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petitesouris
Deinonychus
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03 Mar 2010, 6:19 pm

i remember seeing this once... :idea:

"This youngster or adolescent needs to know the reasons for the rules before he is okay. Blindly accepting your rules is not the way he operates. He wants to know the reasons behind your actions, why something is done a certain way, and it has to make sense to him. If it seems too arbitrary, it's not an adequate reason in his mind, and he won't listen. His coping strategy is to try to make sense of the world through logic, reasoning, and rational thought. He wants the world to be a place with order and rationality to it. This reduces his anxiety. He may ask lots of questions about how the world works. He uses his very well-developed logical mind to understand what is going on, and you need to give him the reasoning behind a decision or an action.

He is often a very bright boy with a high IQ. He usually becomes more flexible when he knows the reason for something. The rule alone is not sufficient. After you have explained the reason for your request, many behavioral issues decrease. However, he may not accept your logic unless it is quite convincing, because he may very well have his own reasons and explanations. His view of the world is based on logic and reasons, which can also cause him to become over analytical. In this case, he often cannot function appropriately because he never gets past the analysis stage to the action stage. He suffers from "analysis paralysis." Remember, not every Logic Boy has all of these characteristics.

Recommended Approach: You will need to explain why something needs to be done or why it can't be done before you will get compliance. For the Logic Boy, understanding precedes cooperation. If your explanations provide him with information he didn't have, might have overlooked, or didn't understand, you will have helped him clarify the way the world works and how a desired action is beneficial to him. As these kids become older, you will need to do much more explaining because rules by themselves will have less impact. As you explain things to these kids, always match your explanation to their cognitive and emotional level. Don't overestimate how much they know because they have a large vocabulary. Always make sure they understand you as you move step by step. As you explain something from a new angle you will help them see it differently. For those who overanalyze, you will have to help them reduce the amount of analysis by helping them see how it is unproductive."

does anyone feel the same way :?:



NOBS
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03 Mar 2010, 7:06 pm

Hell yes!! !!

A funny thing that may be of some help to parents of aspies, is that when I was a child, the answer that I was given as to "why" or "why can't I", was that "the law states that until you are 18 years old, I am responsible for your actions, and I refuse to be held accountable for the risks incurred by such actions". I didn't like that answer one bit, but it was impossible to argue the logic of that answer.



DavidM
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03 Mar 2010, 7:23 pm

Yes totally.

If someone tells me to believe or do something and it doesn't seem right or I don't see the reasoning behind it I turn into a paranoid, confused moron.



gramirez
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03 Mar 2010, 7:25 pm

Yep. My parents' reason was always "because I said so", and that never cut it for me. They were totally oblivious as to why it never worked.


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Aurore
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03 Mar 2010, 7:27 pm

The "logic boy" subtype. :lol:

I was a lot like this, but my parents are Aspies and like that too, so there was never any friction between us - they just explained their actions and why I shouldn't do stuff, and I learned to trust their judgement.


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03 Mar 2010, 7:45 pm

I was this way as a child but I learned to follow rules to stay out of trouble because I got sick of it. I still prefer to have things explained to me because it drives me crazy if I am told to not doing something or stop doing it and they don't tell me. Sometimes I listen, sometimes I don't. It depends on the situation. If I get a vibe saying I should listen nonetheless, I do it.

Sometimes I get from my mother "Just trust me on this" even my husband says the same. I don't know why they can't explain things so they say that instead and I know it's something serious and if I say it or do it, I might regret it. Then it be like "I told you so" and then I am mad about why didn't they just tell me that than not telling me in the first place. Was it that hard? Seesh.I had that experience and my husband felt bad and responsible for what I did. I was mad at him for not telling me why in the first place so I thought it was his opinion than a fact. But he does better now. He tries his best to explain things to me and his answers aren't always good enough so I try and listen to him even if his answers aren't logical enough.



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03 Mar 2010, 7:58 pm

Yes sounds like me apart from the high IQ, large vocabulary and the fact that am a female.


