People with autism have difficulty understand what people are saying when they look at them, so they listen to them side on, or don't make eye contact. I find I can speak more fluently and understand people more when I'm not looking at them.
I don't like the way eye contact makes me feel. It's like the person is really disgusted at me when they're not. When I trust someone I can look at them if I tell myself too, otherwise it's just something that I don't do naturally.
It's such an NT thing to think if someone is not making eye contact that they're distrustful. I don't really care. I feel better when I'm not looking at someone.


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auntblabby
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04 Mar 2010, 4:40 am

CaptainTrips222 wrote:

How do you mean they subtly avert them? I'm fascinated by this. How does that work?


hello:+)
the shifty-eyed types your mother warned you about. or at least my mother warned ME about. like they are hiding something.



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04 Mar 2010, 4:55 am

I'm not sure whether I like or dislike it, I just find it awkward. It's harder if I don't know the person and I find it easier if the other person isn't talking. It bothers me a bit as general opinion is that if someone can't make eye contact they must be lying or untrustworthy somehow and in my case it's completely untrue



Brennan
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04 Mar 2010, 6:27 am

I'm not a big fan of it, even with my SO. Someone making eye contact with me makes me really uncomfortable and I nearly always have to look away. I find when talking to people I look just a little to the left or right of their eyes, so it looks like I am looking at them, when I'm really not.



Valoyossa
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04 Mar 2010, 6:42 am

One day we had classes about communication and I was the only one person in my class who didn't like eye contact. I said it's because yyyyy.... because... because she has glasses and they reflect too much! But Psychologist who was keeping these classes asked me later if I am autistic. Because my body said him :roll:

I don't like to look into sbs eyes. Eyes are only eyes, they can be f.e. red or shiny but it won't change in next minutes. I don't have to stare stare stare at them like TV-maniac in screen. There are many other things worth to see. Nature, buildings, landscape are changing and eyes are still the same. Ok, they can be also dead, but I don't talk with dead ones :D


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04 Mar 2010, 6:49 am

I definitely don't like it.


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04 Mar 2010, 7:33 am

pensieve wrote:
People with autism have difficulty understand what people are saying when they look at them, so they listen to them side on, or don't make eye contact.

Yes, that's true! Oh I learn so much here at WP. That's exactly what happens. I wonder if it's a multitasking problem. But I do hate eye contact anyway, even with magazines.



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04 Mar 2010, 8:12 am

I have a hard time making eye contact. I can force myself to do it, but a lot of times the whole thing is an act and I want to stop. Usually it works, but sometimes the person can see I'm uncomfortable and it does more harm than good. I don't even like to do it with my own mother. But I think if someone knows me a long time, they understand and I can drop the act.

I once interviewed a guy for a job who stared at the floor for virtually the entire duration of the interview. I just couldn't hire him. I felt terrible about it because I understood.