What on earth?! Can some one please explain this nonsense?!

Post Reply New Topic

I am as confused as you are, his behavior sure doesn't make any sense. But it sounds like you are handling it really well, good for you for saying "I don't like hugging much". That's awesome you set a boundary with him. He'll probably get tired of acting like an idiot eventually.

But we are talking about someone who is 14, here. He is kissing girls and OK being affectionate in public. I don't think this is a case of an immature crush, as one would find in elementary school.

ProfessaM,

I WISH I could explain it. Frankly, I think most bullys ARE insecure.

I really don't understand some social things. One girl who was a friend once did things that ANNOYED me, and she KNEW it. My mother only relatively recently(about 35 years AFTER the incident) reminded me of it, and said she LIKED me. WHO KNEW?

In a commercial, a father tells his young daughter that boys do the same. I couldn't tell you if THAT is true either.

When I was 14 this happened to me a lot. At first I thought I was being bullied, then someone would say it's because they have a shameful crush on me, then it would turn out they really only did it because the wanted to take me down to their level. I could never tell if it was real teasing or flirty teasing, and I could never tell when the flirting was real flirting and when they were actually making fun of me. There was always plenty of laughter behind my back. I would ask my friend (who's charming and always interacts flawlessly wherever she goes) and she would back me up or give me pointers. I always wondered why she would want to be with someone like me, but as it turns out she really did like me. We're still friends, but don't see each other much (different cities, different lives). But before I had her I mistook bullying for flirting and thought guys were crushing on me when they really just wanted to humiliate me, and I probably shot down a few honest charm-attempts by assuming malicious intent. Life could have been so much better if I'd only been average smart about the social bit.

Thankfully, as I came into my twenties, I started hanging out with older people who were secure enough to actually flirt when they meant to flirt. And that's the blessing of this age. Nobody can force me to hang out with meanspirited hormonal NTs who enjoy outwitting me socially just because I outwitted them in class.

You are interesting to him and his friends. If you want it to stop you need to stop being interesting. If you're ok with it at this level just don't be too interesting.

You are actually in control here in a strange way

If you totally ignore them they'll likely go away (they may get worse first trying to get a reaction).
If you give him a few responces here and there they'll stay interested but not overly, they may even start to like you and consider you part of their group, though on a lower standing to them.
If you give them the responces they laugh at, like and enjoy, they'll keep doing it and likely more.

Whatever you do, don't get emotional, violent, shout, screen, fight etc, it will only cause you problems, both with them, everyone else and the school.

I remember when I was 13 a boy had a crush on me. I didn't say anything to him. I was still pretty much a select mute at that point. So later on that year he accused me of bashing in his locker and stealing money from the school. Love can make people do/say awful things.
And recently a guy who I had been friends with and even give him my number had turned nasty probably because he couldn't get me to reciprocate any feelings.