Uggh, AS person I know is diagnosing me with AS

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It's kind of annoying really. After he said this I took the AS test in wired magazine (don't know how reliable it is) and received the average score for an NT person. I also had a psych eval as recently as my teens (I was in foster care and everyone got them) and wasn't diagnosed with AS (don't know if general psych evals test for this though).

I am an INTJ and there are definitely similarities, but I don't believe we have the same problems with processing social information, nor do we have the obsessions, interest in routines or details. INTJs love to learn information that they consider useful, but I don't become obsessed with any one subject and will read about a variety of things that catch my interest. I also have never become focused on parts of things, which I've read AS people do.

I argued with him but it was frustrating because he would name something that I've done before where I imagine my motive would be ambiguous from an observer's perspective, then ascribe the motive that he, an AS person, would have for such behavior. For example, he had done something that had made me angry, and he assumed that I had become angry over a simple change in routine. My reaction had nothing to with a change in routine, but he basically just cut me off and didn't consider what I was saying.

Anyway, is it common for AS people to tell others they have AS? He has listed a whole bunch of famous people who he says have AS, so I wouldn't be surprised. Anyway, he's free to think what he wants, but I don't appreciate him sharing with me an opinion I never asked for and then disregarding my counterarguments without giving them any consideration. The behavior is complex and any diagnosis should be made by trained psychologists with adequate quality controls.

I just wanted to vent about this. Talking to him when he's made up his mind is like pulling teeth and I don't think I'll be bothering with it again.

Once I found out about my diagnosis, I definitely started looking for traits of AS in others. I actually found three who I'm fairly certain have it (two friends, one neighbor), but it was from consideration of a lot of things, not just one specific instance. I also haven't told them, and probably won't tell them, of my suspicions since I don't think it would serve any purpose and it has the potential for lots of awkwardness.

My gut reaction is that he feels isolated, and he wants to alleviate that isolation. He wants it badly enough to ignore everything but the bits of ambiguous evidence that he can interpret the way he wants.

I've also never understood the tendency to diagnose famous people, alive or dead. If a doctor can see me and talk to me in person and misdiagnose me, imagine how much easier it is to misdiagnose someone when you don't have any personal experience or nearly as much background on them.

It might help to try to put things in perspective. Plenty of NT's hate it when people don't keep appointments, but it has to do more with rudeness than with a change in routine. Plenty of NT's fidget when concentrating or when uncomfortable. Some may be shy; some may be awkward. But they aren't all AS, and neither are you.

Also, how clearly have you told him to drop the subject? Remember, no matter how obvious a hint may be to you, it could be completely missing its mark.

Maybe he wanted to connect with you. Maybe he really wants to know someone else with AS. I suspect people of AS but I don't tell them. Usually I just think that they have AS traits but not enough to be diagnosed.
You probably know that with your friend that once someone with AS thinks something is so (like you have AS) you can't convince them otherwise. I'm trying to fix this part of me as it gets me into a lot of arguments.

I'm guilty of this. I remember asking my husband if he has it when we met and he didn't even know what it was then so he asked if I had it and I told him I'm diagnosed with it. This was back when I was doubting my condition. I gave him the link to the rdos quiz.

Also at the Nsider2 forum, I thought I made a new friend and we both seemed to think alike because we were having the same opinions and I thought if he had it too so I asked him and he said he doesn't have it. He is just shy.

I have also noticed traits in other people such as my family, my brother, and my husband has traits.

My mom gets mad if I bring up AS traits in her so I don't talk about it. She finds all these other reasons why it's not an aspie trait. I think she is in denial. My husband thinks I am seeing things because "I want everyone to have it." But he said he will agree with what I say about my dad.

It's wishful thinking, mostly, especially the "ZOMG Suchandsuch Famousperson has AS!" thing. Though equally well, we do know what to look for; the problem lies with recognising that a few "subclinical" traits do not an AS diagnosis make.

I have a friend who i think may have AS, and i've told him what i think. I haven't kept going on and on about it or anything, because he doesn't seem to be interested in any of his behavior being part of any "syndrome".. but i have commented on how he is similar to me in some aspie-ish ways.

This.

Take it as a lesson, folks: If you are going to go around saying people have AS--you or anyone else--then you had better study psychology first. There are probably ten subclinical or broader autism phenotype people for every actual autistic, and you'll be seeing them everywhere if you don't watch out.

I knew someone who used to run a AB/DL group and I thought he may have it just by things he said about himself. Above normal hearing and his difficulty with people and lack of relationships so I told him about the condition and he said he has enough things wrong with him already, he doesn't need more. I dropped it.

I don't know how common it is for someone with AS to think others have it as well. I know that I, as a mother with two boys with AS, have a bad habit of seeing it in everybody. [not really, but it would seem this way] I think it's my feeble attempt to find reason in a world of chaos!! !

Lots of people have characteristics that are in line with AS characteristics, but still, that doesn't mean an individual actually is on the spectrum. For instance, you mentioned not having obsessions or fixations on one subject. Well, that's a pretty strong AS characteristic, and if you don't have these fixations, then you probably aren't on the spectrum. Your friend may want to see similarieties between the two of you because it helps him make sense of the world. You know that you don't fit the spectrum -- just nod your head and say "whatever" whenever your friend makes comments.

It shouldn't be uncommon to actually meet other people with autism; current estimates run at one in a hundred, so there's no good reason to think that you'll never meet someone else, just by chance, who also has it; and with the adult diagnosis rates, it's not even unlikely that you'll meet someone who is autistic and undiagnosed. It's just that you've got to remember that autistic traits are not enough for a diagnosis; they have to pass the severity threshold for that.

I've had the opposite happen to me. NT's telling me I don't have AS, and assuming that the motivations for my actions are the same as what would motivate them to act in such ways.

"Subclinical traits" have nothing to do with the original poster's situation, as the original poster scored near the neurotypical mean on a test that has been shown to differentiate to a high degree of statistical significance.

Most likely what is happening is that the original poster's friend is confused about which traits are indicative of Asperger's and which traits are indicative of an INTJ personality type - not surprising, given the prevalence of INTJ among aspies.

I can see how it would be frustrating. For the original poster, you could show your friend your test results and refer him to the original paper on its statistical significance. It sounds like your AQ is almost 4 standard deviations from the aspie mean.

Edit: with regard to whether aspies often think others are also aspies, I think it's common for people in general to assume, often incorrectly, that others think the same way they do.