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happymusic
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03 Mar 2010, 8:05 pm

I was definitely that kid. Rules, math equations, etc. all had to have a reason.

When I was 5 or so I read on the back of a bottle of mouthwash, "Do not swallow." Well, i was a little annoyed at this because there was no reason given. So, I opened it and drank it down. I went on my way playing with this and that and found myself in the bathroom again soon after throwing up minty freshness.

I still don't like it when there's no reason given, no matter the object or rule.



Aurore
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03 Mar 2010, 8:46 pm

happymusic wrote:
I was definitely that kid. Rules, math equations, etc. all had to have a reason.

When I was 5 or so I read on the back of a bottle of mouthwash, "Do not swallow." Well, i was a little annoyed at this because there was no reason given. So, I opened it and drank it down. I went on my way playing with this and that and found myself in the bathroom again soon after throwing up minty freshness.

I still don't like it when there's no reason given, no matter the object or rule.


I did this too, actually. I got pretty sick.


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03 Mar 2010, 11:34 pm

In some ways, yes. If a rule didn't make sense to me then I wouldn't follow it. For example, when I first started school a rule was to fold your arms when you are sitting on the mat. The teachers explanation was that it was to stop us from fidgetting, but even if I could prove that I could pay attention without folding my arms I would still get into trouble for not doing so. However I wasn't so logical that illogical things made me anxious. I just thought people were stupid, lol.


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MathGirl
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04 Mar 2010, 1:04 am

I found it. This site says that there are 3 Asperger's subtypes, "logic boy" being one of them:
http://www.myaspergerschild.com/2009/12 ... c-boy.html
"Rule boy" subtype matches me better. I need rules for everything. I didn't always question things, although with some things I was obsessed with, I would question them extensively.


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pat2rome
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04 Mar 2010, 1:14 am

..........wow. Dead-on. I'll ask "Why do you want to/not do that?" and people usually interpret it as me being coy instead of seeing it as an honest question. I always like to know the reasons behind things, which was the MAJOR reason I absolutely hated Calc II. I loved Calc I because I knew exactly what the things I was learning were used for. Not the case in Calc II; my professor only taught us the how without ever touching on the why. I hated it, and the only time I actually enjoyed doing the homework (not in the sense that I look forward to it, in the sense that I enjoy getting the problems right) was when I had been drinking lots of martinis (shaken, not stirred) in celebration of the new James Bond movie.


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pat2rome
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04 Mar 2010, 1:28 am

NOBS wrote:
Hell yes!! !!

A funny thing that may be of some help to parents of aspies, is that when I was a child, the answer that I was given as to "why" or "why can't I", was that "the law states that until you are 18 years old, I am responsible for your actions, and I refuse to be held accountable for the risks incurred by such actions". I didn't like that answer one bit, but it was impossible to argue the logic of that answer.


Haha, that is the perfect answer to that question.


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pat2rome
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04 Mar 2010, 1:29 am

Aurore wrote:
The "logic boy" subtype. :lol:

I was a lot like this, but my parents are Aspies and like that too, so there was never any friction between us - they just explained their actions and why I shouldn't do stuff, and I learned to trust their judgement.


I do this with things my sister tells me. I know that social rules don't always have logic behind them, and I know that she is one of the most social people I know. I learned not to expect a logical answer when she told me something and to just go along with it.


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Aurore
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04 Mar 2010, 2:28 am

MathGirl wrote:
I found it. This site says that there are 3 Asperger's subtypes, "logic boy" being one of them:
http://www.myaspergerschild.com/2009/12 ... c-boy.html
"Rule boy" subtype matches me better. I need rules for everything. I didn't always question things, although with some things I was obsessed with, I would question them extensively.


I read a book with subtypes too. I do fall a lot under logic boy, but I fall even more squarely under 'emotion boy: fantasy type' - obsessed with imaginary worlds, television programs, video games, books, etc.


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Last edited by Aurore on 04 Mar 2010, 2:44 am, edited 1 time in total.